Rikki and Kiki
@leetrikki90.bsky.social
Human (Rikki) & her telepathic tuxedo cat (Kiki). Human’s a retired writer/editor/instructional designer. Kiki’s the boss! Read our stories aloud (CAPS = emphasis). Kiki’s Cat Treats of Wisdom & Kiki’s Journal are researched. We love cats, pix & art! 🚫DMs!
“Kiki’s Journal #19: I’m descended from BIG kitties…So, I prowl and HUNT! I often find an OBJECT (a rubber band or a pencil) my human dropped. I know it’s NOT food, and I DON’T eat it. She usually sees me with it—and takes it AWAY! But I’ll keep on searching…since a HUNTING kitty is a HAPPY kitty!”
November 12, 2025 at 8:52 PM
“Kiki’s Journal #19: I’m descended from BIG kitties…So, I prowl and HUNT! I often find an OBJECT (a rubber band or a pencil) my human dropped. I know it’s NOT food, and I DON’T eat it. She usually sees me with it—and takes it AWAY! But I’ll keep on searching…since a HUNTING kitty is a HAPPY kitty!”
“Kiki, I need to read by the LAMP. But I’m ASKING—NOT telling—you to move. YOU decide!”
“I decide…to STAY, human!”
“If you DECIDE that, I‘ll decide NOT to scritch you again!”
“Cool!”
“Or PLAY with you…You’ll always be SAD!”
“Not ME, human!”
“I decide to sit NEXT to you, Kiki! Want SCRITCHES?”
“I decide…to STAY, human!”
“If you DECIDE that, I‘ll decide NOT to scritch you again!”
“Cool!”
“Or PLAY with you…You’ll always be SAD!”
“Not ME, human!”
“I decide to sit NEXT to you, Kiki! Want SCRITCHES?”
November 12, 2025 at 7:05 PM
“Kiki, I need to read by the LAMP. But I’m ASKING—NOT telling—you to move. YOU decide!”
“I decide…to STAY, human!”
“If you DECIDE that, I‘ll decide NOT to scritch you again!”
“Cool!”
“Or PLAY with you…You’ll always be SAD!”
“Not ME, human!”
“I decide to sit NEXT to you, Kiki! Want SCRITCHES?”
“I decide…to STAY, human!”
“If you DECIDE that, I‘ll decide NOT to scritch you again!”
“Cool!”
“Or PLAY with you…You’ll always be SAD!”
“Not ME, human!”
“I decide to sit NEXT to you, Kiki! Want SCRITCHES?”
“Why raise your HAND, human?”
“It’s a HIGH FIVE, Kiki. Tap it with your PAW, and you’ll get a TREAT!”
“No way! Show me the treat FIRST! Put it in FRONT of me!”
“OK…And you just ATE it. High five me NOW, Kiki!”
“YOU can’t teach ME your trick, human! But I taught you MINE—it’s to give me a TREAT!”
“It’s a HIGH FIVE, Kiki. Tap it with your PAW, and you’ll get a TREAT!”
“No way! Show me the treat FIRST! Put it in FRONT of me!”
“OK…And you just ATE it. High five me NOW, Kiki!”
“YOU can’t teach ME your trick, human! But I taught you MINE—it’s to give me a TREAT!”
November 12, 2025 at 3:49 PM
“Why raise your HAND, human?”
“It’s a HIGH FIVE, Kiki. Tap it with your PAW, and you’ll get a TREAT!”
“No way! Show me the treat FIRST! Put it in FRONT of me!”
“OK…And you just ATE it. High five me NOW, Kiki!”
“YOU can’t teach ME your trick, human! But I taught you MINE—it’s to give me a TREAT!”
“It’s a HIGH FIVE, Kiki. Tap it with your PAW, and you’ll get a TREAT!”
“No way! Show me the treat FIRST! Put it in FRONT of me!”
“OK…And you just ATE it. High five me NOW, Kiki!”
“YOU can’t teach ME your trick, human! But I taught you MINE—it’s to give me a TREAT!”
“Kiki, I bought a can of wet food…new brand AND flavor!”
“Lemme TRY, human!”
“If I OPEN it, you may not eat it; I’ll lose money! If I DON’T open it, I haven’t lost!”
“Bet on me to LIKE it!”
“It’s OPEN!…Make me a WINNER!”
(sniffs) “Nope! YOU lose, human!”
“Betting on you is for SUCKERS, Kiki!”
“Lemme TRY, human!”
“If I OPEN it, you may not eat it; I’ll lose money! If I DON’T open it, I haven’t lost!”
“Bet on me to LIKE it!”
“It’s OPEN!…Make me a WINNER!”
(sniffs) “Nope! YOU lose, human!”
“Betting on you is for SUCKERS, Kiki!”
November 12, 2025 at 1:09 PM
“Kiki, I bought a can of wet food…new brand AND flavor!”
“Lemme TRY, human!”
“If I OPEN it, you may not eat it; I’ll lose money! If I DON’T open it, I haven’t lost!”
“Bet on me to LIKE it!”
“It’s OPEN!…Make me a WINNER!”
(sniffs) “Nope! YOU lose, human!”
“Betting on you is for SUCKERS, Kiki!”
“Lemme TRY, human!”
“If I OPEN it, you may not eat it; I’ll lose money! If I DON’T open it, I haven’t lost!”
“Bet on me to LIKE it!”
“It’s OPEN!…Make me a WINNER!”
(sniffs) “Nope! YOU lose, human!”
“Betting on you is for SUCKERS, Kiki!”
“Human, I sense many KITTIES nearby!”
“The building’s KITTY PARTY, Kiki!”
“I wasn’t INVITED?”
“After what you did LAST month? You HISSED at the Maine Coon and SWATTED the calico’s head!”
“I’m an OUTCAST, human! Lonesome ME!”
“We’ll have YOUR party here, Kiki—not a KITTY party but a PITY party!”
“The building’s KITTY PARTY, Kiki!”
“I wasn’t INVITED?”
“After what you did LAST month? You HISSED at the Maine Coon and SWATTED the calico’s head!”
“I’m an OUTCAST, human! Lonesome ME!”
“We’ll have YOUR party here, Kiki—not a KITTY party but a PITY party!”
November 11, 2025 at 10:48 PM
“Human, I sense many KITTIES nearby!”
“The building’s KITTY PARTY, Kiki!”
“I wasn’t INVITED?”
“After what you did LAST month? You HISSED at the Maine Coon and SWATTED the calico’s head!”
“I’m an OUTCAST, human! Lonesome ME!”
“We’ll have YOUR party here, Kiki—not a KITTY party but a PITY party!”
“The building’s KITTY PARTY, Kiki!”
“I wasn’t INVITED?”
“After what you did LAST month? You HISSED at the Maine Coon and SWATTED the calico’s head!”
“I’m an OUTCAST, human! Lonesome ME!”
“We’ll have YOUR party here, Kiki—not a KITTY party but a PITY party!”
“Kiki’s Journal #18: I try to get my human’s ATTENTION…for food or cuddles—or to tell her how I‘m FEELING! I sit in her line of sight ’til she LOOKS at me—or in the dining room (for food) or by her chair (for scritches). I also like to make her GUESS what I want, and I can get even MORE attention!”
November 11, 2025 at 8:43 PM
“Kiki’s Journal #18: I try to get my human’s ATTENTION…for food or cuddles—or to tell her how I‘m FEELING! I sit in her line of sight ’til she LOOKS at me—or in the dining room (for food) or by her chair (for scritches). I also like to make her GUESS what I want, and I can get even MORE attention!”
“Ow, Kiki! You really went ballistic on my ARM! It’s all scratched up!”
“It was MOVING, human!…Didn’t you just buy a new TOY and now waved it back and forth?”
“My arm’s ATTACHED to me, and I’m VERY attached to it!”
“It moved AGAIN! Such FUN! Gonna CATCH it, human!”
“Kiki, no! Don’t toy with ME!”
“It was MOVING, human!…Didn’t you just buy a new TOY and now waved it back and forth?”
“My arm’s ATTACHED to me, and I’m VERY attached to it!”
“It moved AGAIN! Such FUN! Gonna CATCH it, human!”
“Kiki, no! Don’t toy with ME!”
November 11, 2025 at 6:52 PM
“Ow, Kiki! You really went ballistic on my ARM! It’s all scratched up!”
“It was MOVING, human!…Didn’t you just buy a new TOY and now waved it back and forth?”
“My arm’s ATTACHED to me, and I’m VERY attached to it!”
“It moved AGAIN! Such FUN! Gonna CATCH it, human!”
“Kiki, no! Don’t toy with ME!”
“It was MOVING, human!…Didn’t you just buy a new TOY and now waved it back and forth?”
“My arm’s ATTACHED to me, and I’m VERY attached to it!”
“It moved AGAIN! Such FUN! Gonna CATCH it, human!”
“Kiki, no! Don’t toy with ME!”
“Lunch, Kiki! Chicken pâté or tuna shreds? Pick!”
“I don’t KNOW, human!”
“What are you in the MOOD for?“
“WHATEVER I get, I’ll either eat it or not!“
“TUNA…No, you had it for breakfast! CHICKEN…No, you didn’t eat it LAST time!”
“Hurry!”
“OK, I gave you TUNA, Kiki!”
“I wanted CHICKEN, human!”
“I don’t KNOW, human!”
“What are you in the MOOD for?“
“WHATEVER I get, I’ll either eat it or not!“
“TUNA…No, you had it for breakfast! CHICKEN…No, you didn’t eat it LAST time!”
“Hurry!”
“OK, I gave you TUNA, Kiki!”
“I wanted CHICKEN, human!”
November 11, 2025 at 4:02 PM
“Lunch, Kiki! Chicken pâté or tuna shreds? Pick!”
“I don’t KNOW, human!”
“What are you in the MOOD for?“
“WHATEVER I get, I’ll either eat it or not!“
“TUNA…No, you had it for breakfast! CHICKEN…No, you didn’t eat it LAST time!”
“Hurry!”
“OK, I gave you TUNA, Kiki!”
“I wanted CHICKEN, human!”
“I don’t KNOW, human!”
“What are you in the MOOD for?“
“WHATEVER I get, I’ll either eat it or not!“
“TUNA…No, you had it for breakfast! CHICKEN…No, you didn’t eat it LAST time!”
“Hurry!”
“OK, I gave you TUNA, Kiki!”
“I wanted CHICKEN, human!”
“For Kiki’s sake! I can’t WRITE; you’re on my tablet!”
”Human, why do you use my name when CUSSING?”
“I’m expressing FRUSTRATION! What do YOU say…when I don’t scoop the litter?”
“‘Clean my SANDBOX, you…’”
”’You‘…WHAT?”
“‘Nerdy kitty-loving HUMAN!’”
“Ow, Kiki! You really hit me where it HURTS!”
”Human, why do you use my name when CUSSING?”
“I’m expressing FRUSTRATION! What do YOU say…when I don’t scoop the litter?”
“‘Clean my SANDBOX, you…’”
”’You‘…WHAT?”
“‘Nerdy kitty-loving HUMAN!’”
“Ow, Kiki! You really hit me where it HURTS!”
November 11, 2025 at 12:53 PM
“For Kiki’s sake! I can’t WRITE; you’re on my tablet!”
”Human, why do you use my name when CUSSING?”
“I’m expressing FRUSTRATION! What do YOU say…when I don’t scoop the litter?”
“‘Clean my SANDBOX, you…’”
”’You‘…WHAT?”
“‘Nerdy kitty-loving HUMAN!’”
“Ow, Kiki! You really hit me where it HURTS!”
”Human, why do you use my name when CUSSING?”
“I’m expressing FRUSTRATION! What do YOU say…when I don’t scoop the litter?”
“‘Clean my SANDBOX, you…’”
”’You‘…WHAT?”
“‘Nerdy kitty-loving HUMAN!’”
“Ow, Kiki! You really hit me where it HURTS!”
“Will you ever let me HOLD you, Kiki?”
“You want hands, arms AND face intact, human?…Why ask NOW?”
“I remember when I ADOPTED you. They put you in my ARMS; you jumped out! I haven’t held you SINCE!”
“It ain’t PLEASANT! But—I promise—one day you CAN hold me, human!”
“I’ll HOLD you to that, Kiki!”
“You want hands, arms AND face intact, human?…Why ask NOW?”
“I remember when I ADOPTED you. They put you in my ARMS; you jumped out! I haven’t held you SINCE!”
“It ain’t PLEASANT! But—I promise—one day you CAN hold me, human!”
“I’ll HOLD you to that, Kiki!”
November 10, 2025 at 11:01 PM
“Will you ever let me HOLD you, Kiki?”
“You want hands, arms AND face intact, human?…Why ask NOW?”
“I remember when I ADOPTED you. They put you in my ARMS; you jumped out! I haven’t held you SINCE!”
“It ain’t PLEASANT! But—I promise—one day you CAN hold me, human!”
“I’ll HOLD you to that, Kiki!”
“You want hands, arms AND face intact, human?…Why ask NOW?”
“I remember when I ADOPTED you. They put you in my ARMS; you jumped out! I haven’t held you SINCE!”
“It ain’t PLEASANT! But—I promise—one day you CAN hold me, human!”
“I’ll HOLD you to that, Kiki!”
“Kiki’s Journal #17: My human loves CUDDLING me, whether I want it or not. She SCRITCHES my head and neck and PETS my back. I’ll take it for a bit, since she MASSAGES areas I can’t reach. It gets to be TOO MUCH of a good thing, and she backs off before I attack! But it was SO NICE while it lasted!”
November 10, 2025 at 8:38 PM
“Kiki’s Journal #17: My human loves CUDDLING me, whether I want it or not. She SCRITCHES my head and neck and PETS my back. I’ll take it for a bit, since she MASSAGES areas I can’t reach. It gets to be TOO MUCH of a good thing, and she backs off before I attack! But it was SO NICE while it lasted!”
“Kiki, bad time to be in the BATHROOM! I’m gonna SIT DOWN a while!”
“Can I sit on your lap, human? You can CUDDLE me!”
“Not NOW!”
“I’ll watch!”
“Would YOU like it if I sat and watched YOU in the litterbox?”
“No, human—that would invade my PRIVACY!”
“Bingo! Now go, Kiki! I’ll close the DOOR!”
“Can I sit on your lap, human? You can CUDDLE me!”
“Not NOW!”
“I’ll watch!”
“Would YOU like it if I sat and watched YOU in the litterbox?”
“No, human—that would invade my PRIVACY!”
“Bingo! Now go, Kiki! I’ll close the DOOR!”
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 PM
“Kiki, bad time to be in the BATHROOM! I’m gonna SIT DOWN a while!”
“Can I sit on your lap, human? You can CUDDLE me!”
“Not NOW!”
“I’ll watch!”
“Would YOU like it if I sat and watched YOU in the litterbox?”
“No, human—that would invade my PRIVACY!”
“Bingo! Now go, Kiki! I’ll close the DOOR!”
“Can I sit on your lap, human? You can CUDDLE me!”
“Not NOW!”
“I’ll watch!”
“Would YOU like it if I sat and watched YOU in the litterbox?”
“No, human—that would invade my PRIVACY!”
“Bingo! Now go, Kiki! I’ll close the DOOR!”
“Kiki, you’re HYPER!…Did you have CATNIP?”
“I don’t ‘NIP before noon, human! I’m just a kitty of 1,000 PERSONALITIES!”
“Lemme FEED you, and I can get out of your way!”
(eating) “Yummy! I‘m feeling as good as NEW!”
“So you’re the ORIGINAL Kiki?”
“Yes, human…The one with the WINNING personality!”
“I don’t ‘NIP before noon, human! I’m just a kitty of 1,000 PERSONALITIES!”
“Lemme FEED you, and I can get out of your way!”
(eating) “Yummy! I‘m feeling as good as NEW!”
“So you’re the ORIGINAL Kiki?”
“Yes, human…The one with the WINNING personality!”
November 10, 2025 at 3:36 PM
“Kiki, you’re HYPER!…Did you have CATNIP?”
“I don’t ‘NIP before noon, human! I’m just a kitty of 1,000 PERSONALITIES!”
“Lemme FEED you, and I can get out of your way!”
(eating) “Yummy! I‘m feeling as good as NEW!”
“So you’re the ORIGINAL Kiki?”
“Yes, human…The one with the WINNING personality!”
“I don’t ‘NIP before noon, human! I’m just a kitty of 1,000 PERSONALITIES!”
“Lemme FEED you, and I can get out of your way!”
(eating) “Yummy! I‘m feeling as good as NEW!”
“So you’re the ORIGINAL Kiki?”
“Yes, human…The one with the WINNING personality!”
“Kiki, ONE of us lives off the kindliness of the OTHER!”
”Here we GO!…OK, human! What are my BENEFITS again?”
“Health, love, happiness, companionship…Need I go on?”
“You made your POINT! I take ADVANTAGE of you!”
“No, Kiki, you give ME all that! I thank you!”
“Thank me with some TREATS, human!”
”Here we GO!…OK, human! What are my BENEFITS again?”
“Health, love, happiness, companionship…Need I go on?”
“You made your POINT! I take ADVANTAGE of you!”
“No, Kiki, you give ME all that! I thank you!”
“Thank me with some TREATS, human!”
November 10, 2025 at 12:44 PM
“Kiki, ONE of us lives off the kindliness of the OTHER!”
”Here we GO!…OK, human! What are my BENEFITS again?”
“Health, love, happiness, companionship…Need I go on?”
“You made your POINT! I take ADVANTAGE of you!”
“No, Kiki, you give ME all that! I thank you!”
“Thank me with some TREATS, human!”
”Here we GO!…OK, human! What are my BENEFITS again?”
“Health, love, happiness, companionship…Need I go on?”
“You made your POINT! I take ADVANTAGE of you!”
“No, Kiki, you give ME all that! I thank you!”
“Thank me with some TREATS, human!”
“Kiki’s Journal #16: My human often wants to know what I’m THINKING of. Most of the time, I don’t think at all! When I DO, it’s about eating, grooming, napping, being cuddled, watching birds, etc. This leads to WANTING and DOING! I don’t think about the past, unless I need to remember what to FEAR!”
November 9, 2025 at 8:50 PM
“Kiki’s Journal #16: My human often wants to know what I’m THINKING of. Most of the time, I don’t think at all! When I DO, it’s about eating, grooming, napping, being cuddled, watching birds, etc. This leads to WANTING and DOING! I don’t think about the past, unless I need to remember what to FEAR!”
“Kiki, here’s your wet food!“
“I didn’t ASK for that, human! Didn’t even send you a telepathic TEXT!”
“You don’t WANT it?”
“I didn’t SAY that.”
“Maybe…I SENSED that you wanted it before YOU did, Kiki!”
“Human, the only thing YOU sense is me getting cranky that you wanna CHAT and I wanna EAT!”
“I didn’t ASK for that, human! Didn’t even send you a telepathic TEXT!”
“You don’t WANT it?”
“I didn’t SAY that.”
“Maybe…I SENSED that you wanted it before YOU did, Kiki!”
“Human, the only thing YOU sense is me getting cranky that you wanna CHAT and I wanna EAT!”
November 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
“Kiki, here’s your wet food!“
“I didn’t ASK for that, human! Didn’t even send you a telepathic TEXT!”
“You don’t WANT it?”
“I didn’t SAY that.”
“Maybe…I SENSED that you wanted it before YOU did, Kiki!”
“Human, the only thing YOU sense is me getting cranky that you wanna CHAT and I wanna EAT!”
“I didn’t ASK for that, human! Didn’t even send you a telepathic TEXT!”
“You don’t WANT it?”
“I didn’t SAY that.”
“Maybe…I SENSED that you wanted it before YOU did, Kiki!”
“Human, the only thing YOU sense is me getting cranky that you wanna CHAT and I wanna EAT!”
“Human, don’t touch my TAIL!”
“Sorry, Kiki!”
“And don’t touch my BELLY!”
“I won’t!”
“And don’t touch my PAWS!”
“OK!”
“And don’t touch my NECK!”
“Really?”
“Right now, I declare a ZERO-TOUCH policy. No touching me ANYWHERE!”
“I’ll do what you WANT, Kiki!”
“You WILL, human? Aw, I’m TOUCHED!”
“Sorry, Kiki!”
“And don’t touch my BELLY!”
“I won’t!”
“And don’t touch my PAWS!”
“OK!”
“And don’t touch my NECK!”
“Really?”
“Right now, I declare a ZERO-TOUCH policy. No touching me ANYWHERE!”
“I’ll do what you WANT, Kiki!”
“You WILL, human? Aw, I’m TOUCHED!”
November 9, 2025 at 3:48 PM
“Human, don’t touch my TAIL!”
“Sorry, Kiki!”
“And don’t touch my BELLY!”
“I won’t!”
“And don’t touch my PAWS!”
“OK!”
“And don’t touch my NECK!”
“Really?”
“Right now, I declare a ZERO-TOUCH policy. No touching me ANYWHERE!”
“I’ll do what you WANT, Kiki!”
“You WILL, human? Aw, I’m TOUCHED!”
“Sorry, Kiki!”
“And don’t touch my BELLY!”
“I won’t!”
“And don’t touch my PAWS!”
“OK!”
“And don’t touch my NECK!”
“Really?”
“Right now, I declare a ZERO-TOUCH policy. No touching me ANYWHERE!”
“I’ll do what you WANT, Kiki!”
“You WILL, human? Aw, I’m TOUCHED!”
“You think I‘m a PRETTY kitty, human?”
”You’re more than just a pretty FACE, Kiki!”
“How ELSE am I pretty?”
“OK…Pretty VAIN, pretty MISCHIEVOUS, pretty LAZY, pretty SILLY, pretty STUBBORN—“
”GOT it! Well, I think YOU’RE pretty, too!”
“Pretty COOL?”
“Pretty LAME, human!”
“Pretty FUNNY, Kiki!”
”You’re more than just a pretty FACE, Kiki!”
“How ELSE am I pretty?”
“OK…Pretty VAIN, pretty MISCHIEVOUS, pretty LAZY, pretty SILLY, pretty STUBBORN—“
”GOT it! Well, I think YOU’RE pretty, too!”
“Pretty COOL?”
“Pretty LAME, human!”
“Pretty FUNNY, Kiki!”
November 9, 2025 at 12:43 PM
“You think I‘m a PRETTY kitty, human?”
”You’re more than just a pretty FACE, Kiki!”
“How ELSE am I pretty?”
“OK…Pretty VAIN, pretty MISCHIEVOUS, pretty LAZY, pretty SILLY, pretty STUBBORN—“
”GOT it! Well, I think YOU’RE pretty, too!”
“Pretty COOL?”
“Pretty LAME, human!”
“Pretty FUNNY, Kiki!”
”You’re more than just a pretty FACE, Kiki!”
“How ELSE am I pretty?”
“OK…Pretty VAIN, pretty MISCHIEVOUS, pretty LAZY, pretty SILLY, pretty STUBBORN—“
”GOT it! Well, I think YOU’RE pretty, too!”
“Pretty COOL?”
“Pretty LAME, human!”
“Pretty FUNNY, Kiki!”
“Kiki’s Journal #15: I like playing with TOYS—moving red dot, self-rolling ball, dancing shoestring, etc. But I like my human’s things even MORE. She uses them, so I wanna PLAY with them—figurines on the shelf, pens on the desk, tabs on her shoes, etc. So maybe I can SHOW her that I like them, too!”
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
“Kiki’s Journal #15: I like playing with TOYS—moving red dot, self-rolling ball, dancing shoestring, etc. But I like my human’s things even MORE. She uses them, so I wanna PLAY with them—figurines on the shelf, pens on the desk, tabs on her shoes, etc. So maybe I can SHOW her that I like them, too!”
“Kiki, a friend’s coming for Thanksgiving—although we don’t share the same VIEWS. Wanna MEET her?”
“She got a KITTY, human?”
“A dachshund!”
“NO! She’ll smell like a PUPPY!”
“She’s NICE, Kiki! She even said she won’t talk POLITICS!”
“Ask her to ALSO not talk puppies, human…and I’ll RECONSIDER!”
“She got a KITTY, human?”
“A dachshund!”
“NO! She’ll smell like a PUPPY!”
“She’s NICE, Kiki! She even said she won’t talk POLITICS!”
“Ask her to ALSO not talk puppies, human…and I’ll RECONSIDER!”
November 8, 2025 at 7:06 PM
“Kiki, a friend’s coming for Thanksgiving—although we don’t share the same VIEWS. Wanna MEET her?”
“She got a KITTY, human?”
“A dachshund!”
“NO! She’ll smell like a PUPPY!”
“She’s NICE, Kiki! She even said she won’t talk POLITICS!”
“Ask her to ALSO not talk puppies, human…and I’ll RECONSIDER!”
“She got a KITTY, human?”
“A dachshund!”
“NO! She’ll smell like a PUPPY!”
“She’s NICE, Kiki! She even said she won’t talk POLITICS!”
“Ask her to ALSO not talk puppies, human…and I’ll RECONSIDER!”
(Kiki to herself) “How to Murder Your Human! Chapter 1: MOTIVE. Choose a reason: They rub your fur the wrong way, stare at you and don’t blink, take you to the vet, use a flea comb, etc. Chapter 2: METHOD…”
“Kiki, you NEVER purr on my lap! Why are you DOING it?”
“To kill you, human—with KINDNESS!”
“Kiki, you NEVER purr on my lap! Why are you DOING it?”
“To kill you, human—with KINDNESS!”
November 8, 2025 at 4:04 PM
(Kiki to herself) “How to Murder Your Human! Chapter 1: MOTIVE. Choose a reason: They rub your fur the wrong way, stare at you and don’t blink, take you to the vet, use a flea comb, etc. Chapter 2: METHOD…”
“Kiki, you NEVER purr on my lap! Why are you DOING it?”
“To kill you, human—with KINDNESS!”
“Kiki, you NEVER purr on my lap! Why are you DOING it?”
“To kill you, human—with KINDNESS!”
”Had a premonition you won’t SEE me after today, human!”
“HOW, Kiki?”
“My wet food may have ARSENIC!”
“No! It’s totally SAFE!”
“Or I’ll sink in the litter like QUICKSAND!”
“No! It’s not DEEP!”
“Or I’ll scratch your EYES out, human!”
“No, Kiki! I wear safety goggles…so I’ll SEE you all day!”
“HOW, Kiki?”
“My wet food may have ARSENIC!”
“No! It’s totally SAFE!”
“Or I’ll sink in the litter like QUICKSAND!”
“No! It’s not DEEP!”
“Or I’ll scratch your EYES out, human!”
“No, Kiki! I wear safety goggles…so I’ll SEE you all day!”
November 8, 2025 at 1:07 PM
”Had a premonition you won’t SEE me after today, human!”
“HOW, Kiki?”
“My wet food may have ARSENIC!”
“No! It’s totally SAFE!”
“Or I’ll sink in the litter like QUICKSAND!”
“No! It’s not DEEP!”
“Or I’ll scratch your EYES out, human!”
“No, Kiki! I wear safety goggles…so I’ll SEE you all day!”
“HOW, Kiki?”
“My wet food may have ARSENIC!”
“No! It’s totally SAFE!”
“Or I’ll sink in the litter like QUICKSAND!”
“No! It’s not DEEP!”
“Or I’ll scratch your EYES out, human!”
“No, Kiki! I wear safety goggles…so I’ll SEE you all day!”
“Kiki’s Journal #14: I love to sleep, since I might DREAM! I dream of things I SAW or DID today—but they didn’t make sense when I was awake: staring at food, being petted or seeing birds fly. As I dream, my paws and whiskers TWITCH; my mouth CHATTERS! Because my life’s a DREAM, my dreams are SWEET!”
November 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
“Kiki’s Journal #14: I love to sleep, since I might DREAM! I dream of things I SAW or DID today—but they didn’t make sense when I was awake: staring at food, being petted or seeing birds fly. As I dream, my paws and whiskers TWITCH; my mouth CHATTERS! Because my life’s a DREAM, my dreams are SWEET!”
“Kiki, come out of HIDING! Work crew‘s GONE!”
“I still SMELL them, human!”
“I’ll turn on the FAN to diffuse the scent!”
“I’m never leaving here AGAIN! Bring my kibble, treats, wet food and sandbox to the CLOSET!”
“Kiki, I’ll bring you TREATS—but you gotta face me and the rest of the house soon!”
“I still SMELL them, human!”
“I’ll turn on the FAN to diffuse the scent!”
“I’m never leaving here AGAIN! Bring my kibble, treats, wet food and sandbox to the CLOSET!”
“Kiki, I’ll bring you TREATS—but you gotta face me and the rest of the house soon!”
November 7, 2025 at 6:30 PM
“Kiki, come out of HIDING! Work crew‘s GONE!”
“I still SMELL them, human!”
“I’ll turn on the FAN to diffuse the scent!”
“I’m never leaving here AGAIN! Bring my kibble, treats, wet food and sandbox to the CLOSET!”
“Kiki, I’ll bring you TREATS—but you gotta face me and the rest of the house soon!”
“I still SMELL them, human!”
“I’ll turn on the FAN to diffuse the scent!”
“I’m never leaving here AGAIN! Bring my kibble, treats, wet food and sandbox to the CLOSET!”
“Kiki, I’ll bring you TREATS—but you gotta face me and the rest of the house soon!”
“Kiki, I’m closing the DOOR while I nap! NO interruptions, OK?” (closes door)
“Won’t hear a meow out of ME, human!”
(minutes later) “Human, got no FOOD! I’m HUNGRY! Where…is…my…FOOD?”
(opens door) “Why didn’t you SAY so?…Wait—you HAVE food, Kiki!”
(runs in) “And now I ALSO have the bed, human!”
“Won’t hear a meow out of ME, human!”
(minutes later) “Human, got no FOOD! I’m HUNGRY! Where…is…my…FOOD?”
(opens door) “Why didn’t you SAY so?…Wait—you HAVE food, Kiki!”
(runs in) “And now I ALSO have the bed, human!”
November 7, 2025 at 3:32 PM
“Kiki, I’m closing the DOOR while I nap! NO interruptions, OK?” (closes door)
“Won’t hear a meow out of ME, human!”
(minutes later) “Human, got no FOOD! I’m HUNGRY! Where…is…my…FOOD?”
(opens door) “Why didn’t you SAY so?…Wait—you HAVE food, Kiki!”
(runs in) “And now I ALSO have the bed, human!”
“Won’t hear a meow out of ME, human!”
(minutes later) “Human, got no FOOD! I’m HUNGRY! Where…is…my…FOOD?”
(opens door) “Why didn’t you SAY so?…Wait—you HAVE food, Kiki!”
(runs in) “And now I ALSO have the bed, human!”