think its time for a return to living experimentally lol.. i need to fuck around and find out a little bit

i wish i had someone to like, share excitement about this with though >,< i can't seem to get a conversation about learning a new language whatsoever w my friends lmao.. im looking forward to learning spanish in the same way soon so that i have more opportunities to externalize it

being able to do this is rly making my desktop experience a lot better fr, its like i have something new i can do with my computer that I can't do anywhere else which is a pretty rare feeling sometimes (with windows and the types of software and sites i frequent, anyway)

I cant even joke anymore because this is literally my life, if i have even an hour to myself i become completely lost and can't recover myself without an extreme feat of meditation. Im srs what the hell am i supposed to do when even Thinking completely incapacitates me to a point of utter exhaustion

Yuup... Just stopped watching mushishi to take a shower: INSTANTLY wracked with the horrors, wishing i could throw up. CLASSIC!

shawty just apologized and told me she was seconds away from murdering me and dismembering me until she had a change of heart and apologized and said it was because of her home life and i validated her perspective as a victim and held space for her story

My emotional permanence is literally comparable to a child

if im not like actively talking with someone or fully invested in something my mind begins to wander too much and i have to jingle a different set of keys for my amygdala before it's Too Late