rax ‘levon honkers’ king
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raxkingisdead.bsky.social
rax ‘levon honkers’ king
@raxkingisdead.bsky.social
56K followers 770 following 8.8K posts
Levon Honkers is the author of TACKY (2021) and SLOPPY (2025), as well as co-host of the podcast Low Culture Boil. She lives in Brooklyn.
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raxkingisdead.bsky.social
monitoring the situation like
gandalf in the library of gondor
November 29, 2025 at 5:04 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
well, catholics? is there any in this rout with the authority to treat with me
mouth of sauron
November 29, 2025 at 3:52 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
o captain my captain scene
November 29, 2025 at 3:14 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
bravely describing it as one of his ‘strongest standup routines in years’ and then all the quotes from it are stuff like this lol ‘cancellation’ is never solely a cultural issue! it’s a craft issue too!
“You appreciate different things later in life,” he said, in his new touring show, “Ridiculous,” which he performed at the Beacon Theatre, in New York City. One of those things is buying boneless, skinless chicken breasts, opening up the package, and finding a meat-juice-absorbent pad inside. “I fucking love that pad,” C.K. said, “because I always forget I’m gonna see it. Every time I’m, like, Oh, yeah, what the fuck? It wakes me up. Like, it’s proof that I’m really here.” There are other small joys, such as shitty weather. (“I’ve lived too long to give a fuck about a sunny day.”) Recently, he had the cathartic experience of putting his father in a nursing home. (“You know what this place does? You know what they do? You give them money. And they take your father.”) He enjoys dating women his age; it’s interesting to talk to them about their lives. (“Nobody gets to fifty-eight single without a horrible fucking life, and you get to hear about it every day. It’s the best.”) Besides, twenty-year-olds are basically a different species, which is why publications like Barely Legal are so disturbing. (“The magazine is saying, if you read this, you’re not a pedophile—you’re not literally a pedophile—but you’re so close.”)
November 29, 2025 at 1:53 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
just saw @joshgondelman.bsky.social do this at the aimee mann/ted leo xmas show and listen yall know josh is like a brother to me. but this ‘gary’ guy…hello 👀
November 29, 2025 at 4:40 AM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
i wrote about the tactics i’m using in my ongoing battle to make my husband’s friend ‘jared’ be my own personal friend
www.patreon.com/posts/144612...
Imposing an Inside Joke What better way to recognize a buddy than through the power of an inside joke? The problem here, of course, is in that very formulation—you don't call someone a friend because you share an inside joke, you share the inside joke because the person is already your friend. But it's my belief that I can reverse-engineer the friendship simply by working backwards from its effects. Potentially related: I was not great at syllogisms, as a classics student. Ever see that 30 Rock episode where Tracy is pissed off that his buddies have an inside joke that doesn't include him? They say "smooth move, Ferguson" and laugh, and he seethes because he doesn't understand why the joke is funny. I'm basically doing that episode to Jared, but backwards. Instead of laughing at an inside joke that he's not a part of, I'm forcing him to be a part of it, whether it makes him laugh or not. At least, I would be, if I could think of an inside joke worth imposing on him. You really only get one shot at this method. If you pick a joke that flops, you still have to try the joke on your target several times until, if you're lucky, it sticks. And if it never does stick, congratulations, you made a horrible joke fifty times to someone who hates it.
November 28, 2025 at 8:41 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
me after sleeping like absolute shit
Goin Down the Road Feeling Bad lyrics by Traditional music by Traditional Going down the road feeling bad Going down the road feeling bad Going down the road feeling bad, hey hey hey, yeah
November 28, 2025 at 2:48 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
isildur saying no while refusing to throw the ring into the fire
November 26, 2025 at 10:49 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
and now im going back down the MEL magazine rabbit hole. they let me cook the viral beef hand. paid me to, even!
melmagazine.com/en-us/story/...
RECIPE 1) Confirm that your will is up-to-date and that your taste-tester is physically equipped to bring you to the nearest hospital if need be. 2) For Christ’s sake, season the ground beef. I watched the video four times looking for the step where the disembodied hands sprinkled some salt and pepper onto the ground beef. But I never found it. 3) Fill a latex glove with beef. In the video, the cook’s hands wrap the glove around the outside of a glass to hold it in place during the, ugh, beef-packing. This isn’t really necessary, in my expert opinion. Just stuff that beef in whatever way feels right to you. Honestly, the whole project made me wonder what I was doing with my life, but squishing ground beef into the individual fingers of a latex glove really made me wonder what I was doing with my life.
November 26, 2025 at 6:43 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
RIP to MEL magazine, the only outlet that would ever dare to commission nea to write this story and the only one that would ever allow me to say something like this for it
KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WORKING WITH In some ways, the fistee and the holiday turkey aren’t all that different. “Much like some bratty bottom, the turkey is frustrating but, properly handled, can be so rewarding,” says James Beard-nominated writer and MEL contributor Rax King. She’s right to say it. As
November 26, 2025 at 6:34 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
when he doesn’t text back
Translation Love is a misfortune in the world To whomever it befalls It costs you plenty in strength and money Can anything be worse? What good did it do me To have such a great love? My heart is being ripped out Through love you can hang yourself
November 26, 2025 at 6:10 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
i see joshua gets a 😂 and i don’t. that’s fine
salieri in Amadeus seething with jealousy
November 26, 2025 at 5:18 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
my buddy and i have a bit where, if one of us is feeling blue, the other has to drop everything and talk at length about how good the other one’s pussy is
Pussy so good it makes a man wanna convincingly fake interest in Americana Makes him do an Ancestry.com test looking for his secret Jewish heritage This pussys so good any man would leave his wife for it And then his dad would leave HIS wife Pussy so good it has knock on effects for generations past and future This is some pussy makes a man say shit like hot diggity dog Turns a man straight dastardly
November 26, 2025 at 2:48 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
i would also accept any of these doomed adaptations
There have been repeated attempts to turn the book into a film. In 1982, Harold Ramis was to write and direct an adaptation, starring John Belushi as Ignatius and Richard Pryor as Burma Jones, but Belushi's death prevented this. Later, John Candy and Chris Farley were touted for the lead, but both of them, like Belushi, also died at an early age, leading many to ascribe a curse to the role of Ignatius.[17] Director John Waters was interested in directing an adaptation that would have starred Divine, who also died at an early age, as Ignatius.[18]
November 25, 2025 at 7:24 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
artie bucco aiming gun
November 24, 2025 at 6:35 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
guy replying to my post about charging my apple mouse with ‘you could try writing with the keyboard as opposed to the mouse’ artie bucco aiming gun
November 24, 2025 at 6:25 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
sat down at my desk rarin to write, stupid apple mouse decided this is the exact moment it needs to be charged
ben affleck ripping a vape
November 24, 2025 at 5:07 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
November 23, 2025 at 9:27 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
my god but ronnie hawkins is disgusting. every time i see him say ‘i turned 41’ i gasp. that’s a rough 41 my man
ronnie hawkins looking rough
November 23, 2025 at 8:05 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
anyone know where i can cop this entire look
richard manuel wearing a yellow plaid suit
November 23, 2025 at 8:03 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
it’s time.
this film should be played loud!
November 23, 2025 at 8:02 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
i think mark zuckerberg is threatening me
ad for ‘facebook listings you’ll love’ with the sample listing ‘$200 wooden coffin casket’
November 23, 2025 at 4:20 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
on my jessica rabbit shit tn
rax wearing a red lace dress
November 22, 2025 at 10:26 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
of course, science is important
picky little dog with her tongue sticking out
November 21, 2025 at 8:30 PM
raxkingisdead.bsky.social
did you guys mean to send this to my dog or
email from Chewy pet supply with the subject line ‘what do you think about your recent order’
November 21, 2025 at 8:14 PM