Mallory
@malentine.bsky.social
Therapist by day, nerding out by night. I love literature, trash, and all the middlebrow shit in between.
Current fixations: Life of a Showgirl; Clair Obscur: Expedition 33; Dragon Age: The Veilguard
Current fixations: Life of a Showgirl; Clair Obscur: Expedition 33; Dragon Age: The Veilguard
As an Ohioan who also attended Indiana University, I am feeling many complicated feelings!
December 7, 2025 at 5:35 AM
As an Ohioan who also attended Indiana University, I am feeling many complicated feelings!
Reposted by Mallory
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
August 12, 2023 at 3:47 PM
"no rapping tonight"
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
why?
"you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing"
ok
[after one beer]
uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy
Reposted by Mallory
December 7, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Reposted by Mallory
Reposted by Mallory
deep down, he believes we are all good chaps and he believes it hard enough that everyone wants to live up to it, just a little, just for him
December 6, 2025 at 8:11 PM
deep down, he believes we are all good chaps and he believes it hard enough that everyone wants to live up to it, just a little, just for him
Despite the implication that only men are lonely lately, I am pretty lonely myself these days, and it's still a million times better than being yoked with the wrong person. I never wanted to be this independent *and* it's very comforting to know I can be!
I'm starting to wonder how much "the male loneliness epidemic" is just straight and bisexual women identifying low-effort, mean, and incompetent men and choosing not to date, marry, and tolerate them anymore
December 6, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Despite the implication that only men are lonely lately, I am pretty lonely myself these days, and it's still a million times better than being yoked with the wrong person. I never wanted to be this independent *and* it's very comforting to know I can be!
Reposted by Mallory
Netflix, which rarely carries a single movie from before 1980, wants you to know how thrilled they are to acquire that classic piece of franchise IP, Casablanca
December 6, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Netflix, which rarely carries a single movie from before 1980, wants you to know how thrilled they are to acquire that classic piece of franchise IP, Casablanca
Reposted by Mallory
me: religion is so embarrassing
me listening to John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together: god is real and he made a little frog puppet to tell us to be good to each other
me listening to John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together: god is real and he made a little frog puppet to tell us to be good to each other
December 6, 2025 at 3:18 AM
me: religion is so embarrassing
me listening to John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together: god is real and he made a little frog puppet to tell us to be good to each other
me listening to John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together: god is real and he made a little frog puppet to tell us to be good to each other
Reposted by Mallory
“Don’t replace the culture war with class war” is such a fun way of saying, “Please don’t unionize, I just bought a yacht that parks inside another yacht.”
December 6, 2025 at 11:31 AM
“Don’t replace the culture war with class war” is such a fun way of saying, “Please don’t unionize, I just bought a yacht that parks inside another yacht.”
Reposted by Mallory
Reposted by Mallory
Another gross thing he’s done is make saying Merry Christmas into this culture war bullshit where people can use it like a slur, I’ve always said it to people because that was never a thing you couldn’t say and literally the only time I’ve felt uncomfortable saying it is when shit like this happens
December 6, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Another gross thing he’s done is make saying Merry Christmas into this culture war bullshit where people can use it like a slur, I’ve always said it to people because that was never a thing you couldn’t say and literally the only time I’ve felt uncomfortable saying it is when shit like this happens
Reposted by Mallory
Paul Anka, thanks so much for agreeing to do a rare interview. No one has seen or heard from you in at least 40 years. I know you're a busy man so I'll just get right to the burning question that the world has been dying to know the answer to: What was Frank Sinatra's penis like?
December 6, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Paul Anka, thanks so much for agreeing to do a rare interview. No one has seen or heard from you in at least 40 years. I know you're a busy man so I'll just get right to the burning question that the world has been dying to know the answer to: What was Frank Sinatra's penis like?
Reposted by Mallory
some cats are out there doing some hilarious stuff right now and no human is recording them smdh
December 6, 2025 at 4:15 PM
some cats are out there doing some hilarious stuff right now and no human is recording them smdh
What are y'all's favorite holiday songs? The ones where you know you are in the top 1% of appreciators?
This question inspired by Harry Belafonte's "Mary's Boy Child," which evoked my childhood so immediately and pleasurably this sunny morning
This question inspired by Harry Belafonte's "Mary's Boy Child," which evoked my childhood so immediately and pleasurably this sunny morning
December 6, 2025 at 4:09 PM
What are y'all's favorite holiday songs? The ones where you know you are in the top 1% of appreciators?
This question inspired by Harry Belafonte's "Mary's Boy Child," which evoked my childhood so immediately and pleasurably this sunny morning
This question inspired by Harry Belafonte's "Mary's Boy Child," which evoked my childhood so immediately and pleasurably this sunny morning
Reposted by Mallory
your coworker's ancestors lost the battle of saucourt-en-vimeu and the battle of leuven to a bunch of frankish dirt farmers, opinion discarded
I once got in an argument with a Norwegian coworker who said that America never created any real culture. I pointed out things like jazz and he was like “but really that’s African and Caribbean,” so finally I landed on ranch dressing, and I am proud to confirm that we got that goin for us
December 6, 2025 at 2:50 PM
your coworker's ancestors lost the battle of saucourt-en-vimeu and the battle of leuven to a bunch of frankish dirt farmers, opinion discarded
Reposted by Mallory
it might seem surprising that the people who said “look, let trans people live their lives, but i have Reasonable Concerns about sports and toilets” aren’t up in arms about this, but what you have to remember is that those people who said that are liars who were lying
December 6, 2025 at 12:40 PM
it might seem surprising that the people who said “look, let trans people live their lives, but i have Reasonable Concerns about sports and toilets” aren’t up in arms about this, but what you have to remember is that those people who said that are liars who were lying
Reposted by Mallory
Siccing dogs on people is a slave tracker thing, a Bull Connor thing, a police brutality thing, a jackboot thug thing, an evil abuse of both dog and man which only a fully corrupted spirit could enact.
My constituent, Wilmer, was mauled by an ICE attack dog despite the fact that, as he has consistently explained, he was not resisting arrest or trying to flee—his wife and young children, all U.S. citizens, were forced to watch helplessly as Wilmer was violently attacked and dragged away.
December 6, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Siccing dogs on people is a slave tracker thing, a Bull Connor thing, a police brutality thing, a jackboot thug thing, an evil abuse of both dog and man which only a fully corrupted spirit could enact.
Reposted by Mallory
the "???" is "a larger share of our chattering classes than you think is deep in the throes of a gambling addiction"
This is gambling, and we've essentially decided that it's okay to let it go on entirely unregulated for ??? Reasons.
The co-founder of Kalshi says: " The long-term vision is to financialize everything and create a tradable asset out of any difference in opinion."
December 3, 2025 at 10:38 PM
the "???" is "a larger share of our chattering classes than you think is deep in the throes of a gambling addiction"
Many small things have vexed me this week, but right now I have clean sheets, new flannel pajama pants, a winter-moisturized face, and no need to set an alarm. If this isn't nice, what is?
December 6, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Many small things have vexed me this week, but right now I have clean sheets, new flannel pajama pants, a winter-moisturized face, and no need to set an alarm. If this isn't nice, what is?
Reposted by Mallory
THE WARNER BROTHERS
(AND THE WARNER
SISTER, DOT)
WILL RETURN IN
STRANGER THINGS 6
(AND THE WARNER
SISTER, DOT)
WILL RETURN IN
STRANGER THINGS 6
December 6, 2025 at 4:23 AM
THE WARNER BROTHERS
(AND THE WARNER
SISTER, DOT)
WILL RETURN IN
STRANGER THINGS 6
(AND THE WARNER
SISTER, DOT)
WILL RETURN IN
STRANGER THINGS 6
Reposted by Mallory
Nice reply "owning" me, unfortunately you parsed 2 levels of irony but missed completely the third, wherein it's clear I'm making fun of the persona your reply intended to critique. That being said I'm still hurt to an almost unimaginable degree
November 30, 2024 at 9:58 PM
Nice reply "owning" me, unfortunately you parsed 2 levels of irony but missed completely the third, wherein it's clear I'm making fun of the persona your reply intended to critique. That being said I'm still hurt to an almost unimaginable degree
Reposted by Mallory
But wait a second, the only way this would automatically spit out porn is if that’s what everyone who claims it’s for productivity was secretly using it for
This was just sent to me by an LAUSD parent. A 4th grader was assigned to design a book cover for Pippi Longstocking using Adobe for Education. Here is what the AI tool generated:
December 6, 2025 at 3:13 AM
But wait a second, the only way this would automatically spit out porn is if that’s what everyone who claims it’s for productivity was secretly using it for
Reposted by Mallory
part of the reason i've got such contempt for the doomerism around "they don't think they'll have to win an election again" is that this belief — which i agree some of them hold — critically endangers the entire project, it doesn't strengthen it. they are incapable of shifting strategy or pivoting.
it is actually a major fucking political problem for this administration that they have key decision makers who believe the GOP will never have to win a fair election again
December 6, 2025 at 2:36 AM
part of the reason i've got such contempt for the doomerism around "they don't think they'll have to win an election again" is that this belief — which i agree some of them hold — critically endangers the entire project, it doesn't strengthen it. they are incapable of shifting strategy or pivoting.
Reposted by Mallory
Were the book sales worth it @jaketapper.bsky.social?
You really are an insufferable sellout.
You really are an insufferable sellout.
Biden never slept through meetings but Jake Tapper wrote a whole book about how he was too old.
December 6, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Were the book sales worth it @jaketapper.bsky.social?
You really are an insufferable sellout.
You really are an insufferable sellout.
Reposted by Mallory
the thing is, they've turned everything immigration-related to stephen miller, who has never run for office, has never held an elected position, and who could not win a popularity contest consisting solely of members of his own household. he is indifferent to the future of the republican party.
it is absolutely unbelievable that the Trump administration is systematically persecuting Cubans and Venezuelans, the most Republican Latinos in the US. what are they doing
December 6, 2025 at 2:27 AM
the thing is, they've turned everything immigration-related to stephen miller, who has never run for office, has never held an elected position, and who could not win a popularity contest consisting solely of members of his own household. he is indifferent to the future of the republican party.