Gene Weingarten
@geneweingarten.bsky.social
Former Wapo humor columnist, current writer, cartoonist, and misanthrope.
Take the quiz.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-fourte...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-fourte...
The Fourteen Points: Words Smart People Misuse
Hello.
geneweingarten.substack.com
December 6, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Take the quiz.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-fourte...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-fourte...
The Man Who Cannot Laugh at Himself.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/its-fawnin...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/its-fawnin...
It's Fawning In America.
Many great figures in history leave slogans by which they are known.
geneweingarten.substack.com
December 5, 2025 at 5:33 PM
The Man Who Cannot Laugh at Himself.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/its-fawnin...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/its-fawnin...
Poems about poems. These results are extraordinary.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
The Invitational Week 153: Can You Just Imagine?
Tell us some events that 'happened' next year. Plus funny poems about other poems.
geneweingarten.substack.com
December 4, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Poems about poems. These results are extraordinary.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
This is delicious.
The Pentagon reporters who have been kicked out of the building continue to break huge stories every day while the right-wing New Media continue to post selfies of themselves hanging out in the Pentagon.
December 2, 2025 at 7:36 PM
This is delicious.
I repeat: This is the only story in America, period.
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This Is Completely Insane. (No, Really.)
Two dramatic, related things occurred overnight.
geneweingarten.substack.com
December 2, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I repeat: This is the only story in America, period.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-is-co...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-is-co...
This is elegantly succinct.
November 30, 2025 at 6:38 PM
This is elegantly succinct.
Exactly right.
They’re simultaneously arguing that soldiers have to follow all orders from the president, legal or not, but they get to ignore orders from a federal judge if they feel they’re not legal.
KARL: Did you know about the judge's order when you issued your order for the planes to continue?
KRISTI NOEM: This is an activist judge. We comply with all federal orders that are lawful and binding.
KRISTI NOEM: This is an activist judge. We comply with all federal orders that are lawful and binding.
November 30, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Exactly right.
Deathly Prose
: I killed someone yesterday.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Repeating the headline: I didn't write this. Please read it.
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I Didn't Write This. Please Read It.
I first met Peter Richmond in the mid-1980s, when I was the editor of Tropic magazine, the Sunday magazine of The Miami Herald.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 26, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Repeating the headline: I didn't write this. Please read it.
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Is For You. Is to Read Now.
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Scoop: U.S. America Treaty to End War of Ukrainian Agression On Russia Is for You Now to Read Here
The Gene Pool has just now exclusively obtained the first page of the draft copy of the proposed tripartite U.S.-engineered peace accord aimed at ending the nearly four-year-old war between Russia and...
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Is For You. Is to Read Now.
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This is one of my most interesting columns. It happened by accident.
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A Hiccup of Memory
Welcome to the Weekend Gene Pool, where I entertain you and in return, you send me humiliating personal anecdotes on a subject of my choosing.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 1:06 PM
This is one of my most interesting columns. It happened by accident.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/a-hiccup-o...
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He EATS hate. Then poops it out. So did others before him.
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The Madness of King Gorge
Currently starved of his delusion that he is still adored and respected by the masses and still impervious to legislative and judicial control, Donald Trump — fearful and, as always, angry — has been ...
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 11:20 PM
He EATS hate. Then poops it out. So did others before him.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-madnes...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-madnes...
Ross Douthat: "Can right-wing post-liberalism, variously associated with nationalists and populists, Catholic integralists and Nietzschean vitalists, Trumpist think tanks and JD Vance, be held responsible for Groyperism or any other toxic tendency on the contemporary right." ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
November 18, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Ross Douthat: "Can right-wing post-liberalism, variously associated with nationalists and populists, Catholic integralists and Nietzschean vitalists, Trumpist think tanks and JD Vance, be held responsible for Groyperism or any other toxic tendency on the contemporary right." ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Well, This Thing Happened.
Behold the shortest Gene Pool ever.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 18, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Appointing RFK Jr. secretary of HHS is like appointing, as Transportation Secretary, some person who only travels by pogo stick.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/eat-it-8d2
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/eat-it-8d2
Eat It.
Let’s take a break today from presidential politics, from political perfidy, from pedophilia. Let’s find a safe space, just for a day.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 18, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Appointing RFK Jr. secretary of HHS is like appointing, as Transportation Secretary, some person who only travels by pogo stick.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/eat-it-8d2
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/eat-it-8d2
Christopher Walken is Jon Voight. Pass it on.
November 16, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Christopher Walken is Jon Voight. Pass it on.
The Teapot Noem® Affair
Welcome to the Weekend Gene Pool. You know the drill.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 15, 2025 at 4:31 PM
A must read for anyone who is, or dreams of being, a journalist.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
Every Reporter's Nightmare
Today I am going to tell you about a dream I just had.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:01 PM
A must read for anyone who is, or dreams of being, a journalist.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/every-repo...
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“The president’s gone mad.” “Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night” “Hmm, say, that’s too bad!
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His Schmuckiest, Most Unbalanced Idea Ever. (So Far.)
Let us consider, for a moment, the latest bit of senile megalomaniacal lunacy to issue from the offices of the president of the United States.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 12, 2025 at 9:26 PM
“The president’s gone mad.” “Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night” “Hmm, say, that’s too bad!
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/his-schmuc...
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Here's the latest headline on the homepage of The Washington Post, the newspaper that feels copy editors are mostly inessential: "These coffee shops prided their role as community hubs. Then tariffs hit."
November 11, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Here's the latest headline on the homepage of The Washington Post, the newspaper that feels copy editors are mostly inessential: "These coffee shops prided their role as community hubs. Then tariffs hit."
Anne Frank as covered by Frank Zappa.
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"Anne Frank’s Story Retold as an Intersectional, Multiethnic, Genderqueer, Decolonized, Anti-capitalist, Hyper-empowering Afro-Latin Hip-hop Musical"
Hello.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Anne Frank as covered by Frank Zappa.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/anne-frank...
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The Apple Has Rotted.
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The Impending Death of New York City
— Greetings from New York.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 9, 2025 at 2:04 PM
The Apple Has Rotted.
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So, this is funny. But I mean it.
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Warning: No Pipe Dreams.
Hello!
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 5, 2025 at 5:24 PM
So, this is funny. But I mean it.
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My eulogy. Sort of.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
Sorry, Dick.
A eulogy apology.
geneweingarten.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 7:07 PM
My eulogy. Sort of.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick