J. Artemis
@jartemis.ink
Sociologist, PNW, unfinished MDiv | 35 | They/Them. Dyspraxic | poetry & nonfiction in Pointed Circle, Alchemy, Bellwether Review | https://www.jartemis.ink/
created a concept with a friend for a parallel 2000s timeline where "Craned" is the top prank show. they get a celebrity to come out of their vacation home each episode and ask them about nearby construction, and suddenly a crane falls onto the house
"you got CRANED"
"you got CRANED"
December 2, 2025 at 8:01 AM
created a concept with a friend for a parallel 2000s timeline where "Craned" is the top prank show. they get a celebrity to come out of their vacation home each episode and ask them about nearby construction, and suddenly a crane falls onto the house
"you got CRANED"
"you got CRANED"
i forget that the celldweller guy is a christian and so released a very earnest, unusually low-key (only some synth screams) cover of What Child Is This? a couple weeks ago.
December 1, 2025 at 8:37 PM
i forget that the celldweller guy is a christian and so released a very earnest, unusually low-key (only some synth screams) cover of What Child Is This? a couple weeks ago.
i would like to read a study on what groups put as their profession on tax forms as said thing gradually develops a profession name. what did podcasters put down in 2011.
December 1, 2025 at 3:54 AM
i would like to read a study on what groups put as their profession on tax forms as said thing gradually develops a profession name. what did podcasters put down in 2011.
fun that all those yale seniors decided to win one fcs playoff game before going off to private equity and ruining the things you like
November 29, 2025 at 10:28 PM
fun that all those yale seniors decided to win one fcs playoff game before going off to private equity and ruining the things you like
december is my five year anniversary of coming out as trans. applauding the short sellers who made a mint off my 94% decline in using "dude" since then
November 29, 2025 at 9:46 PM
december is my five year anniversary of coming out as trans. applauding the short sellers who made a mint off my 94% decline in using "dude" since then
looking at my ROTH individual reddit account wondering if it's worth it to cash my karma in early or wait to avoid penalty
November 29, 2025 at 5:41 AM
looking at my ROTH individual reddit account wondering if it's worth it to cash my karma in early or wait to avoid penalty
[legal service] would like to: -know your gender
[bane voice] well well, i see you've fallen into my little trap, cis-man.
[bane voice] well well, i see you've fallen into my little trap, cis-man.
November 28, 2025 at 11:37 PM
[legal service] would like to: -know your gender
[bane voice] well well, i see you've fallen into my little trap, cis-man.
[bane voice] well well, i see you've fallen into my little trap, cis-man.
some people get important, emotionally resonant advice from their friends. what you get from me is "have you considered rotating your bed ninety degrees"
November 28, 2025 at 11:28 PM
some people get important, emotionally resonant advice from their friends. what you get from me is "have you considered rotating your bed ninety degrees"
waiting for the inevitable god's not dead film that's made almost entirely with AI and the worst of all possible worlds guys can't tolerate even for content
November 27, 2025 at 5:39 AM
waiting for the inevitable god's not dead film that's made almost entirely with AI and the worst of all possible worlds guys can't tolerate even for content
every week on Tidal lets me know another band i have liked for twenty years has rebranded and is doing shitty club music in Portuguese
November 26, 2025 at 6:02 AM
every week on Tidal lets me know another band i have liked for twenty years has rebranded and is doing shitty club music in Portuguese
i'm offended by the rise of the pejorative 'slop' as a long time mixer of multiple trader joe's microwave things together who wasn't trying to create a digital lovecraft being
November 25, 2025 at 11:12 PM
i'm offended by the rise of the pejorative 'slop' as a long time mixer of multiple trader joe's microwave things together who wasn't trying to create a digital lovecraft being
Reposted by J. Artemis
lmao the lawfare is now eating itself
November 25, 2025 at 5:21 AM
lmao the lawfare is now eating itself
there may be a lyft driver upcoming who will take a pretty circuitous route to your destination
The Custom Oregon Plate AHAB was available, but is now reserved. https://dmv2u.oregon.gov/eServices/?link=custom #Oregon #LicensePlate #VanityPlate #OregonPlates #CustomPlate #AHAB
November 20, 2025 at 7:22 PM
there may be a lyft driver upcoming who will take a pretty circuitous route to your destination
potential big day for transgender singaporean oregonians
The Custom Oregon Plate NEO was previously assigned, but is now available for reservation. https://dmv2u.oregon.gov/eServices/?link=custom #Oregon #LicensePlate #VanityPlate #OregonPlates #CustomPlate #NEO
November 20, 2025 at 6:19 AM
potential big day for transgender singaporean oregonians
i'm annoyed that greg proops made a joke on a stand up album two decades ago and yet i still read that something is being sent to the Ninth Circus Court of Appeals every week
November 15, 2025 at 5:19 AM
i'm annoyed that greg proops made a joke on a stand up album two decades ago and yet i still read that something is being sent to the Ninth Circus Court of Appeals every week
zoomers think 9/11 was on a Friday because they heard of all the albums that came out that day
November 15, 2025 at 5:02 AM
zoomers think 9/11 was on a Friday because they heard of all the albums that came out that day
undeciphered: linear A, harappan, this westside portland auto mechanic’s phone number
November 14, 2025 at 6:12 AM
undeciphered: linear A, harappan, this westside portland auto mechanic’s phone number
this personal injury attorney advertising on local tv has three entirely different hairlines between headshot, b-roll, and the talking to camera. extraordinary.
November 14, 2025 at 3:17 AM
this personal injury attorney advertising on local tv has three entirely different hairlines between headshot, b-roll, and the talking to camera. extraordinary.
germans love making synth music that makes you check if your plane ready for takeoff is a boeing or airbus
November 14, 2025 at 2:05 AM
germans love making synth music that makes you check if your plane ready for takeoff is a boeing or airbus
a two star review from the guardian of my Edinburgh Fringe show about portland public transit, J Artemis Gets Off Early said it was ‘bewildering’ and ‘barely funny’
November 14, 2025 at 1:59 AM
a two star review from the guardian of my Edinburgh Fringe show about portland public transit, J Artemis Gets Off Early said it was ‘bewildering’ and ‘barely funny’
i know someone that has a bathroom faucet that if you open up more than 5% it will blast you right in the dick. i'm at the point in the time loop film where i'm learning to dodge it reflexively but i'm not wall-hacking the entire portland downtown
November 14, 2025 at 1:12 AM
i know someone that has a bathroom faucet that if you open up more than 5% it will blast you right in the dick. i'm at the point in the time loop film where i'm learning to dodge it reflexively but i'm not wall-hacking the entire portland downtown
i know promotional copy is what it is, but for once i want to read "THE BROWNING slaps some beats on that chug-chug, their artistic influences are the swirl buttons on a soft serve machine"
November 14, 2025 at 12:48 AM
i know promotional copy is what it is, but for once i want to read "THE BROWNING slaps some beats on that chug-chug, their artistic influences are the swirl buttons on a soft serve machine"
kicking palettes of cash out of a C-130 into central florida as part of a disney state-building process
November 13, 2025 at 10:22 PM
kicking palettes of cash out of a C-130 into central florida as part of a disney state-building process
my low level financial crime is if the person in front of me doesn’t tip on the screen i do a custom for 78% of their purchase
November 13, 2025 at 6:32 PM
my low level financial crime is if the person in front of me doesn’t tip on the screen i do a custom for 78% of their purchase
it's always fun to see which famous people have a tryhard email communication style with their fellow pedophiles
November 13, 2025 at 6:08 AM
it's always fun to see which famous people have a tryhard email communication style with their fellow pedophiles