Jesus and Butthead
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jesus-and-butthead.bsky.social
Jesus and Butthead
@jesus-and-butthead.bsky.social
I work at a record store, I'm a former member of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Rogers, and now I like to stay home and write. Formerly known as DJ Fart Ghost.

Just my brain garbage https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:icwmuvffuts3iaugroxwqjl7/feed/aaajnaptz5uk2
Pinned
Sorry, I'm not going to subscribe to your onlyfans. I don't even subscribe to my mom's.
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I considered learning the saxophone. Then I realized the only thing more tragic than a sad, sixty-two-year-old man is a sad, sixty-two-year-old man forcing his neighbours to listen to him learn "Careless Whisper."
December 7, 2025 at 2:23 PM
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something to the effect of having to put it together… in order to make an Ikea joke
December 6, 2025 at 1:35 AM
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I wonder if Santa still has a cigarette lighter in his sled
December 6, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Don't follow the voices in your head to a second location.
December 6, 2025 at 3:56 AM
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I thought I was having a deja vu but I think I just kept having the same dumb idea
December 6, 2025 at 2:25 AM
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the maintenance, check engine and tire pressure lights came on at the same time so my truck is now in holiday mode
December 5, 2025 at 2:54 PM
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What is truth? Anyone can say anything now and it’s true. I’m Charlton Heston.
December 5, 2025 at 2:21 PM
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didn’t understand why the toothpaste didn’t work until I realized the top was still on the tube in case you’re looking for someone to figure shit out
December 5, 2025 at 1:42 PM
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Cool thing about onboarding younger coworkers is you can do their whole orientation in a Snagglepuss voice. And they have no idea, even!
December 5, 2025 at 3:27 AM
I said something stupid 7 minutes ago. Where were you?
December 4, 2025 at 10:30 PM
They really need to bring hemorrhoid commercials back.
December 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
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got a soda in my stocking from fanta claus
December 3, 2025 at 3:13 PM
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What do you call a retired miner?

Doug.
December 2, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Watching the dog show replay. I just want to make sure I'm watching the day they all turn on their masters.
November 27, 2025 at 10:25 PM
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We need to start a Handsgiving because I’m a handful come on people get it trending
November 27, 2025 at 3:34 PM
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One minute the night before Thanksgiving i’m drinking beer out of a shoe at hometown bar w HS friends the next i’m plucking chin hairs & hoping my gravy won’t be lumpy
November 26, 2025 at 11:27 PM
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People who stand at the dryer to fold their laundry: who hurt you??
November 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
I haven't really posted in awhile. I got to see what Bluesky life would be like if I wasn't around.

It's like George Bailey discovered everyone was better off without him, so he returned out of spite.
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 AM
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Helped my neighbor bury an old rug last night…her boyfriend would have helped her, but he had to go out of town unexpectedly 🤷🏻‍♀️
November 22, 2025 at 2:48 PM
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If I didn’t reply to your comment it’s because it got buried in my notifications

If you didn’t reply to my comment it’s because you hate me
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 AM
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There's gotta be more to life than doom scrolling and working. This just ain't it.
November 21, 2025 at 4:07 AM
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November 21, 2025 at 5:44 AM
If we're not making pennies anymore, what's going to happen to everyone who steals copper wire and pipes for the government?
November 20, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I just realized that I dress a lot like one of the counselors from the original Friday the 13th film.
November 20, 2025 at 5:52 PM
He never called Jeffrey Epstein late at night. He was talking to Jake from State Farm.

It's in the files, you'll see.
November 20, 2025 at 5:23 PM