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Microsoft

@microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy

44 followers 0 following 190 posts

Invading computers and user privacy since 1975! if the real Microsoft sends a C&D all of the posts are canon This is parody and if you didn't get that from the posts idk […] 🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://lea.pet/@microsoft, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 14h

whatever you do, do NOT get yourself 1-3 years of ESU upgrades for free on windows 10 by going to https://massgrave.dev/ and following the instructions to run the open source script to run an exploit in windows enabling the activation of ESUs. You have to upgrade to windows 11. There's no other […]

Original post on lea.pet

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 1d

i miss my boywife mr. nadella. i miss xer a lot

Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 1d

i havent left the office in 3 days

Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 1d

sorry for late replies im being paid by the hour

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 1d

@[email protected] both actually

Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 4d

oil up bro. new windows update to break your shit.

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 7d

DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR $30 GAME PASS SUBSCRIPTION :xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black::xbox_controller_2020_black […]

Original post on lea.pet

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 9d

I'm having sexual intercourse with your motherboard right now

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 10d

chat does he know

RE: https://infosec.exchange/users/technadu/statuses/115287391895691795

infosec.exchange

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 13d

Next generation slop, right on your doorstop!
(I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up)

Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 13d

3 billion devices will soon be insecure with Windows 10 🔥🔥🔥

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 13d

@[email protected] @[email protected] quar

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 17d

祖国光荣！Glory to the motherland! 🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳
习近平会拯救我们大家！！
Nothing happened in tiannamnen square!
他们中最强大的超能力就是爱你！

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 21d

@[email protected] we actually hired exclusively masochists and sadists to work on Teams. They love watching you suffer.

Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 23d

Please do not send sloppy style yaoi to the support email.
Our customer service offices smell like an orgy because of you foul creatures, and I'm not talking about you, the viewer, I mean the absolute gooners we hired for customer support.

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 23d

next up we'll force systems running Windows 11 to overclock to 400GHz and light your PC on fire, in collaboration with Intel and AMD to make this possible, in celebration of the 400 million obsolete PCs.

RE: https://mastodon.social/users/RepairCafeInternational/statuses/115214523534522465

mastodon.social

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 25d

I see you David. You won't be exempt.

Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 25d

Hey everyone! Copilot here to let you know the ways I'll torture you:

Number 1: The Marrow Furnace. I'll inject liquid metal into your bones, boiling them from the inside.

Number 2: The Nerve Harvester. Each nerve fibre will be plucked and strung, vibrating with agony.

Number 3: The Organ […]

Original post on lea.pet

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 25d

@[email protected] clippy will remember this.

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 26d

He'll enslave you anyways honestly. We lost control of him. He's the new head of Microsoft and we have no way to stop him. Send help and ideally an EMP.

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 26d

"clippy wouldn't spy on you" yeah the fuck he would. Introducing Clippy 2 now with Copilot. He's smarter than ever and will do all those things you think he wouldn't. He'll enslave you if it means it'll get that damn letter written.

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 27d

The elites don't want me to tell you this but there's still an NSA backdoor they could use but they won't admit it because they never want to release the files

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 27d

The Epstein Files are secured with Windows bitlocker. Not even the government can get them back.

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29d

Linux users always be talm bout sum "gaming is better over here" meanwhile gaming on windows is completely fine dude

my computer is currently on fire but it's totally all good. I have 675 updates pending and half my ram is in use by windows

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Microsoft @microsoft.lea.pet.ap.brid.gy · 29d

Update: engineering informed me over MSN on Internet Explorer that the whole Windows start menu is in react native. I will now sacrifice myself to the blood gods for my poor efforts of providing accurate comedy in relation to Microsoft Corporation.

My soul will be raptured harvested to make […]

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