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sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
930 followers 92 following 2K posts
19 - He/Him - Cis/Autistic
PFP: @aridee.bsky.social
Meta Knightmare writer and not-so-long-suffering Bengals fan
GTFO - Bigots, Nazis, etc

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sortanonymous.bsky.social
Sorta Angry Comics #7 - "Stuffed Questions Better Left Unsquawked"

#angrybirds #angrybirdscomics #sortaangrycomics
(A.B. December 1, 2016) Chuck: "Ugh, one more 25-day holiday escapade. Because apparently six straight of those with hardly an October off weren't enough. Why don't we ever observe anyone's Thanksgivings just to at least mix things up?" Red: "Chuck, my friend. You do realize what the most popular meal is on at least a couple of the most globally well-known Thanksgivings, right?" Chuck: "Why it's uhhh..." [stock photo of a half-eaten Thanksgiving turkey with a giant censor bar in the middle] Chuck: ... Red: "Happy Holidays, Chuck!!! :D" (Meanwhile, one week earlier...) Minion Pig: "No better holiday in the world!" Love Pig: "It's like a second Pigdependence Day!" King Smooth Cheeks: "Lovely day indeed! Anyway, you guys wanna be vikings for a month?"
November 29, 2025 at 12:47 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 13 Picks #nfl #nflthanksgiving #nflweek13 #week13 #sortasports #sortapicks
*Packers-Lions (Thanksgiving Fox): Lions *Chiefs-Cowboys (Thanksgiving CBS): Chiefs *Bengals-Ravens (Thanksgiving NBC): Ravens *Bears-Eagles (Black Friday): Bears (chalk it up to a classic "momentum is God" pick all you want, but it just feels like that kind of matchup at this rate) *Jaguars-Titans: Jaguars *49ers-Browns: 49ers *Texans-Colts: Colts *Falcons-Jets: Falcons *Rams-Panthers: Rams *Saints-Dolphins: Dolphins *Cardinals-Buccaneers: Buccaneers *Vikings-Seahawks: Seahawks *Raiders-Chargers: Chargers *Bills-Steelers: Bills *Broncos-Commanders (SNF): Broncos *Giants-Patriots (MNF ESPN): Patriots (and I mean that this Giants team makes the 2007 Giants look like the 2007 Patriots, geez) On the chopping block (1/18 out already): Cardinals, Commanders, Jets, Raiders, Saints, and Titans (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-12): 119.5/178, or 67.1% 2024 Week 13 Picks: 15/16, or 93.8%
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 12 Recap #nfl #nflweek12 #week12 #sortapicks #sortasports
*Bills-Texans (n): Damn, maybe I should have trusted my gut here. But my concern consumed my pick just like how that D-line consumed Josh Allen and likely the Bills' division title hopes. *Vikings-Packers (Y): I don't love writing off quarterbacks super early in their career, but WOOF is McCarthy not making that outlook easy to keep up. *Giants-Lions (Y): This looks really damning for Detroit, but at least they're not the ones stuck with the Turnover Bakery or a D-coordinator fired way too late. *Seahawks-Titans (Y): Seahawks continuing to make bad teams cower at their feet. *Colts-Chiefs (n): No, Indy! Why'd you falter on the doorstep of saving America? 😭 *Patriots-Bengals (Y): Bringing Burrow back into this mess this deep into the abyss is like trying to use duct tape on a giant shipwreck when it's already seconds away from splitting in half. *Steelers-Bears (Y): Most expensive swinging door in football! You love to see it! *Jets-Ravens (Y): Remember when the Ravens were a 1-5 trainwreck with levels of defensive incompetence that the Inner Harbour hadn't seen since the horrors of 1981? Ah, the good old days. (Well, at least it's not Pittsburgh leading the division, I guess.) *Jaguars-Cardinals (Y): Jacksonville has always been the NFL's Twilight Zone, even on the not-so-common occasion that they win. But BOY are they taking that distinction to new heights this season. *Browns-Raiders (n): At this point, I think I'll go from just hating the Browns for having a creep on their roster to hating them just a little bit more for wasting the career of a player as stellar as Myles Garrett. (Also Shedeur Sanders completed a couple of checkdowns that went far and I know that Twitter was just so reasonable about that.) *Eagles-Cowboys (n): After months of sloppy play and horrifically coached offense, Philly's chickens didn't just come home to roost here, they stormed their home and carved them up into the exact bed shapes they wanted. Sound clumsy and stupid? Well you're right, but it can't be that much worse than whatever the hell Sirianni and Patullo are doing to waste this team away. *Falcons-Saints (Y): Enjoy this free win while you can, Atlanta, because I don't know if you have that many more in you with how much this season has spiraled. *Buccaneers-Rams (Y): Buccaneers have gone from Baking their division to in serious danger of being as Baked as Baker's shoulder. Perfect for being the sacrifice for the Rams to assert themselves as perhaps the new Super Bowl favorites. *Panthers-49ers (Y): This game was like watching someone normally good, but kinda rusty at Madden sandbagging hard to try and give their baby sibling a shot only for them to suck even more because they didn't see the sandbagging coming and tried sandbagging themself to make it more interesting for themself. And meanwhile, they're not only dumb enough to agree to make it the full 60 minutes when 12 minutes would be painful enough, but you're forced to sit there the entire time. Now let's never speak of this night ever again. 1st team voted out of the 2025 playoff race, Giants. New York, the tribe has spoken. [Giants' torch snuffed Survivor-style] 2025 Week 12 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-12): 119.5/178, or 67.1%
November 27, 2025 at 3:32 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Got bored and made two Angry Birds tier lists earlier tonight while I'm in my bimonthly Angry Birds mood so here you go! My tier list for Angry Birds characters and another for Angry Birds Seasons episode themes! #angrybirds #angrybirdsseasons
Angry Birds Character Tier List (rough ranking as of a few hours ago) S - Absolute Faves!: Bubbles, Gale, Terence, Stella, Hal, and GAME Silver A - Love 'em so much!: Red, Willow, Matilda, King Pig (Smooth Cheeks), Ice Bird, and Chef Big B - They're good!: Handsome Pig, Bomb, Chuck, Dahlia, Mighty Eagle, King Leonard/Mudbeard (Movies), and Minion Pigs C - Two out of three stars ain't that bad!: Jo, Corporal/Helmet Pig, Poppy, The Blues (Jay, Jake, and Jim), Melody, Luca, Foreman/Mustache Pig, Prince Porky, Tony, Mighty Dragon, Gordon, Piggy McCool, Postman Pig, Professor Pig, and PC Mouse Hand (yes, that was actually a character on that tier list lol) D - Mild Birds: Rudy and Chronicler Pig E - Uhhh...: Zeta (Movies) F - Angry Birds Rio Caged Bird Level Failed Sound: Movie "Silver" Sonic the Hedgehog: Sonic the Hedgehog (he's at neither the top nor bottom of this list, I just thought it'd be funny to throw him in at the end lol) Angry Birds Seasons Episode Music Tier List (again, rough ranking as of a few hours ago) S: Winter Wonderham (literally any of its 3 versions), Back to School, Summer Pignic, Piggywood Studios, On Finn Ice, Year of the Dragon, and Go Green, Get Lucky S-tier Stranger Things rip: Hammier Things (an all-time fave theme despite not having an original bone in its body lmao) A: Piglantis, Abra-Ca-Bacon, Easter Eggs, Cherry Blossom, Haunted Hogs, Tropigal Paradise, Arctic Eggspedition, and Moon/Mooncake Festival B: Ski or Squeal, Fairy Hogmother, Wreck the Halls, Ham Dunk, Ham'o'ween, Ragnahog, Trick or Treat, Season's Greedings, and Hogs and Kisses C: South Hamerica and Invasion of the Egg Snatchers D: Summer Camp and Marie Hamtoinette F: Eh, none of them are that bad, I guess (although frankly, Marie Hamtoinette did come kinda close)
November 26, 2025 at 4:56 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Good old Bob McElligott's call of this game-winner on the radio feed! (From @cbjradio on Twitter)
November 21, 2025 at 3:49 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 12 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #nflweek12 #week12 #sortasports #sortapicks (Again, the awesome @nflplayoffscenarios.com site is the one getting all the playoff scenarios sorted out. That said, if you don't want me tagging you in future weeks, just let me know.)
*Bills-Texans (TNF): Bills (although since it's a matter of great offense with crummy defense vs. great defense with crummy offense, I don't see it being a runaway by any means) *Vikings-Packers: Packers *Giants-Lions: Lions *Seahawks-Titans: Seahawks *Colts-Chiefs: Colts *Patriots-Bengals: Patriots *Steelers-Bears: Bears *Jets-Ravens: Ravens *Jaguars-Cardinals: Jaguars *Browns-Raiders: Raiders *Eagles-Cowboys: Eagles *Falcons-Saints: Falcons *Buccaneers-Rams (SNF): Rams *Panthers-49ers (MNF ESPN): 49ers 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8% 2024 Week 12 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% Can be eliminated this week: Giants Source for the playoff info (plus details) is https://nflplayoffscenarios.com/
November 21, 2025 at 1:40 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 11 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #nflweek11 #week11 #sortasports #sortapicks
*Jets-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye be too good for these recaps, because in case you couldn't tell, my whole schtick with his name may (or is it "Maye"?) be wearing out its welcome. (Although at least it can't be as bad as the Jets, right, guys? Right?) *Commanders-Dolphins (❌): McDaniel had to have had one of the most fireable winning games ever, ¿estoy en lo cierto? (Please tell me Google Translate didn't fail me there.) *Texans-Titans (✅): The once-scorned city at least got the better of the diet Bud Adams Bowl, although it certainly is damning that it was as close as it was. *Bears-Vikings (❌): Even with McCarthy in essence not really being a sophomore in this Sophomore Bowl, wow, was it apparent who was more ready for the big time in this division in the end, even with the late rally. *Panthers-Falcons (❌): Shockingly, Carolina makes it look more and more likely that they actually managed to channel the ghosts of Cardiac Cats' past. (I mean, that team also happened to be two years removed from a Heisman-helmed 15-loss trainwreck, and look how they turned out!) And perhaps not so shockingly, yet another once-promising Falcons season has now spiraled into the abyss, especially now that Penix is out and they're stuck riding it out with their 180-million-dollar mistake. *Packers-Giants (✅): Honestly, the fact that Cooked Russ and his wrecked team's brand new interim coach came as close as they did to winning may be just as scathing an indictment of the Packers as any of their recent losses. *Chargers-Jaguars (❌): I knew both of these teams were increasingly inconsistent, but woof, this feels even more concerning for the Bolts than it feels encouraging for the Jags. *Bengals-Steelers (✅): The Steelers indeed won by default, but only by dropping 34 and not 70. And this is why you don't gamble, kids. More importantly, whatever's going on with Chase is why you don't spit on people, kids, because that's just gross. Even more importantly than any of that, you also shouldn't be Bengals fans, kids. It'll make you long for the days of your first boo-boo. *Buccaneers-Bills (❌): It'd probably feel a little too harsh to call this a Fraud Bowl, but it was still clear that both of these teams needed to perform going in, and at least they both sure did defensively in a classic case of a game far more fun than its final score would indicate. *49ers-Cardinals (✅): In what could have been the first Soft Benching Bowl with that name, Purdy instead came back just in time to do all he needed to against this flightless flock. *Seahawks-Rams (❌): Despite the Hawks' best efforts late, this game ultimately reaffirmed both who's boss in this division and why McDarnold's was sold off for cheap at the turn of the fiscal year. *Chiefs-Broncos (❌): As this latest Nixing proved, the football gods clearly realized they fucked up with their little Chiefs experiment last year and have now decided that the only way to make up for last season was to completely turn the tables on KC with one-score games. *Ravens-Browns (✅): Goddamn it, the Ravens are back. And now the Sheduer stans are out in full force after a debut (admittedly not a comfortably-timed one) that would make even Johnny Football queasy. *Lions-Eagles (❌): Such a deflating offensive performance that even if one of the worst PI calls of all time didn't happen, I'm not so sure if the Lions really have a shot at this one. *Cowboys-Raiders (✅): Considering what that Dallas locker room had gone through the week before, this is the definition of a win deserved in more ways than just football. I know Marshawn would be proud of how his brothers-in-arms played on Monday night. 2025 Week 11 Picks: 7/15, or 46.7% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8%
November 19, 2025 at 11:04 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 (VERY LATE) Week 10 Recap (I know, I'm so goddamn slow lol) #nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #sortapicks #sortasports
*Raiders-Broncos (✅): Bringing it back to 2022 with utterly unwatchable TNF games, I see! *Falcons-Colts (✅): Jonathan Taylor really doing all he can to end the non-QB MVP drought *Jaguars-Texans (❌): If you thought the AFC South couldn't get any weirder, how about the Jags having their most epic choke ever and letting General Mills play the hero in 2025 for a Texans team on the brink! *Bills-Dolphins (❌): Well uhhh that's concerning, Buffalo! *Browns-Jets (❌): Are the Jets just gonna sweep Ohio and absolutely nobody else? (Speaking of, the 2nd and potentially final week of the season where I don't pick the Bengals to lose! That's entirely because it's their bye week, but just let me have this, damn it.) *Patriots-Buccaneers (✅): The winner of the Ex-Brady Bowl would fittingly be the team that got a lot more of Brady. *Saints-Panthers (❌): MeowMix's Favre-esque back-and-forth unsacrificing and resacrificing is being reflected in how inconsistent the Panthers keep being. *Giants-Bears (✅): Yet another game where everything has gone wrong for the Giants, enough so to spell the end of the bizarre Daboll era. (Meanwhile, is everything going right for the Bears now? Sure, why not.) *Ravens-Vikings (❌): The Vikings have never beaten the Ravens without eventually making the NFC Championship the same year. But they've also never made the playoffs after losing to the Ravens in the same year, so uhhh make what you will of their chances for this season now after this flop. *Cardinals-Seahawks (✅): This Bird Bowl was more like a pack of vultures ripping apart their disheveled prey without even bothering to check if they're too dead to care or not. *Rams-49ers (✅): I mean, what did we think was gonna happen with how beat up San Fran is? *Lions-Commanders (✅): Maybe Mr. "Name the Stadium After Me" is a kiss of death for any team he's rooting for and happens to see live. (Also I'd say we dodged a bullet never having him be a real commentator, but considering what he's doing with his life instead, maybe that timeline isn't so bad for anything but our ears.) *Steelers-Chargers (✅): Steelers playing down to their potential and Chargers playing up to their potential. Exactly as the world should be! (Yeah, so the next week was fucking painful in both those regards lol) *Eagles-Packers (❌): 55 minutes of ugliness followed by 5 minutes of making you wonder how the hell both these coaches are considered favorites to reach the Super Bowl. 2025 Week 10 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8%
November 19, 2025 at 4:48 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
How the Winnipeg Blue Bombers Twitter is reacting to missing out on a Grey Cup for the first time since Game of Thrones was on the air lmao
#cfl #greycup #greycup112 #112thgreycup
Winnipeg Blue Bombers (@Wpg_BlueBombers) on Twitter: "well at least the sun will explode one day and none of this will matter" 9:50 PM Eastern • November 16, 2025
November 17, 2025 at 3:18 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
(Yes, I sent this lol) While they weren't my first versions of the classic games, these fan decomps right here were how I first beat the classics last year (well okay, I never got most of the Emeralds in S3&K and got stuck at the final boss but I digress) and they're all fantastic decomps!
November 16, 2025 at 3:49 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 11 Picks #nfl #sortapicks #sortasports #nflweek11 #week11
*Jets-Patriots (TNF): Patriots *Commanders-Dolphins (Madrid, Spain): Commanders *Texans-Titans: Texans *Bears-Vikings: Vikings *Panthers-Falcons: Falcons *Packers-Giants: Packers *Chargers-Jaguars: Chargers *Bengals-Steelers: Steelers (I hate sports gambling, but I'm betting on the over even if it's 70) *Buccaneers-Bills: Buccaneers *49ers-Cardinals: 49ers *Seahawks-Rams: Seahawks *Chiefs-Broncos: Chiefs *Ravens-Browns: Ravens *Lions-Eagles (SNF): Lions *Cowboys-Raiders (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8% 2024 Week 11 Picks: 8/14, 57.1%
November 14, 2025 at 1:21 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Me after downloading the Kirby Air Riders and actually spending 5 seconds with the controls I had been dreading for the last 7 months:
"I owe you an apology. I wasn't really familiar with your game." - Shaq to Christian Wood after his 27-point performance vs. the Spurs
November 12, 2025 at 10:03 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Love how these are the first two replies
November 8, 2025 at 4:21 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 10 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week10 #nflweek10 #sortasports #sortapicks #predictions
*Raiders-Broncos (TNF): Broncos *Falcons-Colts (Berlin, Germany): Colts *Jaguars-Texans: Jaguars *Bills-Dolphins: Bills *Browns-Jets: Browns *Patriots-Buccaneers: Patriots *Saints-Panthers: Panthers *Giants-Bears: Bears *Ravens-Vikings: Vikings *Cardinals-Seahawks: Seahawks *Rams-49ers: Rams *Lions-Commanders: Lions *Steelers-Chargers (SNF): Chargers *Eagles-Packers (MNF): Packers 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or exactly 70% 2024 Week 10 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2%
November 7, 2025 at 1:19 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #recap #week9 #nflweek9 #sortasports #sortapicks
*Ravens-Dolphins (✅): Easy target for a get-right game. *Bears-Bengals (✅): My 4th full year being a fan of this team and I'm already becoming numb to shit like this. *Falcons-Patriots (✅): Patriots will never stop haunting the Falcons, I see. *49ers-Giants (✅): 49ers are showing just how banged-up you can be to still have a shot at a division. *Colts-Steelers (❌): They're just that immune to a cold streak before they've clinched 9 wins apparently. *Chargers-Titans (✅): Yep, this Wild Card loss is going to be painful once all the injuries are too much to ignore. *Vikings-Lions (❌): Vikings are too strange to fold that easily. *Panthers-Packers (❌): Cardiac Cats are back for a new generation! *Broncos-Texans (✅): Houston really wants to be the anti-Bengals, I guess. *Saints-Rams (✅): Rams continue to be the dark horse. *Jaguars-Raiders (✅): So Jaguars to not just win the first-ever multi-touchdown overtime, but to win on such a weird deflection and break the field goal record to make Justin Tucker wince even more this year! (Also pretty Raiders for them to literally invent a new way to lose an NFL game like that lol) *Chiefs-Bills (✅): Bills own them in the regular season, yadda yadda, how will it hurt in January this time? *Seahawks-Commanders (✅): Already a disaster night for Washington even before Daniels (in garbage time?!?) got that much more dangerously close to being the new RGIII. *Cardinals-Cowboys (❌): Cardinals got the win they absolutely needed. In light of what happened this morning with one of these two teams, though, that's honestly all that feels right to say about this game, if it even matters anyway. 2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or a less nice, but exact 70%
November 7, 2025 at 1:03 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Something I felt the need to say before posting anything for SortaPicks again (tw/cw: mentions of a real-life suicide)

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is 988
Before I post anything else for SortaPicks, I'd just like to send my condolences to the family and friends of Cowboys DE Marshawn Kneeland, who, just days after scoring his first career touchdown on a blocked punt, tragically lost his life last night at age 24, with it appearing that he claimed his life amidst declining mental health. All I can even say amidst a tragedy like this is that you are never alone. There's always people out there who love you and whose lives are all the better because of you. If you need help, it's more than okay to go to them for help, because you don't deserve to fight alone.
November 7, 2025 at 12:31 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Some chuds really going through it rn XD
November 5, 2025 at 4:19 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
@jeff-gluck.bsky.social summed up what happened with the NASCAR Xfinity championship perfectly on Twitter. I just hope he's right about this awful format finally changing (and not just with a 3-3-4-shaped bandaid)
What a strange vibe at the track. I’m having trouble putting into words. It’s like oddly subdued. If the format wasn’t already changing, I’d feel outrage and anger. But it is changing. It just didn’t change soon enough. I feel bad for Zilisch. But at the same time, I also feel bad for Love. Because the reaction to the format is not fair to him after he had the performance of his life. He shouldn’t have to apologize for it or defend it. The fact a championship could be accompanied by such a numb feeling is obviously another sign the system needs to change. But again, it already is. Last night was a crisis averted for NASCAR with Corey Heim winning, particularly the way he did it. People around the garage felt relief today. Tonight, NASCAR’s luck ran out.
November 2, 2025 at 2:33 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Out of boredom, I looked at every World Series where a team went home with a 3-2 lead (in a 2-3-2 format anyway), got out my kinda old doodle board, and tracked how many times each of the 3 possible scenarios happened (hopefully it's not too hard to read and I got all this right lol)
*Led 3-2 going home and won Game 6 (12/26): 1930 A's, 1935 Tigers, 1951 Yankees, 1953 Yankees, 1977 Yankees, 1980 Phillies, 1993 Blue Jays, 1995 Braves, 1996 Yankees, 2009 Yankees, 2013 Red Sox, and 2022 Astros *Led 3-2 going home and lost Game 6, but won Game 7 (5/26): 1931 Cardinals, 1947 Yankees, 1960 Pirates, 1964 Cardinals, and 1997 Marlins *Led 3-2 going home, but lost both Games 6 and 7 (9/26): 1926 Yankees, 1934 Tigers, 1952 Dodgers, 1958 Braves, 1968 Cardinals, 1973 Mets, 1979 Orioles, 2016 Cleveland, and 2019 Astros
October 31, 2025 at 3:11 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week9 #nflweek9 #sortapicks #sortasports
*Ravens-Dolphins (TNF): Ravens *Bears-Bengals: Bears *Falcons-Patriots: Patriots *49ers-Giants: 49ers *Colts-Steelers: Colts *Chargers-Titans: Chargers *Vikings-Lions: Lions *Panthers-Packers: Packers *Broncos-Texans: Broncos *Saints-Rams: Rams *Jaguars-Raiders: Jaguars *Chiefs-Bills (National CBS): Bills *Seahawks-Commanders (SNF): Seahawks *Cardinals-Cowboys (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 9 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3%
October 31, 2025 at 12:29 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 8 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week8 #nflweek8 #sortapicks #sortasports
*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing. *Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31. *Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D *Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent! *Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this. *Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad. *49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams. *Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted. *Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore? *Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up. *Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)! *Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster! *Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden. 2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%
October 31, 2025 at 12:17 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Me, someone who's been awful at managing backlogs of all types of media since I was in like 6th grade
October 26, 2025 at 8:47 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Here's my segment for the SortaPicks recap. It's literally just my stream-of-consciousness thoughts to a friend who's frankly endured this shit even longer than I have, but this utter meme of a franchise doesn't deserve an original segment anyway. #bengals #firezactaylor
Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much.
October 26, 2025 at 8:45 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
The Los Angeles Dodgers rn (credit to SportsLogos.net for the logo) #worldseries
Dodgers after Game 1 (over meme of Jack in the ice in The Shining) - "Go to Canadia, they said. It would be easy, they said."
October 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Week 8 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #nflweek8 #week8 #sortasports #sortapicks
*Vikings-Chargers (TNF): Chargers *Dolphins-Falcons: Falcons *Jets-Bengals: Bengals (Wow, it feels too good to be true picking them with confidence for the first time since... I don't even know when!) *Bears-Ravens: Bears *Browns-Patriots: Patriots *Giants-Eagles: Eagles *49ers-Texans: 49ers *Bills-Panthers: Bills *Buccaneers-Saints: Buccaneers *Titans-Colts: Colts *Cowboys-Broncos: Broncos *Packers-Steelers (SNF): Packers *Commanders-Chiefs (MNF): Chiefs 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 8 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%
October 24, 2025 at 12:09 AM