I tell people I work in IT. Within 30 seconds they almost always ask if I can fix their printer.

I’ve worked in IT for 30 years, but I cannot fix a printer. Nobody can. They are Satan spawn.

I’m the front doors that are both the south side view and the deck. Wait scratch that. I’m “there are no entries or exits.”

I thought all the bathrooms with just sinks was bad, then I got to the mudroom with two bath tubs.

At this point if I was a faculty member there, I’d just give every student an ‘A’ and move on with my life. It would substantially reduce the amount of grading work I’d have to do too.

This is probably why I don’t teach.

I have found the "rip the bandaid off" method works best. If I have more than three days to move, I do it all wrong and move 5 boxes at a time (or just throw random crap in the car). It helps that I can now afford to pay someone to pack the old place and move everything to the new place.

I swear for 90% of those meds, one of the side effects is the thing you’re trying to cure, but 15% less bad.

My wife’s family has a “gravy” recipe that amounts to giblets and boiled egg bits in water. I complained enough that I get separate gravy. Which is from a jar. The jar gravy wins, but barely.

They will arrive at 3:59p. At 4:03p they will tell you they don’t have the part they need and will be back between 12-4 tomorrow.

OK, I've tried for like 4 minutes to do Whatchamacallit, but I'm realizing that was probably as bad as it could get to start with.

Knickers.

Reese's Peanut Butter Pup.

Every day I wake up and pray that neither Tom Hanks nor Keanu Reeves has had a scandal break. They are our last and final hope.

I’m trying to decide if my MAGA Republican House rep not giving a shit what I think is better or worse than my barely a Democrat Senator not giving a shit about what I think. It’s feeling like a horrible toss up. I understand how people get to the point they just don’t vote.

Yea, that was a pretty obvious feint. I'll not be voting for Warner even if the Dems are stupid enough to let him get all the way to the general.

My useless Senator from VA isn’t up for reelection until 2030. I’m pretty sure he took the hit in the hopes folks will forget that Warner is equally useless. Warner is up next year. I’m praying for a primary challenger there.