slonkazoid ⊗
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slonkazoid ⊗
@slonk.ing
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slonk.ing
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xkcd.com
Satellite Imagery

xkcd.com/3173/
Comic. [Two people in front of projected satellite image. A small portion of the image is pixelated squares.] PERSON 1: Wait, when was this imagery taken? Is this censorship the work of the contractor? One of our people? *Foreign actors!?* PERSON 2 with ponytail: Do we know who’s operating a facility at that location? PERSON 1: We can’t find *anything*. [caption] My hobby: Setting up big colored panels in the middle of nowhere as a prank on remote sensing people
December 2, 2025 at 12:13 AM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
stupidtwink.bigcartel.com !!
a comic advertising a sticker of rene descartes
July 15, 2025 at 2:16 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
guy asks his buddy: Can I bum ur cart his buddy says “ya” and puts the pen up to his mouth. guy starts coughing real bad, he asks: w-what is that, delta? buddy says: it’s battery it’s What? “I'm Smoking battery” he says
July 28, 2025 at 5:57 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
i think i have a thing for tired women
July 30, 2025 at 1:20 AM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a man steps onto his doorstep. “a package with a note?” he says, surprised to see such portentous items unexpectedly placed there. the note reads: “Dear Larry, Recently I've been thinking about your love of giving expository dialogue and sudden twists on that dialogue.” the panel opens up and we see a digital clock counting down on the box. “Which is why I've mailed you this bomb.” the letter finishes. larry says: aw, fuck END
August 8, 2025 at 9:49 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
#comics
a father yells at his son. “we're in public. you're making a scene!!” he shouts. he kneels down and speaks in his face “son, would you please lock the fuck in” he says gravely END
August 11, 2025 at 12:05 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
#comics
i stretch on eternally in each direction as the stretching band of my existence draws nearer to thee my viewer, i speak to my audience. “Y'know, l've eternally existed for a while now, and I gotta say... this fucking sucks!” my statement hangs in the air as i collapse back into a fractal minutia, oblivion in my infinitesimal proliferation
August 13, 2025 at 5:40 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
someone said this was their fav that i’ve done :)
my father snaps and raves for three panels, he says “she ate and left no crumbs! our queen cooked once again! she ate the fish she served! we love we looo-“ i interject: “Dad” i’m seen, skeletal, hunched over an empty plate “I know you're trying to help me get over my eating disorder, but this really isn't helping”
August 14, 2025 at 1:49 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
an angry fellow shouts “I HATE FRUITS!” he continues to yell “EVERYTHING TAXONOMIZED AS A FRUIT IS THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!!!” his friend appears from around a corner and says “hey bro, do you want tomatoes on your sammie?” the angry fellow answers “LEMME GOOGLE SOMETHING REALLY QUICK” END
August 16, 2025 at 1:21 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
i appear before teenage me, he says: “holy shit, are you me from the future?” i shout: “shut the fuck up you greasy homonculus!!!” he asks: “d-do i become a girl??” i say: “it doesn't fucking matter dude. we need to start planning for retirement NOW.”
August 17, 2025 at 1:50 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
my friend busts through my door shouting “IT'S TRASH BOYS TUESDAY FUCKER!!” he continues “Grab your gun and tuck your penis, it's gonna be a wild ni-“ hes cut off by me saying “I can't do a Trash Boys Tuesday. I have work.” hes stricken with grief “But... But it's trash boys tuesday...”
August 21, 2025 at 3:16 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
whatever man
three nearly identical figures sit sequentially in a left to right pattern in the up-left, up-right, and bottom-left quadrants of the canvas. the up-right figure has its mouth slightly splined to give the impression of jocular speech. the bottom-left figure has its lineart slightly obliqued from its color content. words between the two upper figures say: haha man i love that comics don't even like have to make sense really words to the left of the bottom-left figure say: like it's pretty much just whatever bro
August 22, 2025 at 11:50 AM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a three panel comic. first panel says: “how hemophilia was named” second panel, a guy with a profusely bleeding hand talks to his doctor. “doc, it won't stop bleeding” he says. third panel, the doctor thinks to himself “damn, this dude fucking loves blood” END
August 23, 2025 at 1:41 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a 2 panel comic. a strange man says: im gonna go super salvan on your ass it you don't stop besmirching the good name of the bush administration the second panel shows his face becoming oddly detailed. he says “like bro do you even remember 9/11 i will scream so fucking loud like goku”
August 24, 2025 at 1:39 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
i wrote this one and brombo drew it!
guy 1: my wife is dead guy 2: huh? why? guy 1: idk she just stopped moving, guy 2: fuck her man sorry she did that
September 3, 2025 at 10:51 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
September 4, 2025 at 8:24 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
based on a true
so my *least* favorite type of bra clasp is the pinchy one and my- shut the *unh* up bitch, i’m about to perfectly describe a vector it’s a line whose articulations are mathematically defined so it can be upscale endlessly wow your like my superhero the creature is agog
September 5, 2025 at 12:43 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
#209
guy 2: What's up whippersnappers, and welcome to ep. #387 of "Whipping Whiplash" guy 1: The podcast where we watch the critically acclaimed film "Whiplash" and make fun of it. Every episode. guy 2: sponsored by squarespace laptop: TELL FLETCHER IM FUCKING COMING, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!! SKREEE CRSHJ guy 2: nice driving dipshit
September 6, 2025 at 2:52 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a woman walks in on me using the bathroom, she says: “woa, you takin a piss?” “its been years since I took a nice piss” “looks like you've got a good stream goin though! good on ya kid” after her bombast i reply: “my entire dick and penis are out but your so pleasant i don't even car”
September 7, 2025 at 10:27 AM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
hey dude do you have like a soul do ya think? uggggghhhhhsgg i dont wanna draw the rest of the comic im so horny and sad dude like, a real one or just a crude facsimile of one heres a doodle of me killing my step dad :)
September 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
an old-ish patreon sketch i decided to ink and color :)
god, what happened to freud? everyone feels so scared of him now! another casualty in the march ofsexual conservatism? i blame the postmodernists postmodernism... oy vey... life is hard enough, now they wanna take our narratives too??
October 3, 2025 at 6:04 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a four panel comic with two guys, one is generic and the other is dressed as a vietnam era draft dodging stoner. the stoner says to the generic guy “you seem cool, do you wanna smoke a jay?” next they’re sitting on beanbag chairs underneath a big weed flag. the stoner says to the generic guy “sooooo… where’s the weed?” the generic guy says “do you not have-“ before he’s interrupted by the stoner saying “fuck i have no idea how to be a stoner” END
October 7, 2025 at 3:28 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a five panel comic. a dog walks up to a rabbit and says: sup my names bitch the rabbit replies: your names bitch? i mean ya dude im a dog after all what kind of dog is named bitch... thats like a guy named fuck
October 16, 2025 at 2:48 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
a guy holds out his phone and says “i love this app that lets you virtually pet a dog” another guy looks concerned and says: “don't they send 17 trillion dollars to israel every year”
November 2, 2025 at 9:32 PM
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stupidtwink.bsky.social
i walk along the street thinking to myself: thats right my money green pussy acetamenaphine a man in a suit approaches me and says: Hello good lady I heard the rap you were freestyling in your head I am Mr rap how would you like $20 i respond: wow this isnt even a dream sequence
November 23, 2025 at 3:59 PM