Patrick Johanneson 🚀 🇨🇦
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patrickjohanneson.com
Patrick Johanneson 🚀 🇨🇦
@patrickjohanneson.com
1.6K followers 2.7K following 8.9K posts
Part-time prevaricator.

He/him 🇨🇦

https://patrickjohanneson.com/

Avatar by @badguybirnie.bsky.social's kid
Ukrainian wheat field header by Alex @aplante.com Plante


I'm also on Mastodon — https://mstdn.ca/@pjohanneson
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patrickjohanneson.com
all hilarious fuckups must end
A note now appearing on the article on Time.com: Correction, November 28 The original version of this story incorrectly attributed a quote from a satirical site to Pete Hoekstra, the U.S. Ambassador to Canada.
November 29, 2025 at 2:48 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
Rev. Lovejoy saying to Ned Flanders, "Short answer 'yes' with an 'if'; long answer 'no' with a 'but'."
November 27, 2025 at 8:24 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
"Biggest influence" is arguable, but this one opened me up to music well outside my comfort zone at the time.
The cover of Voivod's album Nothingface: a 1980s-era computer graphic featuring a blank-faced mannequin head in pink, with no mouth and closed eyes, with pipes leading into and out of it, on a blue background
November 27, 2025 at 6:41 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
Some of what I wrote tonight.

#AmWriting #PrairieSFF #WeeknightWriters
Winter settled over the land outside, deepened, then began to recede. The piles of snow sagged, thinned, vanished into trickles of water, streams that dried. Leaves reappeared here and there, then everywhere. One stair brought a raging thunderstorm, a nightmare of flickering electricity that set my teeth on edge, and the next few stairs looked out on a drowned village: the river was a swollen torrent, every ditch level full of water, the gullies turned to lakes. Wavelets glimmered under a gibbous moon. By the full moon it had dried out again. Summer came. The stairs were warm underfoot, a gentle heat radiating through the soles of my sneakers, like a sidewalk at dusk releasing the heat of the day. My legs ached, and my breathing was ragged, but I didn't even consider stopping. It'll be easier, I remember telling myself, on the way down. At last I reached the final turn, a grey stone ceiling suddenly appearing above my head, the stairs leading to a square hole like someone had opened a hatch. I could see stars through it, the Little Dipper against a velvety black sky.
November 27, 2025 at 4:01 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
Human artists, use one piece to convince people to follow you.

(I'm counting photography as "art" here, as I usually do.)
Vivid green and purple curtains of aurora borealis over a snowy prairie landscape
November 26, 2025 at 7:33 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
Any random page in Barlowe's Guide to Extraterrestrials was an education. The thought that a gigantic starfish could be considered a person was an eye-opener.
A painting from Barlowe's Guide to Extraterrestrials, depicting a "Radiate", an alien from Memoirs of a Spacewoman by Naomi Mitchison. It's basically a big, muscly starfish; some of its arms end in suckers, some in what look like fingers.
November 26, 2025 at 7:12 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
Oh lord, I just remembered this classic from Spamusment, which was a site where a guy drew goofy cartoons based on spam email subject lines. This one's subject line was "Why your computer is running slow".

(I'm in IT; we still say "What the—? Mashed potatoes!?" to each other every once in a while.)
A desktop computer with its side open, with a mound of something white inside, with the text "Mashed potatoes!? What the" next to it
November 26, 2025 at 4:04 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
Secondly, this banger from Outlaw Ink.
8-panel comic strip. For the first 6 panels, Sherlock Holmes puffs on his pipe and examines Batman, peering at his cape, his cowl, his shoulders, and so forth. In the 7th panel, Holmes declares, "Bruce Wayne." Batman looks shocked. In the final panel, Holmes is hanging upside-down, strung up by his heels. He says, "Sensitive fellow."
November 26, 2025 at 3:48 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
I've got a couple. First up: Lore Brand Comics, which has been resurrected online at lorebrandcomics.com
Three-panel comic: a man in black stands with a drink in his hand. 1: He says, "There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." 2: He takes a drink. 3: He says, "Because your philosophy sucks."
November 26, 2025 at 3:45 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
A 90s movie that deserves more love: Top of the Food Chain, set in the town of Exceptional Vista¹ after the nut factory closes down.

—
¹ And the lumpy, bumpy, hilly part of town outside of town.
Movie poster for Top of the Food Chain: Sandy Fawkes and atomic scientist Karel Lamont in an awkward embrace, in lurid colours
November 25, 2025 at 3:48 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
actually that's a lie
November 24, 2025 at 4:03 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
OK but what if my charisma points have always been low?
Calvin and Hobbes 4-panel comic. Panel 1: Calvin running into frame, carrying a propellor beanie. He says, "Look, Hobbes! Dad fixed my beanie!" Panel 2: Calvin is wearing the beanie. Calvin: "Well? How's it look?" Hobbes: "Adjectives fail me." Panel 3: Calvin: "I'm turning it on. Ready? Here goes." Panel 4: The propeller is spinning with a "thbthbbbthbb" sound effect. Calvin: "I don't seem to be lifting off. This is very peculiar." Hobbes: "THAT's the word I was looking for."
November 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:28 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
that's a whoooole lot of yellow highlights in the opening ¶ of an email
pixelized screenshot of an email I received; the first two paragraphs are bold text, some underlined, some coloured red, all highlighted with bright yellow for a background, which makes it difficult for me to tell what's important (a good rule of thumb, I find, is "If everything's important, nothing's important.")
November 19, 2025 at 11:11 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
Cheezies
A red-and-white-striped bag of Hawkins Cheezies, which are superior in every way to Cheetos and their ilk
November 19, 2025 at 4:21 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
Need some stars? I got some stars.
the Milky Way above the prairie
November 19, 2025 at 4:09 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
So did Primus's "Suck on This" (live album), though I didn't discover it for a few years after that.

It's got my preferred version of one of my favourites of their songs: The Pressman.

Again I say: just listen to that bassline.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BHD...
The cover of Primus's album "Suck on This"
November 17, 2025 at 5:01 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
Voivod's "Nothingface" came out in my 16th year, and I'm still listening to it three decades later.

just listen to that bassline

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4RL...
the cover of Voivod's album Nothingface
November 17, 2025 at 4:45 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

(well, not entirely wrong)
"Vote Mamdani"-style meme, orange text on blue background, that says I VOTED FOR KODOS
November 16, 2025 at 9:24 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
monetary jack > Freejack
A poster for the 1992 SF movie FREEJACK, which answers the question "Hey, what happens if we make a movie with Emilio Estevez, Anthony Hopkins, and Mick Jagger?"
November 16, 2025 at 12:30 AM
patrickjohanneson.com
hoo boy, apparently it can be pronounced "troog" too
Dictionary.com telling us that "trug" can be pronounced "truhg" or "troog"
November 15, 2025 at 4:54 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
For me, or for everyone? For me it's The Neverhood.
Screenshot from The Neverhood, the first all-claymation-all-the-time video game; the game's protagonist, Klaymen, stands before a weird landscape made of mostly greenish clay.
November 15, 2025 at 4:32 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
Hoss¹, chillin' (as he often does) in our yard

—
¹ Short for "Hasenpfeffer"².
² Thank my wife for that.
A small greyish rabbit sitting calmly in the tallish grass next to our deck
November 14, 2025 at 6:42 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
From the very beginning of "How Quickly We Forget"

#WriteSky #WritingCommunity #WritingPrompts
It's been four years, almost five, since my mother died. So when I received a parcel in the mail today with a handwritten address that looks like her writing, it rocked me back on my heels a bit. Right now it's on the dining-room table where I set it. I've been staring at it for the last few minutes, trying to understand what's going on. If, in fact, I *can* understand what's going on. It's a box wrapped in brown kraft paper, cut-up grocery bags taped shut with wide, clear packing tape. She—I feel sure it's a woman's hand—addressed it in black felt marker. The postmark is from early last week. So it *can't* be her writing. Right?
November 14, 2025 at 3:40 PM
patrickjohanneson.com
A book from the 80s that I love

(this is the one that introduced me to William @greatdismal.bsky.social Gibson)

(this is also the first trilogy I read 2-1-3, but weirdly not the last)
The cover of Count Zero, by William Gibson, 2nd in the (very loose) Sprawl trilogy
November 14, 2025 at 3:09 PM