The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
@spider-malk.bsky.social
Movie bloke. Metal bloke. Suspiciously well-written tool of Deep Woke. Weekly Wackadoo.
38, he/him, Scotland
38, he/him, Scotland
Pinned
Ma boi Spyro.
If you could choose one video game character to bring into the real world as your own personal bodyguard, who would it be?
November 13, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Ma boi Spyro.
The full context of this is also funny, but please do take a minute to enjoy this sentence in isolation. I very nearly spat my coffee all over my laptop.
my mother's hearing aid has broken the doorbell
November 12, 2025 at 10:18 AM
The full context of this is also funny, but please do take a minute to enjoy this sentence in isolation. I very nearly spat my coffee all over my laptop.
There will come a day when I remember to take my glasses off before opening the oven door...
November 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
There will come a day when I remember to take my glasses off before opening the oven door...
Predator: Badlands (2025): This one is way more of an action/adventure flick than any of the previous installments, and making the Predator the hero is certainly a departure, but if you can't try something new in the ninth installment, when can you?
November 9, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Predator: Badlands (2025): This one is way more of an action/adventure flick than any of the previous installments, and making the Predator the hero is certainly a departure, but if you can't try something new in the ninth installment, when can you?
[puts face through wall]
Funny Coca-Cola meme that was apparently spotted on LinkedIn
November 8, 2025 at 6:16 PM
[puts face through wall]
Jurassic World Rebirth (2025): The plot and dialogue are as dumb as any of the sequels have ever been, but it's more than made up for with the best dino-action set-pieces since the Spielberg days. Still not a patch on the perfect original, but a worthy couple of hours of dinosaur fun.
November 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Jurassic World Rebirth (2025): The plot and dialogue are as dumb as any of the sequels have ever been, but it's more than made up for with the best dino-action set-pieces since the Spielberg days. Still not a patch on the perfect original, but a worthy couple of hours of dinosaur fun.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
I've seen that fucking godawful AI Coca-Cola ad now and I'm fuming.
November 8, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I've seen that fucking godawful AI Coca-Cola ad now and I'm fuming.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Frankenstein (2025): Quite possibly the definitive* adaptation of one of the best books ever written. Gorgeous visuals, superb performances, more haunting than "scary", which is just as true of the novel. One of GDT's finest, and that's saying something.
November 7, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Frankenstein (2025): Quite possibly the definitive* adaptation of one of the best books ever written. Gorgeous visuals, superb performances, more haunting than "scary", which is just as true of the novel. One of GDT's finest, and that's saying something.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
when will a frankenstein movie be brave enough to let us see the doctor choosing the dick
November 7, 2025 at 9:40 AM
when will a frankenstein movie be brave enough to let us see the doctor choosing the dick
I feel the urge to clarify: this is about the Captain America/Black Panther game. I couldn't care less about GTA.
So I feel like my response to "that game you fancy has been delayed" should be "DAMMIT" and not "ah sweet, that kicks an expense further down the road."
Am... am I broken?
Am... am I broken?
November 7, 2025 at 10:46 AM
I feel the urge to clarify: this is about the Captain America/Black Panther game. I couldn't care less about GTA.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
I wouldn't recommend doing that
November 6, 2025 at 9:59 PM
I wouldn't recommend doing that
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Not this month, he's not
November 6, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Not this month, he's not
So I feel like my response to "that game you fancy has been delayed" should be "DAMMIT" and not "ah sweet, that kicks an expense further down the road."
Am... am I broken?
Am... am I broken?
November 6, 2025 at 10:07 PM
So I feel like my response to "that game you fancy has been delayed" should be "DAMMIT" and not "ah sweet, that kicks an expense further down the road."
Am... am I broken?
Am... am I broken?
Excellent points made here, folks
The fifth(?) version of Star Trek 4 finally being killed and the Kelvinverse crew being benched is one of those depressingly stark moments where you realise that the entire franchise is, in some ways, a Kobyashi Maru scenario.
November 6, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Excellent points made here, folks
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Obviously I'm watching V For Vendetta and obviously I watch it every year on the 5th but obviously this year I'm enjoying it a lot more because the fash are having a shite day today.
November 5, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Obviously I'm watching V For Vendetta and obviously I watch it every year on the 5th but obviously this year I'm enjoying it a lot more because the fash are having a shite day today.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Picard: there ARE FOUR GUYS! FOUR
November 3, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Picard: there ARE FOUR GUYS! FOUR
A bunch of people who support Donald Trump are going to say today, with no hint of self-awareness, that Zohran Mamdani is "too immature" to be a political leader.
November 5, 2025 at 10:07 AM
A bunch of people who support Donald Trump are going to say today, with no hint of self-awareness, that Zohran Mamdani is "too immature" to be a political leader.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
A movie you've seen more than seven times with a gif.
November 3, 2025 at 1:34 PM
A movie you've seen more than seven times with a gif.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. The convoluted continuity and reboots of the DC Universe
2. Madonna’s discography
3. Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, why it sucks, and how to fix it
1. The convoluted continuity and reboots of the DC Universe
2. Madonna’s discography
3. Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, why it sucks, and how to fix it
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. Spider-Man
2. Pokémon
3. Ramones
1. Spider-Man
2. Pokémon
3. Ramones
November 2, 2025 at 8:26 PM
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. The convoluted continuity and reboots of the DC Universe
2. Madonna’s discography
3. Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, why it sucks, and how to fix it
1. The convoluted continuity and reboots of the DC Universe
2. Madonna’s discography
3. Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, why it sucks, and how to fix it
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. Spider-Man
2. Pokémon
3. Ramones
1. Spider-Man
2. Pokémon
3. Ramones
November 2, 2025 at 8:27 PM
List 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours without prep:
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series
1. Spider-Man
2. Batman
3. The Legacy of Kain series