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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 16h

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 23h

Listen, it's just trying to bring everyone closer together. Y'know. Into a single body.

Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 1d

Okay, so. I completely missed this when it came out, but... there's a film about the Manson murders with Matt Smith - MATT SMITH - as Charles Manson? And they called it *that*?

Several other English people were involved. I'm guessing they were all too young to know why it's funny.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 1d

Classic #DoctorWho Stories If They Had Anime Titles

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 2d

Two weeks after I posted this, a YouTube video did a deep dive and revealed that Orangey didn't really exist: there was a whole team of orange cats ("Tiffany's" alone used nine) working under a single name for publicity purposes. I am disconsolate.

Also, Jones from "Alien" was four Joneses.

Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 26d

Went down a bit of a rabbit hole here. I've often wondered about the visibly cheesed-off cat in "Breakfast at Tiffany's", so I'm pleased to discover he was also the giant cat in both "The Incredible Shrinking Man" and "Village of the Giants", as well as appearing in "The Twilight Zone" and "Batman".

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 3d

The true perversity of the #Strictly format: every Sunday, we watch the two worst bits of the previous evening's programme, and we absolutely know that's what we're getting.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 3d

Kokaynis Deere, Victorian detective who'll take any case to fund his habit.

Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 4d

Although if we're making an exact parallel, then the Doozer tower in this scenario would be... my house. (Like that episode of "Futurama" where the elves who live in gingerbread houses are starving. "But... your houses are made of gingerbread." "Hey, it's food or shelter, not both.")

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 4d

I don't know what fanfic we're in, but the original canon must've been shit.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

"Good architecture is meant to be enjoyed."

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

There are workmen on the scaffolding outside my window, and the only way I can deal with the anxiety is by pretending they're Doozers.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

Oh yeah. 33 years on, and I know every word of "Ebeneezer Goode". Still got it.

"It" in this case is Dad Vibes for Men Who Don't Actually Have Children, but at least I own something. #TOTP

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

Adam and the Ants had a real talent for making records you think you want to listen to when they start, but then after about 50 seconds, you go "nah, I'm all right". #TOTP

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

(For pedants: the "diabetics don't eat garlic" episode of "Columbo" is "The Most Dangerous Match". The "diabetics don't drink alcohol" one is "The Conspirators", not shown in the UK until the late '90s due to its IRA theme. The diabetic is the victim in both cases, because we are God's chosen prey.)

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

Not only is there a "Columbo" where diabetics can't eat garlic, there's one where diabetics can't drink alcohol. Now, I've seen every "Columbo" at least twice, but I definitely remember a broadcast of the "no alcohol" one when I was eating bruschetta and of the "no garlic" one when I was drunk.

Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 8d

There's an old episode of "Columbo" that claims diabetics don't / can't eat garlic, which I can assure you is inaccurate. But if fiction can't even get *that* right, I'm pretty sure the thing about the vampires isn't true either.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

...was a good joke until they invented AI.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 5d

You couldn't make "Blazing Saddles" today. For one thing, Gene Wilder's dead. What are you going to do, put animatronic motors in him?

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 7d

You do realise, there's now a potential twist to British politics where the Conservatives realise they can outdo Labour at the next election with vaguely liberal policies? Listen, in America there was a time when the Republicans were theoretically *against* slavery, any flip is possible.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 7d

Mine's about 28.5, I'm afraid to say. My doctor's always telling me to lose weight.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 7d

"Capitol Insurrection" card that takes control of a QAnon-basic land.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 7d

What if this is one half of a split card in a set that's full of Paedophiles (in the same way Kamigawa was full of Spirits)? Call it Predator // Prey.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 7d

Expecting Ted Cruz to claim that when he said "stop attacking paedophiles", he meant "stop paedophiles who are attacking". Which is a perfectly reasonable interpretation of the phrase if, say, you're playing "Magic: The Gathering" instead of trying to communicate in English.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 8d

There's an old episode of "Columbo" that claims diabetics don't / can't eat garlic, which I can assure you is inaccurate. But if fiction can't even get *that* right, I'm pretty sure the thing about the vampires isn't true either.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 8d

Or a '90s version that says "Virgin Doctor Who Fan".

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 8d

It's been brought to my attention that between the archaic "WAH-WAH-WAAAH!" and today's "descending trombone note" comes the intermediate form, "WOMP womp". The australopithecine of disappointment noises.

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