Noah, Prince of Turkeys
@sophicthunder.bsky.social
I’m like if Cuzco the llama came to life. My thoughts make thunder. Proudly performing the brilliant comedy writing of @danijustmight.bsky.social
Pinned
“Noah, that’s an inside thought”
For what? The internet? That’s INSIDE my phone?
For what? The internet? That’s INSIDE my phone?
Reposted by Noah, Prince of Turkeys
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. Ate it.
December 1, 2025 at 8:27 AM
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree. Ate it.
Worst Mondays, ranked
1) The Monday after New Years
2) The Monday after Daylight Savings starts
3) The Monday after Thanksgiving break
1) The Monday after New Years
2) The Monday after Daylight Savings starts
3) The Monday after Thanksgiving break
December 1, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Worst Mondays, ranked
1) The Monday after New Years
2) The Monday after Daylight Savings starts
3) The Monday after Thanksgiving break
1) The Monday after New Years
2) The Monday after Daylight Savings starts
3) The Monday after Thanksgiving break
Overheard someone say “That shit has sailed” and it might be the best misheard idiom of 2025.
December 1, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Overheard someone say “That shit has sailed” and it might be the best misheard idiom of 2025.
Ted Lasso is millennial John Wayne.
December 1, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Ted Lasso is millennial John Wayne.
It’s Mista Napkinhead season again.
December 1, 2025 at 1:01 PM
It’s Mista Napkinhead season again.
Pronouncing Alpine as “Al-peen”.
December 1, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Pronouncing Alpine as “Al-peen”.
I love east coast winter. It’s about 10:30, right? Football game starts at midnight?
My clock:
My clock:
a digital clock displays the time as 7:30 on a black background
ALT: a digital clock displays the time as 7:30 on a black background
media.tenor.com
December 1, 2025 at 1:14 AM
I love east coast winter. It’s about 10:30, right? Football game starts at midnight?
My clock:
My clock:
“Alexa, experience this holiday grief anniversary with me”.
“playing Three Days Grace first album”
“playing Three Days Grace first album”
November 30, 2025 at 8:12 PM
“Alexa, experience this holiday grief anniversary with me”.
“playing Three Days Grace first album”
“playing Three Days Grace first album”
@profanity.accountant where am I at?
November 29, 2025 at 11:04 PM
@profanity.accountant where am I at?
GBBO Holiday specials are great because I love watching people with posh accents crash out while pizzicato strings play Christmas Carols joyfully in the background.
November 29, 2025 at 3:16 AM
GBBO Holiday specials are great because I love watching people with posh accents crash out while pizzicato strings play Christmas Carols joyfully in the background.
My other title.
Pumpkin Spice Prince Of Darkness
November 29, 2025 at 12:57 AM
My other title.
Okay. A Very Jonas Christmas Movie here we go. Trailer was already a perfect 5/7.
November 28, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Okay. A Very Jonas Christmas Movie here we go. Trailer was already a perfect 5/7.
The Chiefs-Cowboys game is truly America’s Superbowl. Two teams who would consider themselves exceptional but are actually quite average, struggling with each other when they should actually rise up against the rich men who own them.
November 28, 2025 at 12:25 AM
The Chiefs-Cowboys game is truly America’s Superbowl. Two teams who would consider themselves exceptional but are actually quite average, struggling with each other when they should actually rise up against the rich men who own them.
Oh look it’s San-
*credits roll*
*cut to dog show*
*credits roll*
*cut to dog show*
November 27, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Oh look it’s San-
*credits roll*
*cut to dog show*
*credits roll*
*cut to dog show*
Homeschoolers: you should have a CLASSICAL education. Read Shakespeare, not a bunch of smut
Shakespeare:
Shakespeare:
Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.
November 27, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Homeschoolers: you should have a CLASSICAL education. Read Shakespeare, not a bunch of smut
Shakespeare:
Shakespeare:
There’s a pasta knight? And they didn’t even ASK ME if I was interested in the role?!
November 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM
There’s a pasta knight? And they didn’t even ASK ME if I was interested in the role?!
Why does Smokey the Bear have PECS?
November 27, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Why does Smokey the Bear have PECS?
THIS IS NOT A DRILL THERE IS A LABUBU FLOAT
November 27, 2025 at 3:01 PM
THIS IS NOT A DRILL THERE IS A LABUBU FLOAT
This weird tradition where we look at balloons for a few hours until Santa shows up.
November 27, 2025 at 2:34 PM
This weird tradition where we look at balloons for a few hours until Santa shows up.
You know what they say about guys whose heart grew THREE SIZES in a day… 😏
November 27, 2025 at 1:56 AM
You know what they say about guys whose heart grew THREE SIZES in a day… 😏
Why do we in America pronounce “both” and “moth” differently?
November 27, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Why do we in America pronounce “both” and “moth” differently?
In the Jim Carrey Grinch, that one guy says “Hey honey, the baby’s here! He looks just like your boss…”
Never got that as a kid.
Never got that as a kid.
November 27, 2025 at 12:45 AM
In the Jim Carrey Grinch, that one guy says “Hey honey, the baby’s here! He looks just like your boss…”
Never got that as a kid.
Never got that as a kid.
Martha May Whovier - her name is probably a pun on Bouvier, which means “cow”.
Maybe that was unintentional.
Maybe that was unintentional.
November 27, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Martha May Whovier - her name is probably a pun on Bouvier, which means “cow”.
Maybe that was unintentional.
Maybe that was unintentional.
Putting @karenll.bsky.social and @aymiejoi.bsky.social on notice - there’s a good chance me and Dani will watch the Jonas brother movie this weekend. Likely Friday night. I will attempt to be as unhinged as possible.
November 26, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Putting @karenll.bsky.social and @aymiejoi.bsky.social on notice - there’s a good chance me and Dani will watch the Jonas brother movie this weekend. Likely Friday night. I will attempt to be as unhinged as possible.
It’s sad how much of human experience is summed up as being willing to go broke for the sake of hating other people.
Ah forgot to ask y'all the provocative key question:
If more cops don't even reduce the murder rate in the most violent, highest homicide, most dangerous neighborhoods in Baltimore and Chicago...
Then...
What are we paying *billions* of dollars for? 🤡
If more cops don't even reduce the murder rate in the most violent, highest homicide, most dangerous neighborhoods in Baltimore and Chicago...
Then...
What are we paying *billions* of dollars for? 🤡
I've shared on here before, why more cops do not and cannot reduce the murder rate in US cities.
I've shared that criminal justice reformers have known what does work, and has worked in dozens of US cities. It's now driving record low homicide in Chicago and Baltimore♥️🕊️
Now let's talk cop killings
I've shared that criminal justice reformers have known what does work, and has worked in dozens of US cities. It's now driving record low homicide in Chicago and Baltimore♥️🕊️
Now let's talk cop killings
November 26, 2025 at 9:32 PM
It’s sad how much of human experience is summed up as being willing to go broke for the sake of hating other people.