🦦 Otterbean🦦
@smolotterbean.bsky.social
I don't do warnings, I'm blunt and upfront
30/yo
Metalhead (Black Metal is my favorite)
Pansexual
Nonbinary
Available
🔞 MINORS DNI 🔞
https://mastodon.social/@SmolOtterBean
30/yo
Metalhead (Black Metal is my favorite)
Pansexual
Nonbinary
Available
🔞 MINORS DNI 🔞
https://mastodon.social/@SmolOtterBean
Pinned
Don't ever disrespect military veterans because several of my neighbors, family and friends are veterans and they are some of the most honest, respectful and decent people I've ever met. You don't know what they've been through but I have heard some of the horrors they lived through. Be respectful.
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
[bedtime]
daughter: dad, i’m afraid a bug will crawl into my mouth while i’m sleeping
me: don’t be silly, the spiders that live in your eyebrows would catch it first
daughter: …
me: night, sweetheart
daughter: dad, i’m afraid a bug will crawl into my mouth while i’m sleeping
me: don’t be silly, the spiders that live in your eyebrows would catch it first
daughter: …
me: night, sweetheart
December 2, 2025 at 4:42 PM
[bedtime]
daughter: dad, i’m afraid a bug will crawl into my mouth while i’m sleeping
me: don’t be silly, the spiders that live in your eyebrows would catch it first
daughter: …
me: night, sweetheart
daughter: dad, i’m afraid a bug will crawl into my mouth while i’m sleeping
me: don’t be silly, the spiders that live in your eyebrows would catch it first
daughter: …
me: night, sweetheart
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
i caught him in the middle of a little sneeze
December 2, 2025 at 3:08 AM
i caught him in the middle of a little sneeze
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
farting and shitting and shitting and farting ad nauseum
December 2, 2025 at 6:45 PM
farting and shitting and shitting and farting ad nauseum
This is Toby the orange chonk and Ebony the spastic doggo
December 2, 2025 at 6:33 PM
This is Toby the orange chonk and Ebony the spastic doggo
Felix is camera shy
December 2, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Felix is camera shy
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
the goat. gouache painting on paper, 2018
December 2, 2025 at 2:40 AM
the goat. gouache painting on paper, 2018
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
Steve has just been refused entry to the pub. Brad is doing his best to console him.
December 2, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Steve has just been refused entry to the pub. Brad is doing his best to console him.
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
More Pilgrims of the Murk Dome illustrations
December 2, 2025 at 5:03 PM
More Pilgrims of the Murk Dome illustrations
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
slutty today! slutty tomorrow! slutty forever!
December 2, 2025 at 5:00 PM
slutty today! slutty tomorrow! slutty forever!
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
A fart walk.
A fart squat.
A fart jump.
A fart run.
A fart swim.
A fart skip.
A fart leap.
A fart kick.
A fart punch.
A fart flip.
A fart cartwheel.
A fart skeet.
A fart squat.
A fart jump.
A fart run.
A fart swim.
A fart skip.
A fart leap.
A fart kick.
A fart punch.
A fart flip.
A fart cartwheel.
A fart skeet.
November 29, 2025 at 4:45 PM
A fart walk.
A fart squat.
A fart jump.
A fart run.
A fart swim.
A fart skip.
A fart leap.
A fart kick.
A fart punch.
A fart flip.
A fart cartwheel.
A fart skeet.
A fart squat.
A fart jump.
A fart run.
A fart swim.
A fart skip.
A fart leap.
A fart kick.
A fart punch.
A fart flip.
A fart cartwheel.
A fart skeet.
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
I’m a simple creature. I see a cute dog, I whisper “doggie”
December 2, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I’m a simple creature. I see a cute dog, I whisper “doggie”
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
Yeah, I took a gummy* to feel something**.
*fiber
** bowel movement
*fiber
** bowel movement
November 30, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Yeah, I took a gummy* to feel something**.
*fiber
** bowel movement
*fiber
** bowel movement
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
It's dangerous to go alone...take this
November 29, 2025 at 8:42 PM
It's dangerous to go alone...take this
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
My rescue doggo and her heated blanket, part one.
December 2, 2025 at 12:53 PM
My rescue doggo and her heated blanket, part one.
Respect animals or face the multitude of lethal defense mechanisms they have. I've done some research, it gets nasty.
December 1, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Respect animals or face the multitude of lethal defense mechanisms they have. I've done some research, it gets nasty.
I made friends with a baby spider monkey because I respected and entertained it, I didn't antagonize it. The small crowd of people I was with also respected the baby and that's a huge win in my book. Too many tourists barge in, and think they can get the animals to do whatever for Internet likes.
December 1, 2025 at 10:09 PM
I made friends with a baby spider monkey because I respected and entertained it, I didn't antagonize it. The small crowd of people I was with also respected the baby and that's a huge win in my book. Too many tourists barge in, and think they can get the animals to do whatever for Internet likes.
If ignorant people actually bothered to learn more about the animals they aggravate, maybe they wouldn't be so stupid. Piss off the wrong apex predator and your ass is grass. Take the komodo dragon and the method it uses to take down prey.
December 1, 2025 at 10:04 PM
If ignorant people actually bothered to learn more about the animals they aggravate, maybe they wouldn't be so stupid. Piss off the wrong apex predator and your ass is grass. Take the komodo dragon and the method it uses to take down prey.
Morbid humor is a wonderful defense mechanism until you use it around pearl clutchers.
December 1, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Morbid humor is a wonderful defense mechanism until you use it around pearl clutchers.
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
"Going to the vet is stupid"
"IKR?"
"He better not call me fat this time"
"IKR?"
"I hate needles"
"I..."
"If you say IKR one more time I STG"
"IKR?"
"He better not call me fat this time"
"IKR?"
"I hate needles"
"I..."
"If you say IKR one more time I STG"
December 1, 2025 at 5:35 PM
"Going to the vet is stupid"
"IKR?"
"He better not call me fat this time"
"IKR?"
"I hate needles"
"I..."
"If you say IKR one more time I STG"
"IKR?"
"He better not call me fat this time"
"IKR?"
"I hate needles"
"I..."
"If you say IKR one more time I STG"
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
The existence of sag harbor implies that somewhere out there is a perky titty bay and no I’m not taking questions at this time.
December 1, 2025 at 2:05 AM
The existence of sag harbor implies that somewhere out there is a perky titty bay and no I’m not taking questions at this time.
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
my stupid stupid brain had to draw this
December 1, 2025 at 6:05 AM
my stupid stupid brain had to draw this
Reposted by 🦦 Otterbean🦦
Some yeets over the years
November 30, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Some yeets over the years