I got into SHMUPs because I loved Gradius and R-Type on NES when I was 5 and was like "wtf, they still make those????" in like 2009.

I only 1CC'd two games, so I'm a novice, but I also understand that I'm not the target audience of the genre.

All those naked fat chicks got fresh kicks

They played with Balzac when I saw them, and we were all like "hehehehe, ball sack"

Modern Gamers when a videogame isn't a cookie-cutter 3rd-Person-Shooter that plays exactly the same as every game they've ever played before:

This shit is siiiiiiick

Damn, that's As Cold as Ice

His name is John Handgun, and he's a bearded white man with a gun who's wife has died.

ACAB only applies to real-life because real cops are corrupt power abusers who prop up systemic oppression.

Fictional cops are romanticized ideals of what a good cop should be, so there's no reason to hate Carl Winslow or Mappy.

IT'S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!