he's clearly recharging for his next assault

I'm impressed with how it just builds momentum with every word accumulated

What I want to know is, why were the archaeologists where they shouldn't be?

It's hard to go past what 'Floor pie' achieves in six seconds

Ducking while driving to avoid hitting a bird approaching the car.

I used to repeatedly walk past a business whose small sign declared 'Days Contract Pressing', and every time I thought 'This is so true'.

Area Man Killed By Volume

This one, 'Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?' and 'War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General' are all equally brilliant in my opinion

*clenches fist in Australian*

Quite aside from anything else, cocaine, with a density of 1.1 g cm^-3, would be negatively buoyant relative to seawater and would therefore not keep a boat afloat.
It's a bullshit excuse for an utterly barbaric and criminal act.

Peter Wyngarde was never in King Crimson

I was forced to listen to 'Total Control' by the Motels at full volume eight times in one night when my downstairs neighbours were holding a party; the last three of those renditions were bellowed along to by the partygoers. This is accordingly a song that, for me, cannot ever redeem itself.

I wouldn't save "I'll Say Goodbye" from a burning building, but "Victoria" is a stone-cold classic

while I regret even knowing what this references, it's a glorious burn

'Tequila' is more of a karaoke song than 'We Built This City'.

Of songs by major artists (and Slick at least is a major artist, as witnessed by 'White Rabbit', 'Hey Fredrick' and 'Silver Spoon' to name but three), the only thing identifiably worse is 'Mind Gardens', from the Byrds' otherwise brilliant 'Younger Than Yesterday' LP