Matt Tobey
@mtobey.bsky.social
Past: Comedy Central, The Onion
Future: Dead
📍Michigan
He/him
Future: Dead
📍Michigan
He/him
Detective @frankypelvis.bsky.social and I just blew this case wide open
October 21, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Detective @frankypelvis.bsky.social and I just blew this case wide open
No kings except this guy
October 19, 2025 at 7:36 PM
No kings except this guy
22 year olds love to call their car a "vehicle" and their dad "my old man"
![I'm wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle.... I'm worried what my old man would do if I didn't bring back grandpas rifle ... idek if it had a serial number, but it wouldn't trace to me. I worry about prints I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. didn't have the ability or time to bring it with.... I might have to abandon it and hope they don't find prints. how the [expletive] will I explain losing it to my old man....](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:xcusvp2wc35shtomqxy2engr/bafkreiae5a4u6zh24ejjcmwrgroasivx6nststuiamq2es7gkjayw3dr5e@jpeg)
September 16, 2025 at 8:23 PM
22 year olds love to call their car a "vehicle" and their dad "my old man"
You'll laugh your head off
August 19, 2025 at 7:59 PM
You'll laugh your head off
Fill my days with cake water & sunshine
July 17, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Fill my days with cake water & sunshine
I love da movies, baby
June 25, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I love da movies, baby
Cool sign but why is it on the front of a dumpster?
May 2, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Cool sign but why is it on the front of a dumpster?
New euphemism for taking a shit just dropped
February 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
New euphemism for taking a shit just dropped
I really loved Strawberry Mansion. I wish my name was Kentucker Audley
January 27, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I really loved Strawberry Mansion. I wish my name was Kentucker Audley
Hey we saw you across the arcade and thought you seem really mature for your age
January 25, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Hey we saw you across the arcade and thought you seem really mature for your age
I didn’t even know he was doing porn
January 8, 2025 at 4:50 PM
I didn’t even know he was doing porn
These are the Olsen twins
January 8, 2025 at 4:31 PM
These are the Olsen twins
When you say “Elizabeth Olsen” this is what appears in my mind, and that will not change
January 8, 2025 at 4:12 PM
When you say “Elizabeth Olsen” this is what appears in my mind, and that will not change
My music taste runs the gamut from “Sad But Horny” to “Horny But Sad”
January 2, 2025 at 7:15 PM
My music taste runs the gamut from “Sad But Horny” to “Horny But Sad”
That naughty old elf must be one mean bastard
December 25, 2024 at 8:24 PM
That naughty old elf must be one mean bastard
