Taking prog turns me from regular lesbian into super duper lesbian so I think that also counts as transing my sexuality

Like nothing I experience is especially stressful or worrisome. It's all very low stakes. but imagine if I didn't have any of those thoughts at all. What would a normal brain feel like if I had all that thinking power to use for other stuff?

I ruminate over past mistakes. Not out of guilt, just cause. Sometimes I think about the time I was editing a magazine and I wrote a sentence in a way that was hard to understand. Oh man. That was a bad sentence. Glad we fixed it. Nbd. What a great thought to have at 2 am several times this month.

I constantly ask "what if?" Questions about literally everything. I don't actually care about the answer, but I do have to ask.

Like: What if I meet a new group of people and they hate me? That would be wild. They probably won't. But if they did, I'd probably have to try a different group. Anyway.

People will be like "why are you going to the gym when you just said you were sore and tired?" And I'm like "cause I gotta." And it just makes me look like I'm some kind of really hype fitness nut. But really it's more like I felt the urge and it was just easier to go than it was to fight it off.

But every day of my life is full of these moments. Just constantly. And many times the compulsions are things I like doing anyway so it's fine. But it still feels unfair how much of my life seems to be influenced by my brain telling me to do things instead of me telling my brain.

I have the kind of brain that tells me to use premium gas, to go to the gym, to walk down a nature trail, to pick up litter, or to compliment a stranger.

There's no real consequence if I don't, though, it's just it takes me a moment to think about not doing it.

So I guess it's not that bad.

It's like if they made a game for a psycho gym rat with unusual OCD and an Independence complex who just wants to slash bad guys but has to reluctantly chill out and just have a good time for the sake of it. And I don't like that he did that. Asshole. Who does he think he is making a game like that?

There are no measurable trophies, no scores, and nothing to be the best at. The people you help through quests can't always be helped by you and you don't always get to see how their story ends. You just have to accept that things happen outside your control.

The MC has a constant need to always be improving, ignores burnout, probably has one of the lesser shown forms of OCD, had neglectful/misunderstanding parents, etc.

And she has to learn about herself via seeing someone just like her and healing her own inner child via helping a real life child

Yeahhh exactly! My current earbuds are the Sony Link buds with the hole in the center cause I can't stand when I can't hear what's going on around me. These ones are loud enough to still sound good, but you can still hear what's going on around you. Noise cancelling stresses me out

It's so crazy how you can just forget to charge them and they won't turn on, but then you can just plug in a wire and use them like an old ancient pair of headphones. I didn't know that was still possible. I thought that technology was lost to time.

They cost like $30-40 bucks and they sound pretty decent for a cheap pair of headphones. The future is now.

Like I understand the argument that me saying all gender is drag can be invalidating for people who truly feel they are a specific gender. But I feel like any argument that gender is biological or hormonal or preprogrammed into the brain is invalidating to my lived experience.

I mean, they will eventually turn it into a getting laid thing and ruin the entire experience, but before that, the benefit they get of having an excuse to dress up, do a fancy/fun activity, have vulnerable convos, etc., when do they get that otherwise?

Like no wonder men are so upset that women aren't going on dates with them. Maybe dates are the only time they can make an excuse to go out with people and have a silly happy time. Guys don't usually do that kind of stuff together. So maybe dates aren't just about getting laid for them?