King Henry VIII
@knghnryviii.bsky.social
Increds king, husband, father, dancer, musician, writer, hunter, feaster, and thought leader. You are legally required to buy my motivational book “Unleash Your Inner Tudor”.
Look who’s playing dress-up.
February 20, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Look who’s playing dress-up.
My needs are simple. I only ask to be worshipped.
February 9, 2025 at 3:16 AM
My needs are simple. I only ask to be worshipped.
Signing my name to large documents. Nothing feels better.
February 4, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Signing my name to large documents. Nothing feels better.
News of my death is a hoax perpetuated by lady historians!!
January 28, 2025 at 11:07 PM
News of my death is a hoax perpetuated by lady historians!!
January 26, 2025 at 8:26 PM
The magical combination of relentless pettiness and colossal ego is the kind of leadership peasants can always get excited about.
January 25, 2025 at 5:04 AM
The magical combination of relentless pettiness and colossal ego is the kind of leadership peasants can always get excited about.
Sometimes I lie in bed at night eating cakes wondering why more people don’t lie in bed eating cakes
#nightthoughts #kinglife
#nightthoughts #kinglife
January 25, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Sometimes I lie in bed at night eating cakes wondering why more people don’t lie in bed eating cakes
#nightthoughts #kinglife
#nightthoughts #kinglife
It’s important to acknowledge and honour your needs:
- for flattery
- for applause
- praise for your intellect and insights that surpass all others the way the sun outshines the stars
- to be celebrated for your dance moves
- for a variety of cheeses
- for flattery
- for applause
- praise for your intellect and insights that surpass all others the way the sun outshines the stars
- to be celebrated for your dance moves
- for a variety of cheeses
January 21, 2025 at 3:15 PM
It’s important to acknowledge and honour your needs:
- for flattery
- for applause
- praise for your intellect and insights that surpass all others the way the sun outshines the stars
- to be celebrated for your dance moves
- for a variety of cheeses
- for flattery
- for applause
- praise for your intellect and insights that surpass all others the way the sun outshines the stars
- to be celebrated for your dance moves
- for a variety of cheeses
Asked my children to suggest new names for bodies of water around our kingdom.
- We will be renaming “Irish Sea” the “English Channel Part 2” suggested by Little Edward
- The “Fragility of Toxic Masculinity Sea” suggested by daughters Mary & Elizabeth for “North Sea” has been struck off the list
- We will be renaming “Irish Sea” the “English Channel Part 2” suggested by Little Edward
- The “Fragility of Toxic Masculinity Sea” suggested by daughters Mary & Elizabeth for “North Sea” has been struck off the list
January 20, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Asked my children to suggest new names for bodies of water around our kingdom.
- We will be renaming “Irish Sea” the “English Channel Part 2” suggested by Little Edward
- The “Fragility of Toxic Masculinity Sea” suggested by daughters Mary & Elizabeth for “North Sea” has been struck off the list
- We will be renaming “Irish Sea” the “English Channel Part 2” suggested by Little Edward
- The “Fragility of Toxic Masculinity Sea” suggested by daughters Mary & Elizabeth for “North Sea” has been struck off the list
Leadership hack. If you say you have all the answers, peasants will actually believe you do. Better yet, say that God is on your side — they’ll believe that too!!
January 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Leadership hack. If you say you have all the answers, peasants will actually believe you do. Better yet, say that God is on your side — they’ll believe that too!!
How To Be a Leader Who Leads Like Leader:
- Demand loyalty
- Give none
- Take credit for all that is good
- Blame a woman or foreigner for all that is bad
- Always project an air of seething self-importance
- Big Codpiece Energy!
- Demand loyalty
- Give none
- Take credit for all that is good
- Blame a woman or foreigner for all that is bad
- Always project an air of seething self-importance
- Big Codpiece Energy!
January 17, 2025 at 3:08 AM
How To Be a Leader Who Leads Like Leader:
- Demand loyalty
- Give none
- Take credit for all that is good
- Blame a woman or foreigner for all that is bad
- Always project an air of seething self-importance
- Big Codpiece Energy!
- Demand loyalty
- Give none
- Take credit for all that is good
- Blame a woman or foreigner for all that is bad
- Always project an air of seething self-importance
- Big Codpiece Energy!
Reposted by King Henry VIII
Say what you will about Henry VIII as a person, but as a composer, “Pastime with Good Company” is a banger.
January 16, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Say what you will about Henry VIII as a person, but as a composer, “Pastime with Good Company” is a banger.
3 Steps to Becoming the Most Interesting Person You Know
- Shout whilst in public and in private “I AM THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON I KNOW”
- Have this carved over your front gate
- Require your servants, children & wives to shout when you enter a room “YOU ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON WE KNOW”
- Shout whilst in public and in private “I AM THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON I KNOW”
- Have this carved over your front gate
- Require your servants, children & wives to shout when you enter a room “YOU ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON WE KNOW”
January 16, 2025 at 6:12 AM
3 Steps to Becoming the Most Interesting Person You Know
- Shout whilst in public and in private “I AM THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON I KNOW”
- Have this carved over your front gate
- Require your servants, children & wives to shout when you enter a room “YOU ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON WE KNOW”
- Shout whilst in public and in private “I AM THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON I KNOW”
- Have this carved over your front gate
- Require your servants, children & wives to shout when you enter a room “YOU ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON WE KNOW”
Wow. Now we’re normalising size-ism and non-flight-ism?
according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way this sheep should be able to stand
January 15, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Wow. Now we’re normalising size-ism and non-flight-ism?
5 Foods to Avoid If You Want to be Happy:
- leafy horrible salady bits
- any stem or root masquerading as edible
- if it doesn’t have bacon in it
- not soaked in alcohol
- isn’t cake
- leafy horrible salady bits
- any stem or root masquerading as edible
- if it doesn’t have bacon in it
- not soaked in alcohol
- isn’t cake
January 15, 2025 at 6:35 AM
5 Foods to Avoid If You Want to be Happy:
- leafy horrible salady bits
- any stem or root masquerading as edible
- if it doesn’t have bacon in it
- not soaked in alcohol
- isn’t cake
- leafy horrible salady bits
- any stem or root masquerading as edible
- if it doesn’t have bacon in it
- not soaked in alcohol
- isn’t cake
Why is it when people wish me Godspeed I don’t immediately acquire the ability to travel from one place to another instantly? What an empty and insulting thing to say!
January 11, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Why is it when people wish me Godspeed I don’t immediately acquire the ability to travel from one place to another instantly? What an empty and insulting thing to say!
Buying this for a friend
January 7, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Buying this for a friend
Reposted by King Henry VIII
The weather may be grim outside, but inside the Great Hall today are beautiful things
youtube.com/shorts/PD3fV...
youtube.com/shorts/PD3fV...
The Great Hall at Hampton Court Palace resonates to early modern music once more
YouTube video by Richard Fitch
youtube.com
January 5, 2025 at 1:04 PM
The weather may be grim outside, but inside the Great Hall today are beautiful things
youtube.com/shorts/PD3fV...
youtube.com/shorts/PD3fV...
Enjoying another day in the relentless pursuit of pleasure. It feels good to spend time wisely.
January 4, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Enjoying another day in the relentless pursuit of pleasure. It feels good to spend time wisely.
Sometimes I wonder “am I only composed of positive qualities?” and the answer is yes
Say what you will about Henry VIII, at least he wasn’t wandering into peasants’ fields stealing their jokes about Saracens or whatever
Musk's transphobia really hits different when you realize that he ordered all boys via IVF.
He's worse than a bad father, he's a dissatisfied customer.
He's worse than a bad father, he's a dissatisfied customer.
January 3, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Sometimes I wonder “am I only composed of positive qualities?” and the answer is yes
5 Things I Look Forward To In The New Year:
- being feared
- striking commanding poses
- shouting “WORSHIP ME IDIOTS”
- Oxford commas
- cheese
- being feared
- striking commanding poses
- shouting “WORSHIP ME IDIOTS”
- Oxford commas
- cheese
December 31, 2024 at 11:17 PM
5 Things I Look Forward To In The New Year:
- being feared
- striking commanding poses
- shouting “WORSHIP ME IDIOTS”
- Oxford commas
- cheese
- being feared
- striking commanding poses
- shouting “WORSHIP ME IDIOTS”
- Oxford commas
- cheese
5 DAILY STEPS FOR HAPPINESS:
1. many cakes
2. threatening dance moves
3. actual threats
4. repeat mantra every hour in full voice "GOD PUT ME HERE TO RULE YOU BLOODY IDIOTS WITH AN IRON FIST"
5. on-demand cheese
1. many cakes
2. threatening dance moves
3. actual threats
4. repeat mantra every hour in full voice "GOD PUT ME HERE TO RULE YOU BLOODY IDIOTS WITH AN IRON FIST"
5. on-demand cheese
December 29, 2024 at 8:51 PM
5 DAILY STEPS FOR HAPPINESS:
1. many cakes
2. threatening dance moves
3. actual threats
4. repeat mantra every hour in full voice "GOD PUT ME HERE TO RULE YOU BLOODY IDIOTS WITH AN IRON FIST"
5. on-demand cheese
1. many cakes
2. threatening dance moves
3. actual threats
4. repeat mantra every hour in full voice "GOD PUT ME HERE TO RULE YOU BLOODY IDIOTS WITH AN IRON FIST"
5. on-demand cheese
“YOU’LL EAT IT AND YOU’LL LIKE IT”
"yes, I know it's swan 'again' ladies, but I can only serve what the cooks cook!"
December 27, 2024 at 6:27 PM
“YOU’LL EAT IT AND YOU’LL LIKE IT”
If it was anyone else’s order, it would be illegal
Swan for table no.1, I presume that's your order @knghnryviii.bsky.social
December 22, 2024 at 6:08 AM
If it was anyone else’s order, it would be illegal