Sharkey 2.0
@sortasketchy.bsky.social
Sharkey is a fictional character. Cautionary example that assholes might mistake for cool. Did not not invent the word Metroidvania.
Pinned
Sharkey 2.0
@sortasketchy.bsky.social
· Jun 15
New profile on account of bsky will ban you without warning or notification if you tell a crybully to punch himself in the soft spot on top of his head.
I guess they unbanned my original account at some point? Imma just keep this one in my back pocket for the next time it happens I guess.
July 26, 2025 at 7:32 AM
I guess they unbanned my original account at some point? Imma just keep this one in my back pocket for the next time it happens I guess.
I only deal with neighbors on fae rules. Like, if you want your cat back leave six chicken and three duck eggs in the mushroom circle and I'll let him back out at moonrise.
July 26, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I only deal with neighbors on fae rules. Like, if you want your cat back leave six chicken and three duck eggs in the mushroom circle and I'll let him back out at moonrise.
There's no better revenge on siblings than their kids thinking you're the coolest shit in the universe and declaring that they're also going to live in a bus and get paid to play videogames and read comic books.
July 25, 2025 at 6:35 PM
There's no better revenge on siblings than their kids thinking you're the coolest shit in the universe and declaring that they're also going to live in a bus and get paid to play videogames and read comic books.
overhearing the kids talking about the sans fight in undertale and I just blurted out "you'd have to be some kind of dick to want to fight sans" and their mortification followed by excitement was exactly like when I had a couple of hispanic coworkers and they realized I could understand spanish
July 25, 2025 at 6:17 PM
overhearing the kids talking about the sans fight in undertale and I just blurted out "you'd have to be some kind of dick to want to fight sans" and their mortification followed by excitement was exactly like when I had a couple of hispanic coworkers and they realized I could understand spanish
I'm gonna do robberies wearing a domino mask and prison stripes while carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it so anyone who gives a description sounds like a crazy asshole.
July 24, 2025 at 3:12 AM
I'm gonna do robberies wearing a domino mask and prison stripes while carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it so anyone who gives a description sounds like a crazy asshole.
The manual is all "turn these knobs in exactly this position and then turn on the pumps"
okay done
"... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you"
*dead, covered in hot shit*
Well, fuck.
okay done
"... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you"
*dead, covered in hot shit*
Well, fuck.
July 23, 2025 at 8:19 PM
The manual is all "turn these knobs in exactly this position and then turn on the pumps"
okay done
"... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you"
*dead, covered in hot shit*
Well, fuck.
okay done
"... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you"
*dead, covered in hot shit*
Well, fuck.
gonna drink beer on my beach all day like a lazy piece of garbage
July 23, 2025 at 7:06 PM
gonna drink beer on my beach all day like a lazy piece of garbage
Fucking around on Hinge like no, I really just want someone to watch cartoons and play videogames with. No, I'm like fifty. Yes, I know what twitch is. Listen, do you like Adventure Time? Also, do you have a car? I want to firebomb a concentration camp... Hello? ... Hello?
July 18, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Fucking around on Hinge like no, I really just want someone to watch cartoons and play videogames with. No, I'm like fifty. Yes, I know what twitch is. Listen, do you like Adventure Time? Also, do you have a car? I want to firebomb a concentration camp... Hello? ... Hello?
I love how if you wake up and take a slug of whiskey it's a problem, but if you have a glass of chardonnay by the pool at noon it's cute. Anyway I'm doing both.
July 18, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I love how if you wake up and take a slug of whiskey it's a problem, but if you have a glass of chardonnay by the pool at noon it's cute. Anyway I'm doing both.
I like to pretend I'm a nice person but my inner mister rogers died years ago. Nuremberg trials would be great. Flensing and scaphing would be better. We need some kind of stasis technology to keep the pigshit wannabe king alive and screaming as an example forever.
July 18, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I like to pretend I'm a nice person but my inner mister rogers died years ago. Nuremberg trials would be great. Flensing and scaphing would be better. We need some kind of stasis technology to keep the pigshit wannabe king alive and screaming as an example forever.
If I had a nickel for every time a star trek season cliffhanger resolved with "put them to sleep" I'd have two nickels, but at least last time they weren't hanging from the cliff for two fucking years.
July 18, 2025 at 10:40 AM
If I had a nickel for every time a star trek season cliffhanger resolved with "put them to sleep" I'd have two nickels, but at least last time they weren't hanging from the cliff for two fucking years.
I feel like I should sign up and then just fuck around on my phone until they fire me. I feel like maybe we should all do that.
July 18, 2025 at 3:53 AM
I feel like I should sign up and then just fuck around on my phone until they fire me. I feel like maybe we should all do that.
When you've been told for years that dating sites are hell and men never get matches, so you put up a half-assed profile like "Hi, I'm a traumatized autistic queerdo that lives in a bus" and get shitloads of messages in like an hour.
Then you look at every other dude on there like oh. Ooooh.
Then you look at every other dude on there like oh. Ooooh.
July 18, 2025 at 12:53 AM
When you've been told for years that dating sites are hell and men never get matches, so you put up a half-assed profile like "Hi, I'm a traumatized autistic queerdo that lives in a bus" and get shitloads of messages in like an hour.
Then you look at every other dude on there like oh. Ooooh.
Then you look at every other dude on there like oh. Ooooh.
I like new star traks but turning gorns into like, ALIEN$ aliens is silly as shit. I'm never gonna take this guy seriously no matter how much goopy cg slime you put on him
still want that mylar shower curtain BBQ apron tho
still want that mylar shower curtain BBQ apron tho
July 17, 2025 at 10:02 PM
I like new star traks but turning gorns into like, ALIEN$ aliens is silly as shit. I'm never gonna take this guy seriously no matter how much goopy cg slime you put on him
still want that mylar shower curtain BBQ apron tho
still want that mylar shower curtain BBQ apron tho
this new star trek has a bit where Carol Kane is chewing out Scotty for not writing things down while he's jerry rigging shit
basically what I hear when I'm kicking my own ass cus I can't figure out how I made something work a year ago and now it's just crazy person shit that runs on magic
basically what I hear when I'm kicking my own ass cus I can't figure out how I made something work a year ago and now it's just crazy person shit that runs on magic
July 17, 2025 at 9:31 PM
this new star trek has a bit where Carol Kane is chewing out Scotty for not writing things down while he's jerry rigging shit
basically what I hear when I'm kicking my own ass cus I can't figure out how I made something work a year ago and now it's just crazy person shit that runs on magic
basically what I hear when I'm kicking my own ass cus I can't figure out how I made something work a year ago and now it's just crazy person shit that runs on magic
Love finding a video where they're talking about exactly where you live like it's the surface of the moon. All "how do people live here? what are they like?" while you pass a joint with a pack of coyotes gathered around the screen like yeah tell me bro I wanna know.
July 17, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Love finding a video where they're talking about exactly where you live like it's the surface of the moon. All "how do people live here? what are they like?" while you pass a joint with a pack of coyotes gathered around the screen like yeah tell me bro I wanna know.
I mostly wish computers would stop trying to guess what I want but sometimes it's like do you need ten hours of ambient klingon spaceship noises to fall asleep to and yes that would be great thanks
July 17, 2025 at 4:29 AM
I mostly wish computers would stop trying to guess what I want but sometimes it's like do you need ten hours of ambient klingon spaceship noises to fall asleep to and yes that would be great thanks
dude just rattled off my dream blunt rotation and then after a pregnant pause he fucking windmill dunked that last name
the Fantastic Four cast get asked about their own personal fantastic four, which leads to some canned niceties from pascal, kirby and quinn, and an insanely he knows ball answer from ebon.
July 17, 2025 at 4:11 AM
dude just rattled off my dream blunt rotation and then after a pregnant pause he fucking windmill dunked that last name
why is everything in my house a cursed artifact
July 16, 2025 at 4:54 AM
why is everything in my house a cursed artifact
Nevermind the existential angst. The worst cat ever showed up, everything is fine.
July 16, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Nevermind the existential angst. The worst cat ever showed up, everything is fine.
Binging on old "unknown author" demoscene archives and it's wild not knowing who it was that squeezed this shit out of a budget sound chip designed in 1981. Some German kid that's now in his 60s just got a chill like someone walked over his grave.
July 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Binging on old "unknown author" demoscene archives and it's wild not knowing who it was that squeezed this shit out of a budget sound chip designed in 1981. Some German kid that's now in his 60s just got a chill like someone walked over his grave.
Tinkering with a game idea and trying to decide whether I should make something that'll run on an actual C64 or do it with a modern engine and limit myself to the same vibes without the actual technical limitations. Like buying a fast horse and blowing its legs off for aesthetic reasons.
July 16, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Tinkering with a game idea and trying to decide whether I should make something that'll run on an actual C64 or do it with a modern engine and limit myself to the same vibes without the actual technical limitations. Like buying a fast horse and blowing its legs off for aesthetic reasons.
I once got a ride home from a random dude in a dune buggy who was just like "Get in." Then he tore ass all over nob hill while shouting over a megaphone "GAVIN NEWSOM IS DEAD! I KILLED HIM! I'M AN AXE MURDERER! VOTE FOR GRASSHOPPER!"
I had to tuck and roll as we passed my apartment. Dude rocked.
I had to tuck and roll as we passed my apartment. Dude rocked.
July 15, 2025 at 3:26 AM
I once got a ride home from a random dude in a dune buggy who was just like "Get in." Then he tore ass all over nob hill while shouting over a megaphone "GAVIN NEWSOM IS DEAD! I KILLED HIM! I'M AN AXE MURDERER! VOTE FOR GRASSHOPPER!"
I had to tuck and roll as we passed my apartment. Dude rocked.
I had to tuck and roll as we passed my apartment. Dude rocked.
Scrolling while the sonic running out of air music plays in your head on an endless loop.
July 14, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Scrolling while the sonic running out of air music plays in your head on an endless loop.