it was fanfic! of what, who could say. really intriguing trend of white queer authors trying to write brown queer characters who somehow know all the lgbt words.

just read a really good cosmic horror that felt kneecapped by this dynamic/its own awareness of fanfiction. fanfic haunted an otherwise really good narrative and took me out of it. because i stayed up late to devour it and give myself over to this story, the somatic experience of it was so, like

why did they do that

henry wadsworth longfellow was such a maniac for that