Hawk Gates
@gateshawk.bsky.social
I finished an entire can of 7 up
Author of "Johnny's Brand New Big Boy Bike"
https://www.amazon.com/Johnnys-Brand-New-Big-Bike/dp/1724177753/ref=sr_1_1?crid=B1PA7IB9GNB0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-H_-htHgrzs2Acf0daTDiXB
Author of "Johnny's Brand New Big Boy Bike"
https://www.amazon.com/Johnnys-Brand-New-Big-Bike/dp/1724177753/ref=sr_1_1?crid=B1PA7IB9GNB0&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-H_-htHgrzs2Acf0daTDiXB
Tired: Bono’s boring falsetto
Wired: my uncannily accurate Bono falsetto impression
Wired: my uncannily accurate Bono falsetto impression
December 2, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Tired: Bono’s boring falsetto
Wired: my uncannily accurate Bono falsetto impression
Wired: my uncannily accurate Bono falsetto impression
No one said merry Christmas to me at Starbucks
Because I didn’t go in there 😈
Because I didn’t go in there 😈
December 2, 2025 at 12:53 AM
No one said merry Christmas to me at Starbucks
Because I didn’t go in there 😈
Because I didn’t go in there 😈
I would simply ask “What can I do for extra credit and can it please be another paper that’s kinda sorta loosely based on the Bible?”
December 1, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I would simply ask “What can I do for extra credit and can it please be another paper that’s kinda sorta loosely based on the Bible?”
Legerdemain is a word invented by the spelling bee industry
December 1, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Legerdemain is a word invented by the spelling bee industry
Reposted by Hawk Gates
i challenge you to do worse. Let's make the world worse
July 10, 2025 at 12:57 PM
i challenge you to do worse. Let's make the world worse
Reposted by Hawk Gates
(tune of Papa Was a Rolling Stone) Trapper was a John M.D.
July 1, 2025 at 9:30 PM
(tune of Papa Was a Rolling Stone) Trapper was a John M.D.
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Dads really be wakin up at 6am to prepare Dad's Towels 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
June 15, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Dads really be wakin up at 6am to prepare Dad's Towels 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Reposted by Hawk Gates
If you’re really not a cop drink this ipa
April 3, 2025 at 11:09 PM
If you’re really not a cop drink this ipa
He’s the Geddy Lee of Kidzbop
December 1, 2025 at 3:28 PM
He’s the Geddy Lee of Kidzbop
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Ok I have a gold or gold plated watch from 1962 or earlier, gold cuff links also 1962 or older, and a really cool early 1960’s mahogany coffin (a little bit dinged up with shovel marks) if anybody wants to shoot me an offer and pick up sometime this week
July 9, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Ok I have a gold or gold plated watch from 1962 or earlier, gold cuff links also 1962 or older, and a really cool early 1960’s mahogany coffin (a little bit dinged up with shovel marks) if anybody wants to shoot me an offer and pick up sometime this week
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Replying “no one cares” under every post when I’m in a bad mood
July 13, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Replying “no one cares” under every post when I’m in a bad mood
Reposted by Hawk Gates
i'm beating the tar out of the average american
July 18, 2025 at 4:26 AM
i'm beating the tar out of the average american
Reposted by Hawk Gates
(Black and white footage of a woman holding a casserole slipping and falling in her kitchen comically)
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
July 28, 2025 at 6:43 PM
(Black and white footage of a woman holding a casserole slipping and falling in her kitchen comically)
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
Reposted by Hawk Gates
Is there a certain year or decade when it was popular to be buried with an expensive watch or jewelry? Just wondering. They have like 1890 to the present where I’m at
July 7, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Is there a certain year or decade when it was popular to be buried with an expensive watch or jewelry? Just wondering. They have like 1890 to the present where I’m at
Kidzbop version of Rush “Limelight”
November 30, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Kidzbop version of Rush “Limelight”
Wait til you see what’s coming down the pike
November 30, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Wait til you see what’s coming down the pike
Reposted by Hawk Gates
newskies will be punished!
November 14, 2024 at 7:39 PM
newskies will be punished!
I call her Taylor Shift because she shifted our idea of who could get engaged to a State Farm pitchperson
November 30, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I call her Taylor Shift because she shifted our idea of who could get engaged to a State Farm pitchperson
Strapping sponges to the bottom of my feet to clean up my sister in law’s kitchen after the thanksgiving meal
November 30, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Strapping sponges to the bottom of my feet to clean up my sister in law’s kitchen after the thanksgiving meal
Reposted by Hawk Gates
@sunchips thank you for new silent bag it makes it much easier for me to focus on my reveries
May 22, 2025 at 4:38 AM
@sunchips thank you for new silent bag it makes it much easier for me to focus on my reveries
Reposted by Hawk Gates
I just read a lie on here that a long time mutual posted. Reminding everyone to please play nicely when posting online, or I will not hesitate to call the police and recommend they be prepared for lethal force.
November 30, 2025 at 12:06 AM
I just read a lie on here that a long time mutual posted. Reminding everyone to please play nicely when posting online, or I will not hesitate to call the police and recommend they be prepared for lethal force.
I don’t think muckety mucks should be in charge of anything
November 30, 2025 at 6:03 PM
I don’t think muckety mucks should be in charge of anything
“I was born on Trumpuary 28.” See, it doesn’t sound that bad.
November 30, 2025 at 5:56 PM
“I was born on Trumpuary 28.” See, it doesn’t sound that bad.