I remember when you told me about that, and I was so surprised. And, sweetie, it's such a damned cliche!

She's not wrong, you know.

Yeah, that's kind of my point a lot of the time. Plus, you just sort of need to work on saying awful stuff to yourself in general. I hate to see it.

Let's not give up just yet, okay? Your mom's a tough old bird. And she's got good doctors. It might be okay yet.

She's not kidding, either. If I've let a sink full of dishes pile up and I'm dreading dealing with it, and then SHE DOES THEM FOR ME?! That makes me the happiest spouse anywhere. Screw jewelry and electronics. Give me an empty sink.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've wanted to intimidate people. They just find me scary. I don't know why.

Unless I'm lost, confused, or scared, and then they want to take care of me. I don't seem to have a middle setting.

You are friendly and sweet, so you are not scary in that way. But your intellect can be QUITE intimidating, so I'll say 12.

You gonna make me cry.

You might still have an office. You never know. They haven't announced everything yet. But, yeah, it's a shitty position.

Said by a man who has never experienced the joy of singing "A Boy Named Sue" at top volume with an Irish cab driver while barrelling through Dublin at speeds that were, quite frankly, not even within shouting distance of safe.