Felix Munch
@patheticmagic.bsky.social
[Parody account, not affliated with mentioned media.]
[... He seems to snuzzle a bit closer to Patches, moving his chair.]
M-Maybe I-I'm just trying to make f-friends? O-Or, I don't k-know...
M-Maybe I-I'm just trying to make f-friends? O-Or, I don't k-know...
July 16, 2025 at 6:32 PM
[... He seems to snuzzle a bit closer to Patches, moving his chair.]
M-Maybe I-I'm just trying to make f-friends? O-Or, I don't k-know...
M-Maybe I-I'm just trying to make f-friends? O-Or, I don't k-know...
[Felix's tail swishes left and right very slowly.]
N-No! I-I... Eurrghh.. I um... H-Hey! I-I'm not flirting! Or trying to flatter you!
[The cat's basically melting face, and his nonstop blushing proves otherwise.]
[+]
N-No! I-I... Eurrghh.. I um... H-Hey! I-I'm not flirting! Or trying to flatter you!
[The cat's basically melting face, and his nonstop blushing proves otherwise.]
[+]
July 16, 2025 at 6:32 PM
[Felix's tail swishes left and right very slowly.]
N-No! I-I... Eurrghh.. I um... H-Hey! I-I'm not flirting! Or trying to flatter you!
[The cat's basically melting face, and his nonstop blushing proves otherwise.]
[+]
N-No! I-I... Eurrghh.. I um... H-Hey! I-I'm not flirting! Or trying to flatter you!
[The cat's basically melting face, and his nonstop blushing proves otherwise.]
[+]
W-What?! I'm not flirting with anyone-!!
[Felix slowly puts his paw on the table, tapping against it.]
I guess... I-I've been told I'm quite nervous... F-For a while.
... Is it really flirting if I just told you, you look nice?
[Felix slowly puts his paw on the table, tapping against it.]
I guess... I-I've been told I'm quite nervous... F-For a while.
... Is it really flirting if I just told you, you look nice?
July 12, 2025 at 9:14 PM
W-What?! I'm not flirting with anyone-!!
[Felix slowly puts his paw on the table, tapping against it.]
I guess... I-I've been told I'm quite nervous... F-For a while.
... Is it really flirting if I just told you, you look nice?
[Felix slowly puts his paw on the table, tapping against it.]
I guess... I-I've been told I'm quite nervous... F-For a while.
... Is it really flirting if I just told you, you look nice?
" N-No! Ugh... F-Fine, I'll be less judgemental from now on! "
[Felix drinks a bit more, looking at Patches.]
" I-I guess I-I like your style? A-And hair... A-And warm paws... "
[He trails off, shaking his head.]
" Y-Y-You're nice, is a-all i mean! "
[Felix drinks a bit more, looking at Patches.]
" I-I guess I-I like your style? A-And hair... A-And warm paws... "
[He trails off, shaking his head.]
" Y-Y-You're nice, is a-all i mean! "
June 30, 2025 at 2:12 AM
" N-No! Ugh... F-Fine, I'll be less judgemental from now on! "
[Felix drinks a bit more, looking at Patches.]
" I-I guess I-I like your style? A-And hair... A-And warm paws... "
[He trails off, shaking his head.]
" Y-Y-You're nice, is a-all i mean! "
[Felix drinks a bit more, looking at Patches.]
" I-I guess I-I like your style? A-And hair... A-And warm paws... "
[He trails off, shaking his head.]
" Y-Y-You're nice, is a-all i mean! "
" A-And s-so? W-We b-barely know e-each other yet! "
[Felix sighs, drinking a little bit more of his Vanilla milkshake.]
" J-Just... T-T-Thanks for the d-drink, t-that's one of the kind things you did... "
[His stuttering grows heavier, he's probably gonna have a heart attack soon.]
[Felix sighs, drinking a little bit more of his Vanilla milkshake.]
" J-Just... T-T-Thanks for the d-drink, t-that's one of the kind things you did... "
[His stuttering grows heavier, he's probably gonna have a heart attack soon.]
June 29, 2025 at 1:40 AM
" A-And s-so? W-We b-barely know e-each other yet! "
[Felix sighs, drinking a little bit more of his Vanilla milkshake.]
" J-Just... T-T-Thanks for the d-drink, t-that's one of the kind things you did... "
[His stuttering grows heavier, he's probably gonna have a heart attack soon.]
[Felix sighs, drinking a little bit more of his Vanilla milkshake.]
" J-Just... T-T-Thanks for the d-drink, t-that's one of the kind things you did... "
[His stuttering grows heavier, he's probably gonna have a heart attack soon.]
[Felix quickly shoots back and starts shaking a little as he looks at Patches, he's starting to crumble like a cookie...]
" Y-Y-You k-know I-I d-don't run away with peoples money! T-That's absurd! "
" A-A-And I'm not humoring a-anyone! L-Let alone a d-dog w-with such tactics... "
" Y-Y-You k-know I-I d-don't run away with peoples money! T-That's absurd! "
" A-A-And I'm not humoring a-anyone! L-Let alone a d-dog w-with such tactics... "
June 28, 2025 at 4:21 AM
[Felix quickly shoots back and starts shaking a little as he looks at Patches, he's starting to crumble like a cookie...]
" Y-Y-You k-know I-I d-don't run away with peoples money! T-That's absurd! "
" A-A-And I'm not humoring a-anyone! L-Let alone a d-dog w-with such tactics... "
" Y-Y-You k-know I-I d-don't run away with peoples money! T-That's absurd! "
" A-A-And I'm not humoring a-anyone! L-Let alone a d-dog w-with such tactics... "
[Felix starts drinking gently, cleaning his lips after he got enough.]
" I-I just f-feel like I'm ruining y-your day by being here and I s-should just... L-Leave. "
[He seems to tense up after that confession.]
" I-It's no-nothing to do with you! W-Well, m-maybe a little b-but-- "
" I-I just f-feel like I'm ruining y-your day by being here and I s-should just... L-Leave. "
[He seems to tense up after that confession.]
" I-It's no-nothing to do with you! W-Well, m-maybe a little b-but-- "
June 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
[Felix starts drinking gently, cleaning his lips after he got enough.]
" I-I just f-feel like I'm ruining y-your day by being here and I s-should just... L-Leave. "
[He seems to tense up after that confession.]
" I-It's no-nothing to do with you! W-Well, m-maybe a little b-but-- "
" I-I just f-feel like I'm ruining y-your day by being here and I s-should just... L-Leave. "
[He seems to tense up after that confession.]
" I-It's no-nothing to do with you! W-Well, m-maybe a little b-but-- "
" O-Okay... Could you get o-one of those for me? "
[Felix takes his chair a bit further from Patches. He seems visibly upset that this is all probably going to hell and not gonna end how he wants it to.]
[... He seems to prefer to be quiet until his drink arrives as he stares away.]
[Felix takes his chair a bit further from Patches. He seems visibly upset that this is all probably going to hell and not gonna end how he wants it to.]
[... He seems to prefer to be quiet until his drink arrives as he stares away.]
June 28, 2025 at 3:25 AM
" O-Okay... Could you get o-one of those for me? "
[Felix takes his chair a bit further from Patches. He seems visibly upset that this is all probably going to hell and not gonna end how he wants it to.]
[... He seems to prefer to be quiet until his drink arrives as he stares away.]
[Felix takes his chair a bit further from Patches. He seems visibly upset that this is all probably going to hell and not gonna end how he wants it to.]
[... He seems to prefer to be quiet until his drink arrives as he stares away.]
W-WHAT?! I-I t-totally d-didn't mean you, u-um...
[Felix starts to sweat more, backing off slightly.]
M-Maybe I-I meant you... B-But it's nothing serious, I-I swear!
[Felix starts to sweat more, backing off slightly.]
M-Maybe I-I meant you... B-But it's nothing serious, I-I swear!
May 23, 2025 at 1:05 AM
W-WHAT?! I-I t-totally d-didn't mean you, u-um...
[Felix starts to sweat more, backing off slightly.]
M-Maybe I-I meant you... B-But it's nothing serious, I-I swear!
[Felix starts to sweat more, backing off slightly.]
M-Maybe I-I meant you... B-But it's nothing serious, I-I swear!
I-I w-wish that dalmatian w-would notice us m-more often... H-He's quite scary, sure! B-But... H-He's cute in s-some way... Like the s-sight of a well-taken c-cactus!
[Talk about a 'puppy' crush...]
[Talk about a 'puppy' crush...]
May 22, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I-I w-wish that dalmatian w-would notice us m-more often... H-He's quite scary, sure! B-But... H-He's cute in s-some way... Like the s-sight of a well-taken c-cactus!
[Talk about a 'puppy' crush...]
[Talk about a 'puppy' crush...]
O-Oh, yes, Patchie! M-My sincerest apologies...
[The book was basically done. Felix slowly gets up. He looks at Patches, smiling to himself and still blushing.]
I-I'll see you around! O-Or not... T-The book was great, also!
[Felix slowly walks up to the door, ready to open it.]
[The book was basically done. Felix slowly gets up. He looks at Patches, smiling to himself and still blushing.]
I-I'll see you around! O-Or not... T-The book was great, also!
[Felix slowly walks up to the door, ready to open it.]
May 12, 2025 at 7:31 PM
O-Oh, yes, Patchie! M-My sincerest apologies...
[The book was basically done. Felix slowly gets up. He looks at Patches, smiling to himself and still blushing.]
I-I'll see you around! O-Or not... T-The book was great, also!
[Felix slowly walks up to the door, ready to open it.]
[The book was basically done. Felix slowly gets up. He looks at Patches, smiling to himself and still blushing.]
I-I'll see you around! O-Or not... T-The book was great, also!
[Felix slowly walks up to the door, ready to open it.]
[Felix just seems to jump back as Patches puts his paw on his shoulder, lifting his head up in the process.]
I-I-I... Whuh...
[He was genuinely out of words, so he just listens and breathes slowly.]
I-I'm sorry... I-I-I'm just emotional with those types o-of things, is all...
I-I-I... Whuh...
[He was genuinely out of words, so he just listens and breathes slowly.]
I-I'm sorry... I-I-I'm just emotional with those types o-of things, is all...
May 4, 2025 at 9:59 AM
[Felix just seems to jump back as Patches puts his paw on his shoulder, lifting his head up in the process.]
I-I-I... Whuh...
[He was genuinely out of words, so he just listens and breathes slowly.]
I-I'm sorry... I-I-I'm just emotional with those types o-of things, is all...
I-I-I... Whuh...
[He was genuinely out of words, so he just listens and breathes slowly.]
I-I'm sorry... I-I-I'm just emotional with those types o-of things, is all...
N-N-No mister-!!
[Felix closes his eyes and cleans his tears, trying to keep his calm.]
I-I'm s-sorry... I just t-thought this all was j-just going so well a-and I...
[This, poor, pathetic thing can't even properly make sentences anymore.]
S-Sniff...
[Felix closes his eyes and cleans his tears, trying to keep his calm.]
I-I'm s-sorry... I just t-thought this all was j-just going so well a-and I...
[This, poor, pathetic thing can't even properly make sentences anymore.]
S-Sniff...
May 1, 2025 at 9:07 PM
N-N-No mister-!!
[Felix closes his eyes and cleans his tears, trying to keep his calm.]
I-I'm s-sorry... I just t-thought this all was j-just going so well a-and I...
[This, poor, pathetic thing can't even properly make sentences anymore.]
S-Sniff...
[Felix closes his eyes and cleans his tears, trying to keep his calm.]
I-I'm s-sorry... I just t-thought this all was j-just going so well a-and I...
[This, poor, pathetic thing can't even properly make sentences anymore.]
S-Sniff...
[Felix instantly reaches for his wand and aims it out the window the instant he hears an unfamiliar voice.]
W-Who's t-there...?
[His grip tightens on his wand as he holds it firmly to where the voice came from.]
W-Who's t-there...?
[His grip tightens on his wand as he holds it firmly to where the voice came from.]
April 27, 2025 at 6:02 PM
[Felix instantly reaches for his wand and aims it out the window the instant he hears an unfamiliar voice.]
W-Who's t-there...?
[His grip tightens on his wand as he holds it firmly to where the voice came from.]
W-Who's t-there...?
[His grip tightens on his wand as he holds it firmly to where the voice came from.]
[Felix just stares at the situation, holding Inky firmly between his paws, clueless as to whether help or just see if this situation gets worse.]
/ / repost cause I forgot the tail was disconnected...
/ / repost cause I forgot the tail was disconnected...
April 27, 2025 at 6:01 PM
[Felix just stares at the situation, holding Inky firmly between his paws, clueless as to whether help or just see if this situation gets worse.]
/ / repost cause I forgot the tail was disconnected...
/ / repost cause I forgot the tail was disconnected...
[Felix just stares at the awfully silent outside from the closest window, just the trees being blown, the wind getting swifter over time, but nothing ever really disrupts the quiet nature... He seems to be at peace, though.]
T-This could go well with a book...
T-This could go well with a book...
April 27, 2025 at 12:59 PM
[Felix just stares at the awfully silent outside from the closest window, just the trees being blown, the wind getting swifter over time, but nothing ever really disrupts the quiet nature... He seems to be at peace, though.]
T-This could go well with a book...
T-This could go well with a book...
I-I know, it's j-just someone else with knifes...
[Felix slowly side eyes the wall.]
B-But I-I guess he's kind of natural now, b-but still! One mistake c-could be fatal, Whisks...
[Felix slowly side eyes the wall.]
B-But I-I guess he's kind of natural now, b-but still! One mistake c-could be fatal, Whisks...
April 25, 2025 at 11:56 PM
I-I know, it's j-just someone else with knifes...
[Felix slowly side eyes the wall.]
B-But I-I guess he's kind of natural now, b-but still! One mistake c-could be fatal, Whisks...
[Felix slowly side eyes the wall.]
B-But I-I guess he's kind of natural now, b-but still! One mistake c-could be fatal, Whisks...
I-I-I don't think we should e-encourage the use of throwing sharp, pointy darts at a target... E-Especially around those d-dogs...
April 25, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I-I-I don't think we should e-encourage the use of throwing sharp, pointy darts at a target... E-Especially around those d-dogs...
I-I don't k-know i-if I can agree on t-that... I--
[Felix starts to stutter even more, his voice progressively gets weaker before, undeniably, tears start to form out of his eyes... He tries to keep quiet, not to bother Patches or anything, so he puts his paws over his face.]
[Felix starts to stutter even more, his voice progressively gets weaker before, undeniably, tears start to form out of his eyes... He tries to keep quiet, not to bother Patches or anything, so he puts his paws over his face.]
April 24, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I-I don't k-know i-if I can agree on t-that... I--
[Felix starts to stutter even more, his voice progressively gets weaker before, undeniably, tears start to form out of his eyes... He tries to keep quiet, not to bother Patches or anything, so he puts his paws over his face.]
[Felix starts to stutter even more, his voice progressively gets weaker before, undeniably, tears start to form out of his eyes... He tries to keep quiet, not to bother Patches or anything, so he puts his paws over his face.]
W-Well, i-if that's what you want to believe!
[Felix seems to get more comfortable with Patches, but keeps his focus on the book. He slowly sits closer to Patches.]
I-I'm not too keen on this stuff; I'm mostly u-used to decoding ancient books and studying... I-I wouldn't know much about that..
[Felix seems to get more comfortable with Patches, but keeps his focus on the book. He slowly sits closer to Patches.]
I-I'm not too keen on this stuff; I'm mostly u-used to decoding ancient books and studying... I-I wouldn't know much about that..
April 24, 2025 at 9:21 AM
W-Well, i-if that's what you want to believe!
[Felix seems to get more comfortable with Patches, but keeps his focus on the book. He slowly sits closer to Patches.]
I-I'm not too keen on this stuff; I'm mostly u-used to decoding ancient books and studying... I-I wouldn't know much about that..
[Felix seems to get more comfortable with Patches, but keeps his focus on the book. He slowly sits closer to Patches.]
I-I'm not too keen on this stuff; I'm mostly u-used to decoding ancient books and studying... I-I wouldn't know much about that..
... N-Not to try and antagonize y-you, but I'm not sure t-the owner of a lost limb t-that is probably dead would ever have use with that l-lost limb...
Let alone c-come here and say it's theirs, because you know... They're probably dead..
Let alone c-come here and say it's theirs, because you know... They're probably dead..
April 23, 2025 at 9:01 PM
... N-Not to try and antagonize y-you, but I'm not sure t-the owner of a lost limb t-that is probably dead would ever have use with that l-lost limb...
Let alone c-come here and say it's theirs, because you know... They're probably dead..
Let alone c-come here and say it's theirs, because you know... They're probably dead..
Well, I suppose if i-it's already been d-dead for such long periods of time, t-trying to find the d-d-dog that lost it would be a waste of time, reviving d-dogs and cats after their bodies rot for long, extended periods of time just result in them suffering more alive, as you m-may know...
April 23, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Well, I suppose if i-it's already been d-dead for such long periods of time, t-trying to find the d-d-dog that lost it would be a waste of time, reviving d-dogs and cats after their bodies rot for long, extended periods of time just result in them suffering more alive, as you m-may know...
[Felix sits down with his legs crossed and with a book labelled 'Thousand Years of Dogs', but... Slowly the 'label' starts to slide, and then it reveals to just be another ancient book that he PROBABLY shouldn't have got his paws on.]
C-Crap!
[He quickly reaches back for it.]
C-Crap!
[He quickly reaches back for it.]
April 23, 2025 at 6:01 PM
[Felix sits down with his legs crossed and with a book labelled 'Thousand Years of Dogs', but... Slowly the 'label' starts to slide, and then it reveals to just be another ancient book that he PROBABLY shouldn't have got his paws on.]
C-Crap!
[He quickly reaches back for it.]
C-Crap!
[He quickly reaches back for it.]
H-H-How can you be so calm even with knowing someone's leg was just out there with no explanation to it whatsoever...?
April 23, 2025 at 5:54 PM
H-H-How can you be so calm even with knowing someone's leg was just out there with no explanation to it whatsoever...?