Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
@ronnypascale.bsky.social
61K followers 120K following 1.2K posts
A very famous comedian.
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ronnypascale.bsky.social
I’m deleting emails as old as 7 years old. I’m tempted to respond to one and say “sorry just seeing this..”
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I lucid dream a lot. I wake up to write jokes that, in my dream state, seem amazing. But when I wake up and read them, they are never good.

Last night I wrote: Did you hear about the baseball player who got pulled over? When the cop asked for ID, he gave him his rookie card..

Eek.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I am not a whisky snob. If a whisky needs to tell me how old it is, I can't afford it.

I want a whisky that holds up three fingers and says "I'M THIS MANY!"
ronnypascale.bsky.social
My phone autocorrected “Elvis Impersonator” to “Elvis Impregnator”. That’s a completely different type of Las Vegas wedding.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
The only thing worse than bad tattoos is a bad email address. I can hide my tattoos but I don't have to put them on my resume.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
If you are what you eat, then my dog is a big piece of sidewalk shit.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
Tylenol causes autism the same way that hanging with Epstein causes brain worms.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I started working on new standup. Here's the first draft to some of it. Like and subscribe on Youtube, please and thank you. www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aJL...
Ronny Pascale at Fourth Wall Comedy Cafe 9/12/2025
YouTube video by Ronny Pascale
www.youtube.com
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I mean isn’t the planet at this point t just the internet
ronnypascale.bsky.social
Not true nobody would ever read it
ronnypascale.bsky.social
What a weird day to be on the internet.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I will do anything for love. That’s why I learned Russian, to make sure my in-laws were not talking kakashka about me at the dinner table.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I hate when someone asks my astrological sign, I reply and they say “figures”. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I hate working out because there’s no cheat code to get muscles immediately. Although you’d be surprised how effective of a work out UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT is
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
ronnypascale.bsky.social
HELP! I've been too tired to write jokes lately but I still need attention.
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
ronnypascale.bsky.social
LA bus stop:

Man: I'm 65, but look 35 (no he doesn't) and I date women younger than her (points to woman)

Her: You date high school girls???

He shut up. We got on the bus. Everyone quiet until---

Man: JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS: I DON'T DATE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS!!!

Nice try, Diddy.
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
ronnypascale.bsky.social
People who have "reposts are not endorsements" in their bio are actually saying "one time i accidentally retweeted a funny meme from a white nationalist".
ronnypascale.bsky.social
“If you come, they will build it” — a hall of fame porn star at the unveiling of their statue.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
People who have "reposts are not endorsements" in their bio are actually saying "one time i accidentally retweeted a funny meme from a white nationalist".