Jupin's Gems
@jupinsgems.bsky.social
Fan account for @whmpodcast.bsky.social's Andrew @jupinwhm.bsky.social. Quotes delivered to you as soon as sandwichly possible. Run by @rchris.bsky.social. Also: SajdaksSayings and Szyszkas-Screeds
"Kids, just smoke weed. It’s not gonna kill you, and by the time you’re old enough to do it, it’s going to be legal anyway."
-Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
-Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
November 28, 2025 at 9:41 PM
"Kids, just smoke weed. It’s not gonna kill you, and by the time you’re old enough to do it, it’s going to be legal anyway."
-Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
-Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
"Linda Hamilton is like your aunt at Thanksgiving who is like, ‘FINE! I’ll go smoke on the porch!’"
-Terminator: Dark Fate
-Terminator: Dark Fate
November 27, 2025 at 3:16 PM
"Linda Hamilton is like your aunt at Thanksgiving who is like, ‘FINE! I’ll go smoke on the porch!’"
-Terminator: Dark Fate
-Terminator: Dark Fate
"You know what, you can say ‘I think Chris Cabin saw that movie’ about most movies. ‘Oh, you should come over and check out my vacation videos.’ ‘Oh, I think Chris Cabin saw those!’" (Steve)
"Yeah, he gave it a two-star review. Your vacation sucked. ‘You went to...the beach?’"
"Yeah, he gave it a two-star review. Your vacation sucked. ‘You went to...the beach?’"
November 26, 2025 at 6:30 PM
"You know what, you can say ‘I think Chris Cabin saw that movie’ about most movies. ‘Oh, you should come over and check out my vacation videos.’ ‘Oh, I think Chris Cabin saw those!’" (Steve)
"Yeah, he gave it a two-star review. Your vacation sucked. ‘You went to...the beach?’"
"Yeah, he gave it a two-star review. Your vacation sucked. ‘You went to...the beach?’"
"Here’s my question about this Batman: He says Gotham is safe and doesn’t need him anymore. If you succeeded and eliminated crime from Gotham, that’s cool, but why are you a weird shut-in with super-long hair and a Peter Bogdanovich neckerchief?"
-The Flash (live)
-The Flash (live)
November 26, 2025 at 12:59 AM
"Here’s my question about this Batman: He says Gotham is safe and doesn’t need him anymore. If you succeeded and eliminated crime from Gotham, that’s cool, but why are you a weird shut-in with super-long hair and a Peter Bogdanovich neckerchief?"
-The Flash (live)
-The Flash (live)
"She goes to a health spa and gets sexually molested by James Bond." (Steve)
"As was the fashion at the time."
-Never Say Never Again
"As was the fashion at the time."
-Never Say Never Again
November 24, 2025 at 3:00 PM
"She goes to a health spa and gets sexually molested by James Bond." (Steve)
"As was the fashion at the time."
-Never Say Never Again
"As was the fashion at the time."
-Never Say Never Again
"If you didn’t know these dudes were German terrorists, they’d make a really good American hair metal band."
-Die Hard
-Die Hard
November 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM
"If you didn’t know these dudes were German terrorists, they’d make a really good American hair metal band."
-Die Hard
-Die Hard
"Rusty Ryan, Rob Ryan's brother. The third Ryan. It's Rex, Rob, and Rusty." (Steve)
"Yeah, and they all have foot fetishes."
-Ocean's Twelve
"Yeah, and they all have foot fetishes."
-Ocean's Twelve
November 20, 2025 at 7:35 PM
"Rusty Ryan, Rob Ryan's brother. The third Ryan. It's Rex, Rob, and Rusty." (Steve)
"Yeah, and they all have foot fetishes."
-Ocean's Twelve
"Yeah, and they all have foot fetishes."
-Ocean's Twelve
"I remember that about you - you’ve never used Selsun Blue." (Eric)
"I still haven’t. I’ve never had a dandruff problem."
"Wow, little rich boy over there." (Steve)
"Listen - some of my hair might be falling out, but my scalp’s never fallen out."
-Ocean's Twelve
"I still haven’t. I’ve never had a dandruff problem."
"Wow, little rich boy over there." (Steve)
"Listen - some of my hair might be falling out, but my scalp’s never fallen out."
-Ocean's Twelve
November 20, 2025 at 2:51 PM
"I remember that about you - you’ve never used Selsun Blue." (Eric)
"I still haven’t. I’ve never had a dandruff problem."
"Wow, little rich boy over there." (Steve)
"Listen - some of my hair might be falling out, but my scalp’s never fallen out."
-Ocean's Twelve
"I still haven’t. I’ve never had a dandruff problem."
"Wow, little rich boy over there." (Steve)
"Listen - some of my hair might be falling out, but my scalp’s never fallen out."
-Ocean's Twelve
""We’ve been jokingly calling this ‘Thor: Grabass and Cancer,’ but another title for it could be ‘Natalie Portman in a Series of Unfortunate Wigs.’"
-Thor: Love and Thunder
-Thor: Love and Thunder
November 19, 2025 at 8:25 PM
""We’ve been jokingly calling this ‘Thor: Grabass and Cancer,’ but another title for it could be ‘Natalie Portman in a Series of Unfortunate Wigs.’"
-Thor: Love and Thunder
-Thor: Love and Thunder
"As a teenager, my parents built a new house, and my brother, sister, and I were all going to have separate bedrooms. And there was no picking anything - it was like, ‘This is where your little fat ass is going to sleep.’"
-Once in a Lifetime: Killer Under the Bed
-Once in a Lifetime: Killer Under the Bed
November 19, 2025 at 2:07 PM
"As a teenager, my parents built a new house, and my brother, sister, and I were all going to have separate bedrooms. And there was no picking anything - it was like, ‘This is where your little fat ass is going to sleep.’"
-Once in a Lifetime: Killer Under the Bed
-Once in a Lifetime: Killer Under the Bed
"They talked about this ‘soaking’ business, but I think the new thing is jumping on the bed to simulate sex. Also, Eric, can I just point out for once that after 11 years on the air, someone else is explaining a weird sex thing to Steve."
-Stay Alive
-Stay Alive
November 18, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"They talked about this ‘soaking’ business, but I think the new thing is jumping on the bed to simulate sex. Also, Eric, can I just point out for once that after 11 years on the air, someone else is explaining a weird sex thing to Steve."
-Stay Alive
-Stay Alive
"I feel like Lucas and Spielberg went to the Temple of Doom premiere, and were like, ‘So, Nazis again?’" (Steve)
"‘And, by the way, Steven...your wife STINKS in that movie! She’s not coming back, either.’"
-Raiders of the Lost Ark
"‘And, by the way, Steven...your wife STINKS in that movie! She’s not coming back, either.’"
-Raiders of the Lost Ark
a woman in a wedding dress is holding a gorilla head in her hands .
ALT: a woman in a wedding dress is holding a gorilla head in her hands .
media.tenor.com
November 18, 2025 at 2:17 PM
"I feel like Lucas and Spielberg went to the Temple of Doom premiere, and were like, ‘So, Nazis again?’" (Steve)
"‘And, by the way, Steven...your wife STINKS in that movie! She’s not coming back, either.’"
-Raiders of the Lost Ark
"‘And, by the way, Steven...your wife STINKS in that movie! She’s not coming back, either.’"
-Raiders of the Lost Ark
"Steve, LOL to your idea that this kid cares about his schoolwork. Are you fucking kidding me? This has ‘Dropout’ written all over that big forehead."
"It’s an ‘F’ for ‘Forehead.’" (Eric)
-The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
"It’s an ‘F’ for ‘Forehead.’" (Eric)
-The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
November 17, 2025 at 10:49 PM
"Steve, LOL to your idea that this kid cares about his schoolwork. Are you fucking kidding me? This has ‘Dropout’ written all over that big forehead."
"It’s an ‘F’ for ‘Forehead.’" (Eric)
-The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
"It’s an ‘F’ for ‘Forehead.’" (Eric)
-The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
"I love this town, man. The other day I stepped in shit, and I was like, ‘I still love this town.’"
-You've Got Mail
-You've Got Mail
November 17, 2025 at 3:48 PM
"I love this town, man. The other day I stepped in shit, and I was like, ‘I still love this town.’"
-You've Got Mail
-You've Got Mail
"There’s a short story this was based on." (Eric)
"Who wrote that short story? Salman Rushie?" (Chris)
"Definitely; that’s what got him the fucking fatwa."
-Gleep Glossary: Labria
"Who wrote that short story? Salman Rushie?" (Chris)
"Definitely; that’s what got him the fucking fatwa."
-Gleep Glossary: Labria
November 14, 2025 at 7:23 PM
"There’s a short story this was based on." (Eric)
"Who wrote that short story? Salman Rushie?" (Chris)
"Definitely; that’s what got him the fucking fatwa."
-Gleep Glossary: Labria
"Who wrote that short story? Salman Rushie?" (Chris)
"Definitely; that’s what got him the fucking fatwa."
-Gleep Glossary: Labria
"My wife and I saw this in the theaters - that was a tough train ride home."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
November 14, 2025 at 2:10 PM
"My wife and I saw this in the theaters - that was a tough train ride home."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"They’re at a commercial terminal, flying Southwest. I was like, ‘Don’t you own a building?!’ You own a building in downtown Manhattan - you should be able to select your fucking seat on an airplane."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
November 13, 2025 at 6:52 PM
"They’re at a commercial terminal, flying Southwest. I was like, ‘Don’t you own a building?!’ You own a building in downtown Manhattan - you should be able to select your fucking seat on an airplane."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"Man, Alex Jones could be a Marvel character." (Eric)
"He’d be like Kingpin’s loser brother."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"He’d be like Kingpin’s loser brother."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 PM
"Man, Alex Jones could be a Marvel character." (Eric)
"He’d be like Kingpin’s loser brother."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"He’d be like Kingpin’s loser brother."
-Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (live)
"At the pitch meeting for this, Rob Cohen was like, ‘You know what I hated about Jurassic Park? All these dinosaurs are running around, and not one is telling a joke!’ And they’re like, ‘You’re right! Here’s $20 million!’"
-Dragonheart
-Dragonheart
November 12, 2025 at 8:26 PM
"At the pitch meeting for this, Rob Cohen was like, ‘You know what I hated about Jurassic Park? All these dinosaurs are running around, and not one is telling a joke!’ And they’re like, ‘You’re right! Here’s $20 million!’"
-Dragonheart
-Dragonheart
"I am curious about Keanu eating a muffin in this movie - he doesn’t look like he’s had a muffin in some time." (Steve)
"That’s not a muffin body!" (Eric)
"Where’s the muffin top on that muffin body?!"
-Speed (live)
"That’s not a muffin body!" (Eric)
"Where’s the muffin top on that muffin body?!"
-Speed (live)
November 12, 2025 at 2:00 PM
"I am curious about Keanu eating a muffin in this movie - he doesn’t look like he’s had a muffin in some time." (Steve)
"That’s not a muffin body!" (Eric)
"Where’s the muffin top on that muffin body?!"
-Speed (live)
"That’s not a muffin body!" (Eric)
"Where’s the muffin top on that muffin body?!"
-Speed (live)
"It would be ballsy if they made this as a silent film, where there’s no humans, and it’s just aliens and predators, and neither talks. Like Apocalypto with aliens!" (Steve)
"Oh, I thought you meant a silent film with clinky-clank piano."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Oh, I thought you meant a silent film with clinky-clank piano."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
November 11, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"It would be ballsy if they made this as a silent film, where there’s no humans, and it’s just aliens and predators, and neither talks. Like Apocalypto with aliens!" (Steve)
"Oh, I thought you meant a silent film with clinky-clank piano."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Oh, I thought you meant a silent film with clinky-clank piano."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"This is Alien vs. Predator, or AVP, as the fans call it. And the lazy-ass poster art called it."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
November 11, 2025 at 2:04 PM
"This is Alien vs. Predator, or AVP, as the fans call it. And the lazy-ass poster art called it."
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
-AVP: Alien vs. Predator
"Ben Chaplin is like a British Mark Duplass, with like a fifth of the charm."
"Mark Du-less." (Eric)
-The Truth About Cats and Dogs
"Mark Du-less." (Eric)
-The Truth About Cats and Dogs
November 10, 2025 at 8:14 PM
"Ben Chaplin is like a British Mark Duplass, with like a fifth of the charm."
"Mark Du-less." (Eric)
-The Truth About Cats and Dogs
"Mark Du-less." (Eric)
-The Truth About Cats and Dogs
"There’s one shot of Jim Belushi being a fat idiot in this store."
"Well, there’s a lot of shots of that." (Eric)
-Retroactive
"Well, there’s a lot of shots of that." (Eric)
-Retroactive
November 10, 2025 at 2:44 PM
"There’s one shot of Jim Belushi being a fat idiot in this store."
"Well, there’s a lot of shots of that." (Eric)
-Retroactive
"Well, there’s a lot of shots of that." (Eric)
-Retroactive
"So these are wands here?" (Eric)
"Yeah, this is basically the Foot Locker for wands."
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonementary
"Yeah, this is basically the Foot Locker for wands."
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonementary
November 7, 2025 at 2:29 PM
"So these are wands here?" (Eric)
"Yeah, this is basically the Foot Locker for wands."
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonementary
"Yeah, this is basically the Foot Locker for wands."
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonementary