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Rob Grace

@robgracecomedy.bsky.social

82 followers 110 following 220 posts

I believe laughter is the best medicine - unless you’re diabetic, in which case insulin is quite important. Oh and Cheltenham Town and all that.

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · 7d

Thought I should also use the non-bin fire site to spread the word.

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · 7d

Saw @petefirman.bsky.social in Bristol tonight. Three questions:
1) If you haven't seen him, why not?
2) What are you going to do about it?
3) Why are you still reading this instead of doing something about it?
Go and see him, he's mind-blowingly good!

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · 11d

Go home AI, you're pissed!

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · 12d

I think we might be at a point in history where we change 'Lest we forget' to 'Looks like we forgot'!

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · 25d

Dear America
The correct expression is "I COULDN'T care less" not "I could care less".
It doesn't take much thought to work out your version makes no sense whatsoever.
Thanks for your time on this matter.

Reposted by Rob Grace

Postcard From The Past @pastpostcard.bsky.social · Aug 5

Ask nanny if she wants us to bring some mice home for the kittens: if so dead or alive.

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Sep 4

My mate Barry tried self castration...which takes some balls #Lunchpun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Sep 2

I bought a dog. I called him Peeve. That's annoying.
#lunchpun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Aug 26

When I asked my wife why it took so long to get ready to go out, she said it was because she was filing her nails.
How can that be such a long process? They all go under the letter 'N' surely! #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Aug 20

There have been some strange goings on at my allotment recently. I went there the other day and there were an extra 15 inches more topsoil compared to when I left it. The plot thickens. #LunchPun

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Aug 15

"If you get time, could you invent a new vacuum? No pressure." #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Aug 1

Who knew Trump could drive a submarine?...

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Aug 1

I received a parcel today. It was 1" wide by 1" long by 1" deep and full to the brim with elephant semen, which proves that big things really do come in small packages #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 30

I always assumed my butcher was the most disgusting man in the world but it turns out my veg supplier was grosser #LunchPun

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 29

I would tell you about why I was thrown out of the Louis Armstrong Museum, but I don't like to blow my own trumpet #LunchPun

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 24

I had planned on spending my day procrastinating but I keep getting distracted. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 23

“Watson, do you realise we’re stranded on this desert island?”
“No ship, Sherlock.”
#LunchPun

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 22

A thief made off with some of the lyrics from a 'Sound of Music' song. Don't worry though, he didn't get 'fa'. #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 21

My mate Barry has two half-sisters…which means he has a sister #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 17

My doctor said he could cure my speech impediment. He said I need to drink two bottles of Glenfiddich every day. I'm not so sure. Sounds a bit whiskey... #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 16

When she was a police officer my wife headed off to work dressed as a Boeing 747. I said “I’m not sure that’s what they meant when they said they wanted you in plain clothes.” #LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 15

I'm just off to get into my horse costume. I'll see you in a bit.
#LunchPun

Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 14

My mate Barry offered to pay for my new deaf aids, but I wouldn't hear of it. #LunchPun

Reposted by Rob Grace

Moose Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · Jul 13

Imagine how difficult it would be if you had two colleagues, one called Ian and one called Iain, but Iain only had one eye.

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Rob Grace @robgracecomedy.bsky.social · Jul 13