t0ker 🇨🇦
@t0kerfr0g.bsky.social
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Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Correction: during an earlier ad read, we inadvertently referred to Walmart as "the Walmart." We apologize to our sponsor. A confused intern used a first draft of the script, and has been let go.
Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by the Walmart. The first ten customers on Black Friday will get to fight Bob, the loss prevention guy, for a chance to buy an exclusive Pokémon Trading Card Game booster pack!
November 28, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Correction: during an earlier ad read, we inadvertently referred to Walmart as "the Walmart." We apologize to our sponsor. A confused intern used a first draft of the script, and has been let go.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
It’s not true that our wild bear habitat only contains a Billy Bob robot from an abandoned Showbiz Pizza Place. We also put a jukebox in there.
November 28, 2025 at 4:57 PM
It’s not true that our wild bear habitat only contains a Billy Bob robot from an abandoned Showbiz Pizza Place. We also put a jukebox in there.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
When kids fight in the douchey sports bars on a Friday night it’s boring and stupid. When old guys fight in the hole in the wall down the street there’s a backstory and you want to write a short story or a poem about it
November 8, 2024 at 1:04 PM
When kids fight in the douchey sports bars on a Friday night it’s boring and stupid. When old guys fight in the hole in the wall down the street there’s a backstory and you want to write a short story or a poem about it
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
In other news, there’s a shopping cart making a break from the old Stop ‘n Shop on State Road. Heads up if you’re traveling north
November 28, 2025 at 4:57 PM
In other news, there’s a shopping cart making a break from the old Stop ‘n Shop on State Road. Heads up if you’re traveling north
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
in the emergency room for a snake bite and they rush in a camel to watch The Notebook
November 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
in the emergency room for a snake bite and they rush in a camel to watch The Notebook
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
I unclogged the shower drain with a clothes hanger and the sudden, terrifying knowledge of what that slime actually is.
November 28, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I unclogged the shower drain with a clothes hanger and the sudden, terrifying knowledge of what that slime actually is.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Considering having my whole body removed
November 28, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Considering having my whole body removed
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
It should alarm us that AI videos are getting harder and harder to identify.
This also calls all real videos into question.
The misinformation they demanded is now mandatory.
This also calls all real videos into question.
The misinformation they demanded is now mandatory.
November 28, 2025 at 3:33 PM
It should alarm us that AI videos are getting harder and harder to identify.
This also calls all real videos into question.
The misinformation they demanded is now mandatory.
This also calls all real videos into question.
The misinformation they demanded is now mandatory.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead—your next stop, the AutoZone!
November 28, 2025 at 3:46 PM
You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead—your next stop, the AutoZone!
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Watch The 20 Most Epic Lip Sync Rap Battles In History Featuring Joseph Gordon Levitt Blow This Red Panda's Mind (While It's Swimming)
November 28, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Watch The 20 Most Epic Lip Sync Rap Battles In History Featuring Joseph Gordon Levitt Blow This Red Panda's Mind (While It's Swimming)
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
that’s nice, seafood is expensive
November 28, 2025 at 4:16 PM
that’s nice, seafood is expensive
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Only 27 shopping days until all those people are back in your living room
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Only 27 shopping days until all those people are back in your living room
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Black Friday Special: The last ounce of my patience. It's going fast, and I will not be restocking it.
November 28, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Black Friday Special: The last ounce of my patience. It's going fast, and I will not be restocking it.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
*uses 3 seashells to smoke meth*
November 28, 2025 at 4:15 AM
*uses 3 seashells to smoke meth*
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
This day in history. 1990. Charges against Axl Rose for assault with what the victim called "a really good bottle of Chardonnay" were dropped because there's no such thing.
November 28, 2023 at 10:43 AM
This day in history. 1990. Charges against Axl Rose for assault with what the victim called "a really good bottle of Chardonnay" were dropped because there's no such thing.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.
November 27, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
She just announced a "Black Friday Flash Sale" on all my past mistakes. The ones I thought were buried in the garage are now prominently displayed in the living room.
November 28, 2025 at 3:27 PM
She just announced a "Black Friday Flash Sale" on all my past mistakes. The ones I thought were buried in the garage are now prominently displayed in the living room.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Can’t remember who said if you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
September 23, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Can’t remember who said if you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
Hark the herald edgelords whinge
November 28, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Hark the herald edgelords whinge
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omg I thought this was an Onion article lmao
Just cancel your Netflix subscription and stop buying avocados. You'll be fine
November 28, 2025 at 2:25 PM
omg I thought this was an Onion article lmao
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
turkey’s in the oven, table’s set
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
November 27, 2025 at 6:10 PM
turkey’s in the oven, table’s set
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
time to load the medicine cabinet with pingpong balls
Reposted by t0ker 🇨🇦
you’ll never win if you don’t play
you’ll also never be trampled to death at the mall if you don’t shop
you’ll also never be trampled to death at the mall if you don’t shop
November 28, 2025 at 2:02 PM
you’ll never win if you don’t play
you’ll also never be trampled to death at the mall if you don’t shop
you’ll also never be trampled to death at the mall if you don’t shop