Julie Sondra Decker
@juliesondra.bsky.social
Novelist, creativity enthusiast, comic scribbler, singer, cartoon nerd, asexuality activist. Author of THE INVISIBLE ORIENTATION. She/her. Not your babysitter.
https://juliesondradecker.com
https://juliesondradecker.com
Right? There's a matching site where I maintain a profile and one of the questions you can answer is to rate your self-confidence. I told the truth and rated mine "very high." When I compare questions, I see a LOT of dudes who also put "very high" but mark my answer unacceptable. GEE I WONDER WHY.
November 29, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Right? There's a matching site where I maintain a profile and one of the questions you can answer is to rate your self-confidence. I told the truth and rated mine "very high." When I compare questions, I see a LOT of dudes who also put "very high" but mark my answer unacceptable. GEE I WONDER WHY.
I've met multiple dudes who saw I was an author and literally assumed I must write romance because I'm a woman.
Him: "Oh, you write? I probably haven't run into anything you've written since I don't really read romance."
Me: "I write science fiction and fantasy."
Him: "But it's romantasy, right?"
Him: "Oh, you write? I probably haven't run into anything you've written since I don't really read romance."
Me: "I write science fiction and fantasy."
Him: "But it's romantasy, right?"
November 28, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I've met multiple dudes who saw I was an author and literally assumed I must write romance because I'm a woman.
Him: "Oh, you write? I probably haven't run into anything you've written since I don't really read romance."
Me: "I write science fiction and fantasy."
Him: "But it's romantasy, right?"
Him: "Oh, you write? I probably haven't run into anything you've written since I don't really read romance."
Me: "I write science fiction and fantasy."
Him: "But it's romantasy, right?"
Dudes: "feeemales don't have REAL hobbies because their brains are incapable of deep thought. Romance books aren't REAL books"
Also dudes: "some CHICK was pretending to have an interest in MY hobby! Bet she can't name 5 of Male Author's books."
(Also, their "hobby" of porn-watching is very highbrow)
Also dudes: "some CHICK was pretending to have an interest in MY hobby! Bet she can't name 5 of Male Author's books."
(Also, their "hobby" of porn-watching is very highbrow)
November 28, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Dudes: "feeemales don't have REAL hobbies because their brains are incapable of deep thought. Romance books aren't REAL books"
Also dudes: "some CHICK was pretending to have an interest in MY hobby! Bet she can't name 5 of Male Author's books."
(Also, their "hobby" of porn-watching is very highbrow)
Also dudes: "some CHICK was pretending to have an interest in MY hobby! Bet she can't name 5 of Male Author's books."
(Also, their "hobby" of porn-watching is very highbrow)
I think you're right. The guy's got this girl pegged for a sensitive sort who will be weighed down with emotions that will plague her forever, but like . . . a dude who's TRYING to do that on purpose to put his MARK on her instantly becomes less (or not at all) effective at it. It's goofy.
November 25, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I think you're right. The guy's got this girl pegged for a sensitive sort who will be weighed down with emotions that will plague her forever, but like . . . a dude who's TRYING to do that on purpose to put his MARK on her instantly becomes less (or not at all) effective at it. It's goofy.
How many of these dudes who call periods disgusting have a funtime sock under their bed
November 24, 2025 at 11:01 PM
How many of these dudes who call periods disgusting have a funtime sock under their bed
I've had a few dudes do the "Trust me, you will look back on this, and you will SEE that I was RIGHT and you will understand that YOU made a MISTAKE" type thing, and like . . . no? Still hasn't happened. I made a video about these dudes once because it's funny.
November 24, 2025 at 10:59 PM
I've had a few dudes do the "Trust me, you will look back on this, and you will SEE that I was RIGHT and you will understand that YOU made a MISTAKE" type thing, and like . . . no? Still hasn't happened. I made a video about these dudes once because it's funny.
I know right!! I've had maybe three guys do something like this. Like, sure, I remember what they said. But not in a "I carry this guilt forever after" sort of way. More like a "wow, remember that weird guy who was so WOUNDED when his humdrum observations weren't life-changing for me? Weird, right?"
November 24, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I know right!! I've had maybe three guys do something like this. Like, sure, I remember what they said. But not in a "I carry this guilt forever after" sort of way. More like a "wow, remember that weird guy who was so WOUNDED when his humdrum observations weren't life-changing for me? Weird, right?"
"I want you to live with that for the rest of your life" OK pookie. Gosh I'll carry it for the Rest Of My Life that whenever your peepee gets hard about a girl, that girl owes you her entire life and all of her attention, and is RESPONSIBLE for your DESPAIR if you go to bed horny. Oh so sad.
November 24, 2025 at 10:55 PM
"I want you to live with that for the rest of your life" OK pookie. Gosh I'll carry it for the Rest Of My Life that whenever your peepee gets hard about a girl, that girl owes you her entire life and all of her attention, and is RESPONSIBLE for your DESPAIR if you go to bed horny. Oh so sad.
I'm appalled by everything here but I have to admit I was distracted by HOW MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PLAID THIS WOMAN IS SOMEHOW WEARING AT ONCE
November 24, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I'm appalled by everything here but I have to admit I was distracted by HOW MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PLAID THIS WOMAN IS SOMEHOW WEARING AT ONCE
But in all seriousness, folks, it's yet another dude who believes "pussy" is a resource that women are hoarding; that they are selfish for not "distributing" it, and that their own love for the boyfriends they chose is utterly irrelevant compared to the desire a random dude has for that woman's box.
November 24, 2025 at 7:20 PM
But in all seriousness, folks, it's yet another dude who believes "pussy" is a resource that women are hoarding; that they are selfish for not "distributing" it, and that their own love for the boyfriends they chose is utterly irrelevant compared to the desire a random dude has for that woman's box.
I'm suddenly starting to think perhaps his plan is not well thought through! Imagine that!
November 24, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I'm suddenly starting to think perhaps his plan is not well thought through! Imagine that!
If, magically, his suggestion were followed and the woman shrugged and said "that makes sense" and lined him up to be next in the pussy distribution line, he would then, by his own definition, be able to "get pussy" and she'd leave for the next one. Gosh I wonder if he'd have a temper tantrum.
November 24, 2025 at 7:18 PM
If, magically, his suggestion were followed and the woman shrugged and said "that makes sense" and lined him up to be next in the pussy distribution line, he would then, by his own definition, be able to "get pussy" and she'd leave for the next one. Gosh I wonder if he'd have a temper tantrum.
Sometimes I wonder if dudes are literally trying to get rid of their competition with "advice" like this. I once read an advice column of terrible ideas for other men, including comparing your dick to her "big" drink or asking her if she's on her period when she's vacuuming (clearly nesting). (???)
November 24, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Sometimes I wonder if dudes are literally trying to get rid of their competition with "advice" like this. I once read an advice column of terrible ideas for other men, including comparing your dick to her "big" drink or asking her if she's on her period when she's vacuuming (clearly nesting). (???)
Meanwhile women everywhere are trying to encourage men to be LESS bold about such things as, oh, I don't know, not interrupting us when we're reading with headphones on public transportation. Opening with STARING and ending with "sweet tits"/charging to her tab being SUCCESSFUL? Yep. Fanfiction.
November 24, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Meanwhile women everywhere are trying to encourage men to be LESS bold about such things as, oh, I don't know, not interrupting us when we're reading with headphones on public transportation. Opening with STARING and ending with "sweet tits"/charging to her tab being SUCCESSFUL? Yep. Fanfiction.
Everybody should be!
November 21, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Everybody should be!
Oh, we're "biologically programmed" to want PIV sex and birth children? If it was such a biological imperative, we wouldn't have mental experiences that allowed/encouraged us to resist it. Think about how awful YOU must be if we avoid you despite supposedly "being made for" what you wish we wanted.
November 20, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Oh, we're "biologically programmed" to want PIV sex and birth children? If it was such a biological imperative, we wouldn't have mental experiences that allowed/encouraged us to resist it. Think about how awful YOU must be if we avoid you despite supposedly "being made for" what you wish we wanted.
Him: "There's so much propaganda teaching people that it's a life goal to remain single and self sufficient! Ugh!"
My aroace ass: PFFFFFFFTTAAHHHHAHAHAHAH
People are brainwashing you to stay single WHERE??
Okay, maybe they're saying YOU should stay single. . . .
My aroace ass: PFFFFFFFTTAAHHHHAHAHAHAH
People are brainwashing you to stay single WHERE??
Okay, maybe they're saying YOU should stay single. . . .
November 18, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Him: "There's so much propaganda teaching people that it's a life goal to remain single and self sufficient! Ugh!"
My aroace ass: PFFFFFFFTTAAHHHHAHAHAHAH
People are brainwashing you to stay single WHERE??
Okay, maybe they're saying YOU should stay single. . . .
My aroace ass: PFFFFFFFTTAAHHHHAHAHAHAH
People are brainwashing you to stay single WHERE??
Okay, maybe they're saying YOU should stay single. . . .
The false equivalence here is BAFFLING. To think a woman who "uses" a male medical professional, in a medical context, is getting some benefit similar to a dude ogling women in a sexual context--you just KNOW this dude thought he was so smart and grinned himself to the internet to tell everyone. Ew.
November 18, 2025 at 9:06 PM
The false equivalence here is BAFFLING. To think a woman who "uses" a male medical professional, in a medical context, is getting some benefit similar to a dude ogling women in a sexual context--you just KNOW this dude thought he was so smart and grinned himself to the internet to tell everyone. Ew.
I know right? I said "you've never heard of scat? How come you're not on PornHub pooping on someone's face for kink audiences? Oh you think it's easy for all women to make content (and should HAVE to instead of complaining), but YOU won't?" Making content is HARD WORK and marketing it is harder.
November 18, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I know right? I said "you've never heard of scat? How come you're not on PornHub pooping on someone's face for kink audiences? Oh you think it's easy for all women to make content (and should HAVE to instead of complaining), but YOU won't?" Making content is HARD WORK and marketing it is harder.
Heh. Not quite the same thing but I had a friend who insisted women should NOT be able to claim benefits because it's impossible for a woman to be poor in the USA due to the fact that "she can be taken in by a man or always has the option to do sex work." wtf
November 16, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Heh. Not quite the same thing but I had a friend who insisted women should NOT be able to claim benefits because it's impossible for a woman to be poor in the USA due to the fact that "she can be taken in by a man or always has the option to do sex work." wtf
Weird how often "solutions" to these supposed problems sound like "everything would be much, much better if we declared everyone other than me second-class citizens who would be forced by circumstance to serve me and my interests, not allowed to have their own. How dare you call me sexist/racist!"
November 14, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Weird how often "solutions" to these supposed problems sound like "everything would be much, much better if we declared everyone other than me second-class citizens who would be forced by circumstance to serve me and my interests, not allowed to have their own. How dare you call me sexist/racist!"
Yep! Cue all the dudes who want to dump historically inaccurate commentary in your inbox about how AcKtychyooallee, in the past if you had entered puberty you were Totally A Woman and HISTORICALLY nobody had a problem with it and evolutionarily we're totally supposed to have sex with little girls.
November 13, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Yep! Cue all the dudes who want to dump historically inaccurate commentary in your inbox about how AcKtychyooallee, in the past if you had entered puberty you were Totally A Woman and HISTORICALLY nobody had a problem with it and evolutionarily we're totally supposed to have sex with little girls.