Don't tempt me with a good time. Also, stop being a pussy.

Litfic, like academic papers, may impress other people in the field, but it's a waste of time on the public that couldn't possibly care less about it. Gonna keep writing my hand-holdy lesbian genre fiction until people start shaming people for ignoring the ↑Shift key.

The average person is just too damn dumb for litfic anymore. All those workshops, all those classes studying and sweating, all those days spent in baths gone cold reading ... and for what? An audience that can't be asked to write their own names right, let alone read at an adult level.

Martha Stewart's also got a rare sense of enigma. I mean, how many insider-trading Caucasian ladies are known for being actual friends with an affiliated gangster rapper legend?