Tom Gardiner
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thogar.bsky.social
Tom Gardiner
@thogar.bsky.social
570 followers 520 following 2.8K posts
Reality is overrated.

User #356,149. I've been here a while, I don't do much.
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thogar.bsky.social
All I want for Christmas is you...to shut up
Photoshopped picture of Mariah Carey shopping with the caption, In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store's speaker system.
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Instead of a hand he has his head up his ass.
Social media post that says, Times when it's ok to call a woman "Piggy" at your job: -You're a Muppet addressing one of your fellow Muppet coworkers by her actual legal name -Literally that's it
November 28, 2025 at 9:23 PM
thogar.bsky.social
He's onto something
Social media post that says, "each state should have an allocation of 100 years of age for their senators. you can send two 50 year olds but if you want dianne feinstein in the senate you gotta send a 13 year old too"
November 28, 2025 at 3:45 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Forget March 14, today is the real Pi(e) day.
November 27, 2025 at 9:05 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Y'all excuse me, my bath is ready.
#Thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 8:38 PM
thogar.bsky.social
How to buy the tastiest cereal
Picture of a donut on a bed of Cheerios. The caption says, "I've come to the conclusion that the bigger the cheerio the better it tastes."
November 25, 2025 at 11:56 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Look at my local dispensary handing out boxes of matches like it's the 1960s! I love the nostalgia.
A box of matches from a cannabis dispensary. There's a picture of an alligator on the box with the words "Best of the Bayou" on top and the words "This grass is greener" on the side.
November 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM
thogar.bsky.social
This would be immensely practical
Social media post that says, In flight ntertainment should have a category "movies you can finish before we land" and eliminate titles as you get closer
November 25, 2025 at 4:29 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Thor has his hammer, I have mine.
November 25, 2025 at 2:21 AM
thogar.bsky.social
One! One very good point! Ah ah ah ah...
Social media post that says : I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was. I said, "the muppet from Sesame Street. They told me, "he doesn't count!" I replied, "I assure you, he does."
November 23, 2025 at 7:52 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I'm serious about turkey, y'all. #HappyThanksgiving
Photo of a tag on a frozen turkey showing a weight of 23.84 pounds.
November 22, 2025 at 3:58 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Who's hungry? I've got left-overs. #biscuits
A pan of homemade biscuits missing 2 biscuits.
November 20, 2025 at 1:33 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Damned teenagers'll eat anything
Social media post that shows a poster with the poorly-worded title: Download advice on feeding newborns to teens. The comment by the poster is: Editors are still a valuable commodity.
November 17, 2025 at 3:21 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
November 17, 2025 at 2:56 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Thanks to healthcare in the USA I just bought a good used car from a brand called Oral Surgery.
November 15, 2025 at 6:03 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Smokey Bear approves. (About the only thing AI is good for)
November 13, 2025 at 6:32 PM
thogar.bsky.social
my inside voice
Social media post of a dialog between 2 people. It reads as follows. Stranger: Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to 425 Franklin Street please? Me: Oh for sure, so what you're gonna wanna do is type the address into your phone and then do what it says
November 9, 2025 at 6:06 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Me flirting...
November 8, 2025 at 12:21 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I care about my job (when I'm on the clock).
A picture of a plane from the childrens' show Thomas the Tank Engine with a warzone in the background. The little plane is smiling while flying away from the melee. It's captioned, "When your workplace is in chaos but your shift is over."
November 8, 2025 at 12:01 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Someone finally realized we all want to feel like we're shitting in a truck stop stall, but from the comfort of our own homes.
A picture of Charmin's new "Forever Roll" that looks just like those giant truck stop bathroom stall rolls of toilet paper.
November 5, 2025 at 1:33 PM
thogar.bsky.social
live view from cuomo hq
November 5, 2025 at 10:42 AM
thogar.bsky.social
I fired up my air fryer and made some bacon-wrapped, shrimp-stuffed jalapeño poppers with a core of thickened, sweet pepper jam and a pepper jam glaze. This was an experiment, I feverishly ate four. Spicy, sweet, salty, smokey. I'm calling this one a success.
November 4, 2025 at 9:54 PM
thogar.bsky.social
She forgot to add that it's freezing, too.
Single panel comic of a man sitting on the table of a doctor's exam room wearing a hospital gown and getting his blood pressure taken. The clinician says to him, "Now that you're semi-nude under garish lighting with a total stranger in an environment synonymous with illness and death, let's take your blood pressure to see if it's normal."
November 4, 2025 at 4:16 PM
thogar.bsky.social
If you haven't seen flowers, how will you know the gentleness of the wind, motherfucker?! Oh, and nice to see you. Motherfucker.
(found on random Amazon pkg)
A sticker on a white box from Amazon. It's a picture of a flower. Above it are the words, "Nice to meet you" and below it is, "People who have seen flowers will know the gentleness of the wind."
November 2, 2025 at 4:42 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I spent the last 3 days cleaning and repainting our 29-year-old storage shed. As I was closing the doors on a job well done one of the doors broke. Guess who's building new doors?
November 1, 2025 at 11:40 PM