ℳatt
@matttomic.bsky.social
Uncool adult. From the other site.
My friend's kid has been in the hospital. I wanted to make him something. He likes soccer, and he likes food. So I wrote & drew him a silly little book called THE SOCCER SANDWICH.
Here, let me read it to you!
Here, let me read it to you!
November 28, 2025 at 11:41 PM
My friend's kid has been in the hospital. I wanted to make him something. He likes soccer, and he likes food. So I wrote & drew him a silly little book called THE SOCCER SANDWICH.
Here, let me read it to you!
Here, let me read it to you!
Here's another vintage Smirnoff ad from 1977 advertising two ways to serve vodka at a dinner party: a vodka soda (possibly the most normal cocktail in existence) and vodka mixed with cold beef bouillon (a product of a generation raised on lead paint)
November 28, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Here's another vintage Smirnoff ad from 1977 advertising two ways to serve vodka at a dinner party: a vodka soda (possibly the most normal cocktail in existence) and vodka mixed with cold beef bouillon (a product of a generation raised on lead paint)
In the 1960s there was a brief fad for a cocktail called The Bullshot containing beef broth, vodka, and worcestershire sauce.
Both Campbell's Soup and Smirnoff vodka put out magazine ads advertising the drink
Both Campbell's Soup and Smirnoff vodka put out magazine ads advertising the drink
November 28, 2025 at 8:01 PM
In the 1960s there was a brief fad for a cocktail called The Bullshot containing beef broth, vodka, and worcestershire sauce.
Both Campbell's Soup and Smirnoff vodka put out magazine ads advertising the drink
Both Campbell's Soup and Smirnoff vodka put out magazine ads advertising the drink
Erika Kirk is really gonna claim she was secretly pregnant with Charlie's baby even when the kid comes out the womb looking like this
November 28, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Erika Kirk is really gonna claim she was secretly pregnant with Charlie's baby even when the kid comes out the womb looking like this
These are the world curling rankings 14 years ago, and today.
Look at the change in Canadian flags. It's remarkable how much the rest of the world has caught up to Canada in the past decade, on both the men's and women's side.
Look at the change in Canadian flags. It's remarkable how much the rest of the world has caught up to Canada in the past decade, on both the men's and women's side.
November 28, 2025 at 5:29 PM
These are the world curling rankings 14 years ago, and today.
Look at the change in Canadian flags. It's remarkable how much the rest of the world has caught up to Canada in the past decade, on both the men's and women's side.
Look at the change in Canadian flags. It's remarkable how much the rest of the world has caught up to Canada in the past decade, on both the men's and women's side.
So in other words Justin Bieber... went... golfing?
November 26, 2025 at 10:46 PM
So in other words Justin Bieber... went... golfing?
Canada sacrificed 6/7 of our hockey teams at the blood sacrifice altar so that our baseball and basketball team could live
November 26, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Canada sacrificed 6/7 of our hockey teams at the blood sacrifice altar so that our baseball and basketball team could live
America if everyone could simply have a beer on the train instead of having to wait in TSA for a delayed Southwest Airlines flight that transfers in Dallas
November 26, 2025 at 9:03 PM
America if everyone could simply have a beer on the train instead of having to wait in TSA for a delayed Southwest Airlines flight that transfers in Dallas
What taking rail transit instead of flying ONCE does to a person
November 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
What taking rail transit instead of flying ONCE does to a person
this old guy's truck is the correct energy to have as a retiree
November 26, 2025 at 5:56 PM
this old guy's truck is the correct energy to have as a retiree
As part of the Raptors' 8-game win streak, the team posts a locker room victory photo after each game, and my favourite ongoing bit is how Gradey Dick hits the exact same tough-guy pose in the same spot in all of them
November 26, 2025 at 3:01 PM
As part of the Raptors' 8-game win streak, the team posts a locker room victory photo after each game, and my favourite ongoing bit is how Gradey Dick hits the exact same tough-guy pose in the same spot in all of them
They did live tracking in Texas Republican focus groups as they read out the Shamwow Guy's bio, and it tested through the ROOF
November 25, 2025 at 12:36 AM
They did live tracking in Texas Republican focus groups as they read out the Shamwow Guy's bio, and it tested through the ROOF
Worth noting for the urban planning sickos in the crowd that a couple years ago this intersection had a glow-up and is now a much-improved peanut-shaped rotary.
I think it looks perfectly fine now, but the people of Worcester are still holding a grudge so bad it's carrying over into AAA baseball
I think it looks perfectly fine now, but the people of Worcester are still holding a grudge so bad it's carrying over into AAA baseball
November 24, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Worth noting for the urban planning sickos in the crowd that a couple years ago this intersection had a glow-up and is now a much-improved peanut-shaped rotary.
I think it looks perfectly fine now, but the people of Worcester are still holding a grudge so bad it's carrying over into AAA baseball
I think it looks perfectly fine now, but the people of Worcester are still holding a grudge so bad it's carrying over into AAA baseball
Is there anything more American than a minor league baseball team rebranding itself after the road rage they experience at a specific poorly-designed 6-way intersection
November 24, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Is there anything more American than a minor league baseball team rebranding itself after the road rage they experience at a specific poorly-designed 6-way intersection
Amidst two MLB players being criminally charged for colluding with gamblers, a reminder that in order to watch 9 MLB teams you need to watch a cable channel literally named after an online gambling app
November 24, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Amidst two MLB players being criminally charged for colluding with gamblers, a reminder that in order to watch 9 MLB teams you need to watch a cable channel literally named after an online gambling app
All along I only knew about the Us Festival from a joke in the Simpsons, I just looked it up, I had no idea he just straight-up blew $24 million in losses on both shows
November 22, 2025 at 12:53 PM
All along I only knew about the Us Festival from a joke in the Simpsons, I just looked it up, I had no idea he just straight-up blew $24 million in losses on both shows
Couple more thoughts
1. Our post-COVID immigration boom is entirely driven by temporary residents, largely either foreign students or work permits for foreign students
2. This is not "Leftist policy" it's pure capitalism from colleges to get $
3. The Liberals already slashed foreign student caps
1. Our post-COVID immigration boom is entirely driven by temporary residents, largely either foreign students or work permits for foreign students
2. This is not "Leftist policy" it's pure capitalism from colleges to get $
3. The Liberals already slashed foreign student caps
November 21, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Couple more thoughts
1. Our post-COVID immigration boom is entirely driven by temporary residents, largely either foreign students or work permits for foreign students
2. This is not "Leftist policy" it's pure capitalism from colleges to get $
3. The Liberals already slashed foreign student caps
1. Our post-COVID immigration boom is entirely driven by temporary residents, largely either foreign students or work permits for foreign students
2. This is not "Leftist policy" it's pure capitalism from colleges to get $
3. The Liberals already slashed foreign student caps
Bell Let's Talk Day is coming up in two months! Remember to talk about mental health that day but please absolutely do not talk about the mental health of the 700 Bell employees that just got laid off a month before Christmas
November 20, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Bell Let's Talk Day is coming up in two months! Remember to talk about mental health that day but please absolutely do not talk about the mental health of the 700 Bell employees that just got laid off a month before Christmas
I'm sorry but
"Raise hands up if fan of Maple Leaf family / Last year that the Buds clutched the cup of Stanley"
is just objectively terrible bars
"Raise hands up if fan of Maple Leaf family / Last year that the Buds clutched the cup of Stanley"
is just objectively terrible bars
November 20, 2025 at 6:34 PM
I'm sorry but
"Raise hands up if fan of Maple Leaf family / Last year that the Buds clutched the cup of Stanley"
is just objectively terrible bars
"Raise hands up if fan of Maple Leaf family / Last year that the Buds clutched the cup of Stanley"
is just objectively terrible bars
Headlines That Look Like Shitposts
November 20, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Headlines That Look Like Shitposts
There's a new bookstore in Toronto that just sells romance novels, and they've put stickers on each book indicating the book's "spice level" from 1 to 5 chili peppers
November 20, 2025 at 5:14 PM
There's a new bookstore in Toronto that just sells romance novels, and they've put stickers on each book indicating the book's "spice level" from 1 to 5 chili peppers
They're calling him the World's Least Suspicious Lawyer
(this is from an unrelated story in 2017 where he was investigated for smuggling his client's letters out of jail to sway witnesses in a murder trial)
(this is from an unrelated story in 2017 where he was investigated for smuggling his client's letters out of jail to sway witnesses in a murder trial)
November 19, 2025 at 6:08 PM
They're calling him the World's Least Suspicious Lawyer
(this is from an unrelated story in 2017 where he was investigated for smuggling his client's letters out of jail to sway witnesses in a murder trial)
(this is from an unrelated story in 2017 where he was investigated for smuggling his client's letters out of jail to sway witnesses in a murder trial)