Whenever I confess to anyone that I'm not feeling great and they ask me what's wrong, I just blank for a moment because man, what isn't wrong?

Happy birthday Lexieeee!!

I feel like a video game character in an environment with all kinds of cool stuff but I have a set path I'm only allowed to go on and everything else is an invisible barrier.

I was thinking about everyone gathering their favorite teas and we all sample each of them.

I also thought I might like a certain time period theme, clothing-wise, but then realized that'd be either really expensive or a lot of hard work modifying clothes.

Honestly it shooks me too!!

I decided to def play fanciful classical music like mozart, and the party activity besides tea time is going to be decorating tiny cakes/cookies.

It could be that, for me, it's an accommodation issue rather than a need to change my environment or myself completely. If I want novel experiences, what obstructions are hindering me and how can I make it easier? That kind of thing, maybe...

That def makes sense, changing one's environment is easier than putting in the work of changing oneself. Another piece is that most neurodiverse folks often aren't taught to accommodate our disabilities, since they're usually just seen as just personal flaws.

Or maybe it's just like, everyone needs novelty and breaks now and then but I never enrich myself in small and controlled ways like going vacationing for a weekend and that's why I feel like I need to dramatically fuck up all my relationships and responsibilities and skip town?