everything sucks goodnight

i still think. constantly. about it. but theres this gutteral feeling of Guilt. i feel Awful and Sad now. i want to rip my head apart . i want to fucking scream. i feel so selfish all the time, i try to draw but Theres No Point. It Doesnt Matter.

idk im just talking to the void. i genuinely hate being autistic n i hate everyone who dumbs it down to "hehe silly fixations.. hehe im just a lil weird 🤪 my vocal stims r so funny" when i am being fucking destroyed for being unable to do anything besides think of xyz hyperfixation +

stupid autistic man (me) cant indulge in hyperfixation for very reasonable reasons that i understand, but my mind still screams at me despite. telling me to make things. but. i cant find the will within me to. whats the point.

i feel guilty for feeling this way i guess. idk. i wish i could force away from front bc its just getting worse but. i cant. i need to be here.

this is me asking for friends to stop using them with me specifically. i dont like it. If i need clarification, i will ask, pls

anytime someone sees a hazbin alter they assume the person blindly likes the show 100% and is incapable of seeing criticism. no dawg i cant control who i introj first of all, second im critical of every media i consume 😭 😭 please

who posted this

this is me asking for friends to stop using them with me specifically. i dont like it. If i need clarification, i will ask, pls

i just legit cant stand it, ill obv give a tone indicator if someone just asks but i hate when theyre used with me idk residual feelings from being talked down to w them

alo lost one of his balls in the great chase incident...... sending my thoughts and prayers.......

you have issues man i love you but you concern me so fucking much

dnd will always be my strongest coping mechanism, i think. it means so much to me. ill figure it out

thinking on it for days, laying sick in bed n pulling myself out of bed just to get an idea down.

esp when ur attached to their og design. i think im making progress atleast. i think redesigning these characters is how im coping w everything still. idk if thats stupid. i just feel better doing it.