greatbiglizard
@greatbiglizard.bsky.social
Boring. Sanctimonious. Still not a lizard
Reposted by greatbiglizard
you: please act normal Ed, you need these people to like you
people: hello Ed nice to meet you
me: Partridges are ground-dwelling and rarely found in trees. “A partridge in a pear tree” is a pun on the French word for a partridge, “perdrix.”
people: hello Ed nice to meet you
me: Partridges are ground-dwelling and rarely found in trees. “A partridge in a pear tree” is a pun on the French word for a partridge, “perdrix.”
November 29, 2025 at 1:28 PM
you: please act normal Ed, you need these people to like you
people: hello Ed nice to meet you
me: Partridges are ground-dwelling and rarely found in trees. “A partridge in a pear tree” is a pun on the French word for a partridge, “perdrix.”
people: hello Ed nice to meet you
me: Partridges are ground-dwelling and rarely found in trees. “A partridge in a pear tree” is a pun on the French word for a partridge, “perdrix.”
Reposted by greatbiglizard
They’ll have left a trail to follow
November 27, 2025 at 10:11 PM
They’ll have left a trail to follow
So anyway, I know Thames Water are awful and everything, but I feel duty-bound to share any glimmer of good news that passes my way in these turgid times so here goes: 1/x
November 27, 2025 at 6:39 PM
So anyway, I know Thames Water are awful and everything, but I feel duty-bound to share any glimmer of good news that passes my way in these turgid times so here goes: 1/x
Reposted by greatbiglizard
one of my tiktok followers made this
April 8, 2025 at 5:20 PM
one of my tiktok followers made this
Reposted by greatbiglizard
I once knew a Federal bank examiner, and one time someone asked him why we had to KEEP inspecting banks over and over. He basically said every new batch of business school grads invents bank fraud from first principles.
AirBnB CEO calling it “vibe revenue” just 👨🍳 😘
The underlying cause of every bubble - debt masquerading as financial innovation - depends on not just short financial memory & speculative neophytism, but reinventing jargon of finance, like how each generation of kids has new ways to say same things.
The underlying cause of every bubble - debt masquerading as financial innovation - depends on not just short financial memory & speculative neophytism, but reinventing jargon of finance, like how each generation of kids has new ways to say same things.
November 22, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I once knew a Federal bank examiner, and one time someone asked him why we had to KEEP inspecting banks over and over. He basically said every new batch of business school grads invents bank fraud from first principles.
My fellow novelty seasonal food afficionados should know that the Gail's Turkey and Ham "Hand Pie" (pasty) is an absolute banger.
November 14, 2025 at 6:09 PM
My fellow novelty seasonal food afficionados should know that the Gail's Turkey and Ham "Hand Pie" (pasty) is an absolute banger.
Reposted by greatbiglizard
if I dated Lily Allen I simply would be a good partner to her and not get a mean song written about me
November 8, 2025 at 2:04 AM
if I dated Lily Allen I simply would be a good partner to her and not get a mean song written about me
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Finally, they’ve done it. The smuggest show ever made.
November 4, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Finally, they’ve done it. The smuggest show ever made.
Reposted by greatbiglizard
![american indie developer deciding on a setting: in a cozy mountain town surrounded by wholesome yokai, ghibli inspired cooperative sustainable cherry blossoms and you can pet the dog
french indie developer deciding on a setting: in a world where the gestalt misery of colonisation's victims has manifested into a sort of misery elemental, three church-like religious organisations hav[nine more paragraphs that leave you feeling like you know less than you knew before you started reading]
polish indie developer deciding on a setting: warsaw👍🇵🇱 it is very bad](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:bd5w6iipngycpaldvydcslbd/bafkreifwfovv2nzqcjd2cygzz5a6xqmqrcjclghyc37haz5rwygbg2krsa@jpeg)
Reposted by greatbiglizard
just one hit bro, i just need to level out bro
October 31, 2025 at 5:59 PM
just one hit bro, i just need to level out bro
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Remember the veil between the dead and the living is at its thinnest tonight so it’s your perfect opportunity to call Cilla Black a cunt.
October 31, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Remember the veil between the dead and the living is at its thinnest tonight so it’s your perfect opportunity to call Cilla Black a cunt.
Reposted by greatbiglizard
cop: did he send any texts around the time of the crash?
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
October 31, 2025 at 2:51 AM
cop: did he send any texts around the time of the crash?
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Happy 34th Birthday HTML tags!
On October 29, 1991, the internet pioneer, Tim Berners-Lee, published a document entitled HTML Tags.
#WebDesignHistory
On October 29, 1991, the internet pioneer, Tim Berners-Lee, published a document entitled HTML Tags.
#WebDesignHistory
October 29, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Happy 34th Birthday HTML tags!
On October 29, 1991, the internet pioneer, Tim Berners-Lee, published a document entitled HTML Tags.
#WebDesignHistory
On October 29, 1991, the internet pioneer, Tim Berners-Lee, published a document entitled HTML Tags.
#WebDesignHistory
Reposted by greatbiglizard
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism.
If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed.
If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed.
October 29, 2025 at 6:50 PM
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism.
If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed.
If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed.
Reposted by greatbiglizard
"You left Europe because you wanted less boats, you have more boats. You left Europe because you wanted more investment. You have less investment."
Prime Minister Edi Rama of Albania on the UK's decision to leave the European Union.
Watch in full ➡️ bit.ly/4qkZnS0
Prime Minister Edi Rama of Albania on the UK's decision to leave the European Union.
Watch in full ➡️ bit.ly/4qkZnS0
October 25, 2025 at 8:00 AM
"You left Europe because you wanted less boats, you have more boats. You left Europe because you wanted more investment. You have less investment."
Prime Minister Edi Rama of Albania on the UK's decision to leave the European Union.
Watch in full ➡️ bit.ly/4qkZnS0
Prime Minister Edi Rama of Albania on the UK's decision to leave the European Union.
Watch in full ➡️ bit.ly/4qkZnS0
Reposted by greatbiglizard
D'accord mais est-ce qu'il a fermé ses fenêtres ?
🔴 URGENT - Le musée du Louvre rouvre ses portes aux visiteurs après le vol de bijoux
Vol de bijoux au Louvre : le musée rouvre ses portes, sa directrice entendue au Sénat
Silencieuse depuis dimanche, la présidente-directrice du Louvre, Laurence des Cars, est entendue mercredi au Sénat pour tenter d'expliquer comment des cambrioleurs ont pu voler des joyaux dans le musée…
f24.my
October 22, 2025 at 7:07 AM
D'accord mais est-ce qu'il a fermé ses fenêtres ?
Are you a man aged between 35 and 55 years old? Do you live in the south of England and fancy you used to be a bit of a geezer? If so, why not wear a fucking flat cap?
October 22, 2025 at 7:20 AM
Are you a man aged between 35 and 55 years old? Do you live in the south of England and fancy you used to be a bit of a geezer? If so, why not wear a fucking flat cap?
Reposted by greatbiglizard
"what's this? oh yeah another fucking flower. i'm so tired of this bullshit. fuckin flowers day in day out. flowers and nectar. i've had it up to here with nectar"
Cross-pollination
Cross-pollination
October 21, 2025 at 9:38 PM
"what's this? oh yeah another fucking flower. i'm so tired of this bullshit. fuckin flowers day in day out. flowers and nectar. i've had it up to here with nectar"
Cross-pollination
Cross-pollination
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
October 21, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
If you're looking for a low peril, child-friendly water ride, it's flumescrolling
If you're browsing for holidays in the West Country it's Fromescrolling
If you're looking at witches it's Broomscrolling
October 21, 2025 at 9:36 PM
If you're looking for a low peril, child-friendly water ride, it's flumescrolling
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Paul Hollywood: what we're looking for from the contestants this week is a beautifully precise assassination - a bloodless kill, and a flawless cleanup
Prue Leith: they're going to have to be really careful about DNA evidence. we don't want any traces left at the scene
PH: a completely clean room
Prue Leith: they're going to have to be really careful about DNA evidence. we don't want any traces left at the scene
PH: a completely clean room
October 21, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Paul Hollywood: what we're looking for from the contestants this week is a beautifully precise assassination - a bloodless kill, and a flawless cleanup
Prue Leith: they're going to have to be really careful about DNA evidence. we don't want any traces left at the scene
PH: a completely clean room
Prue Leith: they're going to have to be really careful about DNA evidence. we don't want any traces left at the scene
PH: a completely clean room
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Day after day of essentially nothing weather. Not a glimmer of warmth from the sun but it's not actually cold and the sky is so bland a grey it's just absent like a gap in a child's drawing above the greenish grass and it never rains there's no breeze there's no movement nothing. Do I need a jacket.
October 17, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Day after day of essentially nothing weather. Not a glimmer of warmth from the sun but it's not actually cold and the sky is so bland a grey it's just absent like a gap in a child's drawing above the greenish grass and it never rains there's no breeze there's no movement nothing. Do I need a jacket.
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Theory: Something terrible happened to the deep-voiced guy who used to do the voice overs for movie trailers, and he can now only communicate by pressing a single key on a piano.
October 15, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Theory: Something terrible happened to the deep-voiced guy who used to do the voice overs for movie trailers, and he can now only communicate by pressing a single key on a piano.
Reposted by greatbiglizard
Performatively reading in the cafe, but wearing white gloves so I'm still venerating the Book As Object, with a t-shirt saying "I know archivists don't wear gloves" so people know the gloves are performative.
October 14, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Performatively reading in the cafe, but wearing white gloves so I'm still venerating the Book As Object, with a t-shirt saying "I know archivists don't wear gloves" so people know the gloves are performative.