Global Tetrahedron
LightNews LightNews
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Global Tetrahedron
@globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
17K followers 2 following 10 posts
Global Tetrahedron was born of the shadows, and it is committed to control in all its forms. Parent company of The Onion.

Posts Replies Media Videos
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Global Tetrahedron Commends Pharma Giant BTH On Their Commitment To Profit At Any Cost, Human or Otherwise. Watch @the-toxic-avenger.bsky.social, uncut only in theaters Friday 8.29. #toxicavenger #partner #ad
while turning the sleepy town of St. Roma's Village into an exciting destination filled with unique biodiversity. If a few two-headed sheep are the price we must pay for such innovation, it is a bargain. But BTH is not just an innovator in pharmaceuticals-they are also pushing forward employee policies that must immediately be taught in our nation's gilded business schools. Our own horde of HR drones is already hard at work implementing BTH's labyrinthine health insurance system for Global Tetrahedron employees, and we are currently combing through applications to hire a local gang of maniacal thugs to deal with disgruntled employees. These are the kinds of outside-the-box business solutions we need. We here at Global Tetrahedron raise a glass of completely normal and safe-to-drink water to you, BTH. May your share price shoot ever higher. The Toxic Avenger Unrated Uncut Only In Theaters 8.29 Buy Tickets Now
August 27, 2025 at 7:32 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Global Tetrahedron Commends Pharma Giant BTH On Their Commitment To Profit At Any Cost, Human or Otherwise. Watch @toxicavenger, uncut only in theaters Friday 8.29. #toxicavenger #partner #ad
Global Tetrahedron Commends Pharma Giant BTH On THeir Commitment To Profit At Any Cost, Human Or Otherwise Business titans today too rarely congratulate their peers on their work, but as leaders in both the money-hoarding sector and the employee misery sector, we at Global Tetrahedron LLC believe it is our duty to celebrate those working to make the world a better place for CEOs. By skirting safety regulations and pushing for profits at any cost, BTH and their visionary CEO Robert Garbinger have blazed a brave new path for multinational conglomerates everywhere. BTH knows the importance of understanding their customer and exploiting them for all they're worth. Their toxic dumping system is a model in this field, creating both new customers and new bio-boosters at the same time-all
August 27, 2025 at 7:32 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Össur Þorsteinsson - This 1,200-year-old glacier has held a seat on the board since the Dark Ages.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Össur Þorsteinsson - This 1,200-year-old glacier has held a seat on the board since the Dark Ages.
December 3, 2024 at 8:14 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Keith Raniere - Keith brings a wealth of experience to Global Tetrahedron’s board from his 21 years at NXIVM.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Keith Raniere - Keith brings a wealth of experience to Global Tetrahedron’s board from his 21 years at NXIVM.
December 2, 2024 at 8:14 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Lloyd R. Windom, Chief Transformation Officer, was inspired to pursue a career in business after taking part in the Milgram experiment in 1961 and falling in love with leadership.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Lloyd R. Windom, Chief Transformation Officer, was inspired to pursue a career in business after taking part in the Milgram experiment in 1961 and falling in love with leadership.
November 26, 2024 at 8:18 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

The Abomination is currently sealed in a cryogenic chamber in Global Tetrahedron’s boardroom, where it serves as head of marketing.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: The Abomination is currently sealed in a cryogenic chamber in Global Tetrahedron’s boardroom, where it serves as head of marketing.
November 25, 2024 at 8:17 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Nathan Wentworth VIII - Born in Greenwich, CT, Nathan graduated summa cum laude from Harvard University before overseeing the Rwandan genocide.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Nathan Wentworth VIII - Born in Greenwich, CT, Nathan graduated summa cum laude from Harvard University before overseeing the Rwandan genocide.
November 22, 2024 at 8:25 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Liam Shepherd: This was a Make-A-Wish thing.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Liam Shepherd: This was a Make-A-Wish thing.
November 21, 2024 at 8:22 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Crisp $100 Bill - A preeminent figure in the world of business and finance. Global Tetrahedron is honored to have Mr. Franklin on board.
Crisp $100 Bill -Global Tetrahedron
November 20, 2024 at 8:24 PM
globaltetrahedron.bsky.social
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron:

Bryce Tetraeder - The CEO, chairman, media proprietor, entrepreneur, human trafficker, thought leader, and venture capitalist responsible for overseeing Global Tetrahedron’s transition from a mere multinational conglomerate into a truly interglobal empire.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Bryce Tetraeder - The CEO, chairman, media proprietor, entrepreneur, human trafficker, thought leader, and venture capitalist responsible for overseeing Global Tetrahedron’s transition from a mere multinational conglomerate into a truly interglobal empire.
November 19, 2024 at 9:58 PM