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dymphna.bsky.social
dymphna
@dymphna.bsky.social
230 followers 590 following 1.8K posts
maybe only 20% back on my bullshit
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dymphna.bsky.social
I think about this book a lot.
Holy Feast and Holy Fast | Ingram Academic
In the period between 1200 and 1500 in western Europe, a number of religious women gained widespread veneration and even canonization as saints for their ext...
www.ingramacademic.com
November 27, 2025 at 12:16 AM
dymphna.bsky.social
November 26, 2025 at 6:21 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
wherein Big Charlie criticizes my toxic masculine traits. happy international men's day?
On one of the rare occasions where I talk about my feelings to another person, I was talking to—who else—Big Charlie. He listened to me attentively, just like he always does. After a while, he said to me, "You know, I think you have internalized a lot of machismo and it's hurting you. You're embodying too much toxic masculinity." Hearing that from a 6'1" dude who looks like he could kill a steer with his bare hands was extremely funny. But he was absolutely right. Anyway, this is a long thread. A guy like Charlie won't toot his own horn or promote himself as a Great Example of Manhood. But he will call out sexism at work, and tell the other guys in the locker room to knock it off, and he has raised sons that are good men. If all of us, regardless of gender, were more like him, our society would be better off.
November 26, 2025 at 5:10 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
torn on this whole post, because I think the notion of "masculine" virtue versus "feminine" virtue is a bit ridiculous, but the notion of "masculine virtue" has culture cache and appealing to it can be rhetorically useful
I consider Charlie an embodiment of masculine virtue, if there is such a thing. Charlie has three children. His first was born when he was 20, during the break between his freshman and sophomore years in university. His youngest was born when he was 28. Charlie got his PhD when he at age 33. Charlie did not come from money. He had to work full-time in construction while he was in university. He also believed strongly in being a devoted father. He would come home from school/work everyday and take care of his kids because he believed strongly that his wife needed a break, and that he needed to invest as much time as possible with his family. He got about three hours of sleep every night for about ten years. He is the most devoted parent I have ever met. He knows everything there is to know about parenting. He is also devoted to the rest of his family and his friends. He takes care of the elders in his family, and to the young people who have lost their way. He is generous with his time and finances with others. If your roof is leaking, Charlie will fix it. I have known Charlie for many years and I've never heard him tell a lie. He is calm and controlled in his demeanor. I've seen him angry, but I've never seen him lose his temper. He is also physically fit. He's a massive, buff dude who lifts and boxes. Random guys on the street ask him how much he can lift. In other words, Charlie embodies all of the virtues that the masculinity grifters on the internet extoll. He's strong. He can do all of the things that those sociopaths claim are important: he can lift heavy, he can fix cars, he can build a house, he can canoe from Ontario to NWT(!), he sired three children, he provides for a SAHM and three kids with a six-figure job that he got from his own merits. Did I also mention that he's a poet? Because Big Charlie is not just a man's man, he's got a PhD in literature and is genuinely one of the smartest people and best writers that I've ever met. Did I mention that Charlie is woke (laudatory)? He's extremely woke. A funny story: One of my more masculine (derogatory) traits is that I don't deal with my own emotions well. I minimize and bottle up my own feelings. I tell myself that actually feeling my emotions, letting them show up out in the open (or god forbid, affect my life choices), and making myself vulnerable to other people is a sort of childish self-indulgence. I shouldn't be having feelings. I should be *working,* ferscrissake. Stop being anxious and get to fucking work, I tell myself, because to do otherwise is to indulge in adolescent self-pity.
November 26, 2025 at 5:10 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
November 25, 2025 at 4:11 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
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i am not smarter than you
November 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
tl;dr: this is not, in fact, what peak performance looks like
November 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
and tbf I saw a schlubby middle-aged systema instructor with flat feet sparring a 25 year old cut dude I would bet on ol' yevgeny every time
November 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
segal is Ed Parker, if Ed Parker was an insufferable asshole who took himself extremely seriously and also committed many physical and sexual assaults.

(by accounts he was a nice guy tho. fast hands will get you pretty far)
November 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
would an asymmetrical top make me look too much like a majorette?
November 24, 2025 at 3:04 PM
dymphna.bsky.social
I have a nice neck and shoulders and a high shoulder:waist raitio so I like stuff that accents that.

I think no.2 is my fav, but I always wear a bra w/ straps for everyday occasions.

honourable mention also goes to this one, which is similarly unsuited for everyday wear
November 24, 2025 at 3:01 PM