Fake Yarra Trams
@fakeyarratrams.bsky.social
The real news from a fake perspective, about tram life in Melbourne. Account also often hijacked by Depot Cat.
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
Looks like we picked the wrong week to relaunch our 2020 venture Yarra Planes. #YarraTrams
November 29, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Looks like we picked the wrong week to relaunch our 2020 venture Yarra Planes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: In 2011 Auckland NZ opened Dockline loop. W 421, renumbered 258 operating on the 1.5km line, with a bumper crowd (two people) watching the tram pass by what looks like a playground for sheep, and a giant syringe. Kiwis really are a weird mob. #YarraTrams
November 26, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: In 2011 Auckland NZ opened Dockline loop. W 421, renumbered 258 operating on the 1.5km line, with a bumper crowd (two people) watching the tram pass by what looks like a playground for sheep, and a giant syringe. Kiwis really are a weird mob. #YarraTrams
Given the amount of media attention @fakemetrotrains.bsky.social are getting for this passenger display, here at #YarraTrams we have decided to delay the introduction of our new express tram service, running Footscray, University, Carnegie, and Kooyong.
November 25, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Given the amount of media attention @fakemetrotrains.bsky.social are getting for this passenger display, here at #YarraTrams we have decided to delay the introduction of our new express tram service, running Footscray, University, Carnegie, and Kooyong.
Today is National Fairy Bread Day. Free travel for anyone who is smothered in butter and covered in hundreds and thousands. See attached pic for minimal acceptable standard. #YarraTrams
November 23, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Today is National Fairy Bread Day. Free travel for anyone who is smothered in butter and covered in hundreds and thousands. See attached pic for minimal acceptable standard. #YarraTrams
Why did they leave me out of the Perth Test. I’m the greatest cricketer Australia has ever seen, and with my claws ball tampering is a breeze. Silly humans only selecting their own kind. ~Depot Cat
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Why did they leave me out of the Perth Test. I’m the greatest cricketer Australia has ever seen, and with my claws ball tampering is a breeze. Silly humans only selecting their own kind. ~Depot Cat
Hey Channel 9, let us fix that reporting for you:
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
November 22, 2025 at 9:29 AM
Hey Channel 9, let us fix that reporting for you:
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
Throwback Thursday: Nov 2013, E.6001 on the first day in service, running to Brunswick, on Bourke St at King St. we see the tram being sized hp by a predator (taxi) that will soon attack it with it’s signature move, the sudden u-turn. #YarraTrams 📸@wongms.bsky.social
November 19, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Throwback Thursday: Nov 2013, E.6001 on the first day in service, running to Brunswick, on Bourke St at King St. we see the tram being sized hp by a predator (taxi) that will soon attack it with it’s signature move, the sudden u-turn. #YarraTrams 📸@wongms.bsky.social
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
November 15, 2025 at 1:00 PM
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
November 14, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
November 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
November 12, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
November 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: Oaks Day Nov 6 2008 and feet replace trains on the Flemington Racecourse line due to Connex Trains failing. A year later @fakemetrotrains took over and things got even worse. It’s why it’s always smarter to travel to things on #YarraTrams.
November 5, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Oaks Day Nov 6 2008 and feet replace trains on the Flemington Racecourse line due to Connex Trains failing. A year later @fakemetrotrains took over and things got even worse. It’s why it’s always smarter to travel to things on #YarraTrams.
Well done to Half Yours on winning your horsey race. Just a reminder the other half is mine, and I’ll take your half too if I want. ~Depot Cat
November 4, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Well done to Half Yours on winning your horsey race. Just a reminder the other half is mine, and I’ll take your half too if I want. ~Depot Cat
Hurry up Buttercup, or we’ll be late to the event that stops the nation. I’m not going to miss out on the awesome kebabs from the van outside of Flemington. It opens just in time for all the drunks leaving after the last race. Now get a move on! ~Depot Cat
November 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Hurry up Buttercup, or we’ll be late to the event that stops the nation. I’m not going to miss out on the awesome kebabs from the van outside of Flemington. It opens just in time for all the drunks leaving after the last race. Now get a move on! ~Depot Cat
I’m not enjoying this weather. Who do I scratch about it? ~Depot Cat
November 3, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I’m not enjoying this weather. Who do I scratch about it? ~Depot Cat
Looks like the LED display is broken. That first letter is an E not an F, so I better go eat. ~Depot Cat
November 1, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Looks like the LED display is broken. That first letter is an E not an F, so I better go eat. ~Depot Cat
It’s Halloween, so you have to give me stuff for dressing up. This year I’m a kebab, so that means you have to give me a kebab. It’s the law, and I put a lot of effort into this, so hurry up. ~Depot Cat
October 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
It’s Halloween, so you have to give me stuff for dressing up. This year I’m a kebab, so that means you have to give me a kebab. It’s the law, and I put a lot of effort into this, so hurry up. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: 1924, W.304 after delivery from Adelaide being unloaded by crane in the Spencer St Yards. The tram was built in Adelaide by the Holden Bodyworks. These days the crane, the yard, Holden, and we’re pretty sure Adelaide as well no longer exist. #YarraTrams
October 29, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: 1924, W.304 after delivery from Adelaide being unloaded by crane in the Spencer St Yards. The tram was built in Adelaide by the Holden Bodyworks. These days the crane, the yard, Holden, and we’re pretty sure Adelaide as well no longer exist. #YarraTrams
Struggling with your exams? For the low low price of just $299 and five kebabs, you can tell them your cat ate your homework, and I’ll happily take the blame.
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
October 29, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Struggling with your exams? For the low low price of just $299 and five kebabs, you can tell them your cat ate your homework, and I’ll happily take the blame.
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Suitable for all kinds of exams, English, Maths, Art History, Astrophysics, etc, excluding Prostate exams. ~Depot Cat
Have you ever wanted to work for #YarraTrams? Well now is your time to apply, and you too could be as happy as this driver. Mind you she is about to face disciplinary action for having her fingers facing the wrong way, while signalling to a taxi driver to stay out of the way.
October 27, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Have you ever wanted to work for #YarraTrams? Well now is your time to apply, and you too could be as happy as this driver. Mind you she is about to face disciplinary action for having her fingers facing the wrong way, while signalling to a taxi driver to stay out of the way.
Enough is enough Depot Dog! I don’t care that you’re scared of the storm, get out of my storm napping spot right now! ~Depot Cat
October 26, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Enough is enough Depot Dog! I don’t care that you’re scared of the storm, get out of my storm napping spot right now! ~Depot Cat
Fine then, the diet starts on Monday. Which Monday? Look don’t go pushing your luck, it’s a day and that’s progress, and I should be rewarded for that commitment with a dozen kebabs, so hurry up with them. ~Depot Cat
October 25, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Fine then, the diet starts on Monday. Which Monday? Look don’t go pushing your luck, it’s a day and that’s progress, and I should be rewarded for that commitment with a dozen kebabs, so hurry up with them. ~Depot Cat