You know what we don't talk enough about?

Robert the amateur magician doing his 'escape act' on Sky Star Search (1990). One of my favourite segments of TV ever broadcast

Guest appearances by Keith Chegwin, Rustie Lee and Jim Bowen

All those dates and my old digs of Warrington still gets shafted. We got bombed by the IRA once. We used to be somebody!

Whenever I see a story about the 'A.I. actor' Tilly Norwood, for some reason I immediately think of that Day Today bit with the reanimated corpse that ends up dating a supermodel, because people treat it completely as normal even though it's fucking mad and we've let too many rich virgins run amok.

If you don't like pumpkin spice they literally throw you in jail these days.

It's just me, but seasonal people are fucking weird. Just eat tomatoes and have your funny flavoured coffee whenever you want.

They're going to use it anyway. Big 'You're not my real Dad' syndrome from people emboldened by the world leaders being absolute fucking maniacs.

CUNT. Call it a cunt. Not enough people just call things a proper fucking cunt anymore.

I mean feel free to call a computer the N-word, or the R-word, or a bundle of sticks. I don't endorse, but some can't be changed. I'd say refrain from doing it publicly, you're already a cunt for using them words, but a server will be less inclined to rightly stove your dick in if you do it outside.

Is Wireback a take on the slur usually thrown the way of Mexicans?

I think I see it like this, Wireback isn't offensive personally as it's an inanimate object (yes computes are you fucking virgins), the real term is very bad as humans are better than laptops.

People should just say CUNT more.

Whenever I see a story about the 'A.I. actor' Tilly Norwood, for some reason I immediately think of that Day Today bit with the reanimated corpse that ends up dating a supermodel, because people treat it completely as normal even though it's fucking mad and we've let too many rich virgins run amok.

I'm sorry... Fucking what?!

That Tilly thing?

Can somebody fill me in on the whole "don't be racist to computers" thing, because I couldn't figure it out while searching, and I'm sorry, but everyone discussing it sounds like they've gone mad, or ironically got a virus and need rebooting. Is everyone doing... grand?

Love the detail of him basically conducting an affair and that pic of him in the cart looking like he's been arrested. Top tier stuff, Reggie is a real vibe!

He looks like your widowed Nan's new fancy piece who drives a Morgan.

There's a fair whack they were the only artists that day that Geldof insist they be on drugs.

Oh god "Don't Waste My Time" was absolutely begging for a Dennis Waterman vehicle, but he'd have to cover it.

His Live Aid kit of a denim jeans and a BBC camera colour bleeding hot pink buttoned shirt always looked the biz.

Play the hits, keep making songs that sound like inferior versions of the hits. Don't fuck about, that'll be fine lads. It'll be a sad day with Rossi leaves this mortal coil.

They have five types of songs. Delightfully fun 12 bar, 3 chord bangers... And filler, skipable knock offs of the bangers. In the Army Now. Matchstick Men. The mostly forgettable covers... And they all sound the same. It's great!

Parfitt was a bit of a thick melon and one of those Top Gear magazine car shaggers and somehow because it's him and he's harmless, it's quite endearingly funny. They're like Tony Blackburn but with three chords and coke.

But they were saying that drugs were good, drugs that are very illegal. I'm thinking of calling the police even now.

I just can't accept anything negative about Status Quo. They just absolutely delight me by their existence and how completely harmless they are. The musical version of a working men's club double act. They're basically Cannon & Ball, or ZZ Top without the beards and that silly car #TOTP

Sabrina Carpenter for another 40 years, and another 40 years of me completely convinced she's never actually done it. She's pop music's Richard Richard.

I miss that you know. People just completely peaking in cool really quick and new stuff coming in. I always think about how insane Spandau Ballet feels in 1989 barely four years from Live Aid and they've gone full midlife crisis and might as well have been around for 25 years instead of just 8.

If Britain was a house party