mr coffee
@i.n33d.coffee
he who drinketh the last drop, maketh the next pot
greatest hits: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rlzyizcmx4pk3bnxe5ozg7mf/feed/aaadtsoleyuja
discography: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rlzyizcmx4pk3bnxe5ozg7mf/feed/aaapcp3poqzim
greatest hits: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rlzyizcmx4pk3bnxe5ozg7mf/feed/aaadtsoleyuja
discography: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rlzyizcmx4pk3bnxe5ozg7mf/feed/aaapcp3poqzim
Pinned
mr coffee
@i.n33d.coffee
· Jun 27
But seriously, what’s with those people that make coffee, like, their WHOLE personality?!
When that dog in Bluey was asked if he had a phone and was like, “I had one, but people just kept ringing it,” I wish I could “felt that.”
December 1, 2025 at 2:43 AM
When that dog in Bluey was asked if he had a phone and was like, “I had one, but people just kept ringing it,” I wish I could “felt that.”
Reposted by mr coffee
Turns out you can get married in Vegas no matter how drunk you are.
November 28, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Turns out you can get married in Vegas no matter how drunk you are.
Y’all should really invite me to your thanksgiving. I don’t mean to “toot my own horn” but I am VERY good at offering to help.
November 27, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Y’all should really invite me to your thanksgiving. I don’t mean to “toot my own horn” but I am VERY good at offering to help.
Reposted by mr coffee
When the Beatles performed Please Please Me in Liverpool, the girls in the first three rows cried because they knew the band had made it, they didn’t belong to them anymore.
November 27, 2025 at 11:18 PM
When the Beatles performed Please Please Me in Liverpool, the girls in the first three rows cried because they knew the band had made it, they didn’t belong to them anymore.
Ok, but what are the rest of you going to drink?
November 27, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Ok, but what are the rest of you going to drink?
Reposted by mr coffee
I punched up thanksgiving by somehow managing to stuff the stuffing with even more stuffing
November 27, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I punched up thanksgiving by somehow managing to stuff the stuffing with even more stuffing
Reposted by mr coffee
turkey’s in the oven, table’s set
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
November 27, 2025 at 6:10 PM
turkey’s in the oven, table’s set
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
Reposted by mr coffee
Happy Thankmeforgiving!!
November 27, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Happy Thankmeforgiving!!
Reposted by mr coffee
I have heard the annual recitation of Alice's Restaurant
NOW you motherfuckers may begin your Christmas festivities
NOW you motherfuckers may begin your Christmas festivities
November 27, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I have heard the annual recitation of Alice's Restaurant
NOW you motherfuckers may begin your Christmas festivities
NOW you motherfuckers may begin your Christmas festivities
Reposted by mr coffee
finished my Turkey. What’s for Christmas?
November 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
finished my Turkey. What’s for Christmas?
Reposted by mr coffee
just got a text from future me telling me to put the forking fork down
November 27, 2025 at 5:31 PM
just got a text from future me telling me to put the forking fork down
Reposted by mr coffee
i showed you my casserole please respond
November 27, 2025 at 5:37 PM
i showed you my casserole please respond
Reposted by mr coffee
is the Death Cab to acquire Cutie or on behalf of Cutie
November 27, 2025 at 5:40 PM
is the Death Cab to acquire Cutie or on behalf of Cutie
Reposted by mr coffee
On days like these, don't you just want to drench yourself in butter, roll around in flour, and bake at 350° sometimes?
November 27, 2025 at 5:43 PM
On days like these, don't you just want to drench yourself in butter, roll around in flour, and bake at 350° sometimes?
Reposted by mr coffee
Telling my nephew Elf on the Shelf isn't returning this year because elections have consequences
November 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Telling my nephew Elf on the Shelf isn't returning this year because elections have consequences
Reposted by mr coffee
There ought to be more secular,
potato-themed holidays.
potato-themed holidays.
November 27, 2025 at 5:54 PM
There ought to be more secular,
potato-themed holidays.
potato-themed holidays.
When you snag a roll off the plate while it’s being passed to someone else, that’s an “en passant croissant” 🥐
November 27, 2025 at 5:45 PM
When you snag a roll off the plate while it’s being passed to someone else, that’s an “en passant croissant” 🥐
Happy thanksgiving, pilgrims!
November 27, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Happy thanksgiving, pilgrims!
Reposted by mr coffee
put your goblerito in your ass
November 27, 2025 at 1:50 PM
put your goblerito in your ass
Reposted by mr coffee
The guy who invented the word ‘gobble’ should be allowed to invent more things
November 27, 2025 at 1:44 PM
The guy who invented the word ‘gobble’ should be allowed to invent more things
Reposted by mr coffee
Suppressing Enemy Fire, Charlie Brown
November 27, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Suppressing Enemy Fire, Charlie Brown
Reposted by mr coffee
TURKEY: *slowly opens fist to reveal black rock*
TURKEY ELDER: Why- you’ve won the lottery child! You’ll soon ascend from your troubles and worries, chosen one. Praise Be To Gobbler!
TURKEY CONGREGATION: PRAISE GOBBLER
TURKEY ELDER: Why- you’ve won the lottery child! You’ll soon ascend from your troubles and worries, chosen one. Praise Be To Gobbler!
TURKEY CONGREGATION: PRAISE GOBBLER
November 27, 2025 at 2:00 PM
TURKEY: *slowly opens fist to reveal black rock*
TURKEY ELDER: Why- you’ve won the lottery child! You’ll soon ascend from your troubles and worries, chosen one. Praise Be To Gobbler!
TURKEY CONGREGATION: PRAISE GOBBLER
TURKEY ELDER: Why- you’ve won the lottery child! You’ll soon ascend from your troubles and worries, chosen one. Praise Be To Gobbler!
TURKEY CONGREGATION: PRAISE GOBBLER
Reposted by mr coffee
If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
If you assume that I am just that stupid then everything I do suddenly makes so much more sense.
Reposted by mr coffee
The first frost. Gary brought the Jack-o’-lantern inside, fed it cranberry sauce and yams, and gently tucked it under the Christmas tree.
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 PM
The first frost. Gary brought the Jack-o’-lantern inside, fed it cranberry sauce and yams, and gently tucked it under the Christmas tree.