John Lawson
guiromelans.bsky.social
John Lawson
@guiromelans.bsky.social
I make stupid jokes to mask my anxiety
Young person seeks approval from social collective by performing ritualistic rite of passage. The power of friendship ensues.

In the run up of this movie, the collective neckbeards criticized it for having bad effects, monster design, and a female protag. Happy to say none of that was an issue.
Predator: Badlands (2025) ⭐ 7.6 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
1h 47m | PG-13
www.imdb.com
November 12, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Wednesday is French Dip Day. "Dip", the French word for "rubber ducky". It's World Pneumonia Day, but a little chicken soup will clear that right up. Which is why it's also Chicken Soup for the Soul Day.
November 12, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Tuesday is Air Day. Fire, Earth, and Water don't approve. It's Metal Day. Animal, plant, and mineral don't approve. It's Turn It Up to Eleven Day. The Demogorgon doesn't approve.
November 11, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Girl becomes drug addict, claims she's possessed. Twelve steps don't ensue.

I liked the drug treatment facility angle, at least until she gets kicked out. Then it becomes a typical demon possession story.

Like many "found footage", it forgets itself and uses sound stingers and music effects.
Inner Demons (2014) ⭐ 5.2 | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
1h 25m | Not Rated
www.imdb.com
November 10, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Freshly graduated sorority sisters just want to party, commit murder to ensure it. Double secret probation ensues.

Kind of boring. The story doesn't really make sense. House mom had an evil, mutant son? Who comes home once a year? And he gets stabby when the girls kill his mom.
The House on Sorority Row (1982) ⭐ 5.9 | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
1h 31m | R
www.imdb.com
November 10, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Monday is World Orphans Day. Wow, Batman's really upset. On the other hand, it's also Look on the Bright Side of Life Day.
November 10, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Sunday is Orphan Sunday. Batman doesn't approve. In El Salvador, it's Pupusa Day, which is something a caterpillar turns into or something, I dunno. It's World Freedom Day. That won't last long. And it's British Pudding Day. Eating your meat approves.
November 9, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Saturday is Wine Tourism Day. Ugh, that sounds insufferably obnoxious. It's Ample Time Day because why hurry? It's Parents as Teachers Day, which is why my kids are on detention. Because it's also Dunce Day.
November 8, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Competition for prom queen gets a little intense. Mean girls ensue.

Not much happens in the first 3/4. Just kids living lives and pecking orders. Then the ghost possesses girl, and she starts killing people. She wins prom queen but is still pissed off, so not sure what her beef is.
Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987) ⭐ 5.8 | Horror, Thriller
1h 37m | R
www.imdb.com
November 7, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Gang of criminals seem to kill everyone they meet. Run into plant zombies? Then run into hairless werewolf hillbillies? Inevitable betrayals ensue.

Kudos for trying to do something more than just basic zombies vs werewolves. But tried to pack in way too much world building, and told it poorly.
A Hard Place (2025) ⭐ 6.7 | Action, Horror, Thriller
1h 28m
www.imdb.com
November 7, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Frat pledge is pressured to lose virginity at mixer. Serious consent issues ensue.

The violence is so over-the-top, it feels like it's trying to be a comedy. But it's not. It's not funny at all. It's slapstick violence in a very serious way.

www.imdb.com/title/tt9680...
Guys at Parties Like It (2024) ⭐ 4.0 | Drama, Horror, Thriller
1h 19m
www.imdb.com
November 7, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Friday is Jersey Friday. Definitely not the new kind tho. It's Love Your Lawyer Day, but only if you can afford it. It's Canine Lymphoma Awareness Day. That's sad. :( It's Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day. That's less sad.
And it's Hug a Bear Day.
November 7, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Quirk-cute sad girl gets dumped. Starts to spiral in a serious way, hearing God. Mixed messages ensue.

How is this a comedy? Where was the funny. The dog dies. She fucking POISONS it with chocolate!

At least it wasn't all in her head, although the ending was a bit strange.

3 stars.
The God Inside My Ear (2017) ⭐ 4.8 | Comedy, Drama, Horror
1h 37m
www.imdb.com
November 6, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Thursday is Liberian Thanksgiving. In Liberia, men make dinner, because it's also Men Make Dinner Day. And it always begins with stout, because it's International Stout Day. And it's Nachos Day.
November 6, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Budget Vincent Price dies. Horror fans steal corpse and party. Cranky, budget, zombie Vincent Price ensues.

He was very cranky.

Had a lot going for it. Camp, niche actors, but it felt very vanilla. Used the lightsaber activation noise for spooky stinger.

www.imdb.com/title/tt0083...
Frightmare (1983) ⭐ 4.7 | Comedy, Drama, Horror
1h 26m | R
www.imdb.com
November 5, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Diverse group volunteers for vague medical study in remote facility, because that always turns out well. Rage zombies ensue.

Based on actual medical study (no zombies, just deaths).

Doesn't really bring anything new. The effective storytelling is in the interactions of the characters.
The Facility (2012) ⭐ 4.8 | Horror
1h 19m | TV-MA
www.imdb.com
November 5, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Wednesday is International Stress Awareness Day, because there are few things more internationally stressful than the day after America's election day. It's Doughnut Appreciation Day, because I really do. And it's Eat Smart Day, because I appreciate doughnuts.
November 5, 2025 at 3:42 AM
New Yorkers' new apartment is too good to be true. Rent control ensues.

Very "Airplane" style humor. And it mostly works.
"The previous tenants were murdered and buried in the garden..."
"Wait, this place has a GARDEN???"

www.imdb.com/title/tt2777...
Evil Sublet (2023) ⭐ 5.1 | Comedy, Horror
1h 45m
www.imdb.com
November 4, 2025 at 8:30 PM
War hero tough guy (irrelevant) framed for murder, sent to death row. Mad scientist turns inmates into zombies. Pretty miserable boredom ensues.

I hardly watched it, but I still completely understood what was going on.

www.imdb.com/title/tt0127...
Death House (1988) ⭐ 4.2 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
1h 30m | Not Rated
www.imdb.com
November 4, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Young deacon returns to home parish. Everything gets worse. Is he a saint? Is he a demon? Yes ensues.

Very grim, dark story. It's never made clear what his nature, motive, or goals ultimately are. There's murders, pedophiles, cannibals, druggies, demons, whatever. And he's some of them.
Deacon (2018) ⭐ 4.3 | Drama, Horror, Mystery
2h 12m
www.imdb.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Tuesday is Skeptics Day International, which only happens on the first Friday the 13th and Election Day. Reasons. It's Chicken Lady Day. Squish your head. It's Waiting for the Barbarians Day. Spoiler: They're already in charge. It's Use Your Common Sense Day. Too late.
November 4, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Partying teens break down in remote woods, tell scary stories around campfire. Pretty great spookies ensue.

Great to see relatively famous actors in their younger roles.

"The Hook": Great, retro black and white retelling of urban legend.
"The Honeymoon": Fair werewolf story.
Campfire Tales (1997) ⭐ 5.8 | Horror, Mystery
1h 28m | R
www.imdb.com
November 3, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Monday is Job Action Day. Just ask ChatGPT to do it. It's Broadcast Traffic Professionals Day. Les Nessman approves. It's Give Someone a Dollar Today Day. Oh, what a cliché. That's why it's also Cliché Day. And it's Jelly Fish Day.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfLT...
The Jellyfish Song
YouTube video by Caroline Konstnar - Archive
www.youtube.com
November 3, 2025 at 3:38 AM
November 2, 2025 at 3:28 AM