Tim Unkenholz
@timunken.bsky.social
Formerly Buzzfeed, now playing Red Redemption again.
Need a copywriter? Hire me! https://sites.google.com/view/tim-unkenholz/home
Need a copywriter? Hire me! https://sites.google.com/view/tim-unkenholz/home
Just had the most stressful dream where I got a party sub for an event but the place just sent me a bag of the ingredients so I had to assemble a whole party sub by myself
November 11, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Just had the most stressful dream where I got a party sub for an event but the place just sent me a bag of the ingredients so I had to assemble a whole party sub by myself
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
Ah, together at last
November 10, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Ah, together at last
Imagine collapsing to the floor and when you wake up you realize the doctor treating you is Dr. Oz
November 6, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Imagine collapsing to the floor and when you wake up you realize the doctor treating you is Dr. Oz
My psychiatrist has her desk in front of these huge, bright windows so this is what she looks like in our sessions
October 31, 2025 at 4:43 PM
My psychiatrist has her desk in front of these huge, bright windows so this is what she looks like in our sessions
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
if the bassist looks like this you’re gonna die in the pit
October 31, 2025 at 12:42 AM
if the bassist looks like this you’re gonna die in the pit
My boys wrasslin'
October 30, 2025 at 11:30 PM
My boys wrasslin'
Early vote for Zman @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social
October 27, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Early vote for Zman @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
my man hitting em with the "ehhh heh heh heh"
October 27, 2025 at 1:25 PM
my man hitting em with the "ehhh heh heh heh"
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
i know it sucks but it must feel a little fun to be that guy with the backhoe destroying the white house. that’s like the final boss of operating heavy machinery
October 21, 2025 at 9:03 PM
i know it sucks but it must feel a little fun to be that guy with the backhoe destroying the white house. that’s like the final boss of operating heavy machinery
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
Tried to sneak a photo of a cute doggo and accidentally had long exposure on and I believe I have created man’s greatest expression of art
October 21, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Tried to sneak a photo of a cute doggo and accidentally had long exposure on and I believe I have created man’s greatest expression of art
Do you think there's a stolen valor situation when Werewolf comes to the Monster Mash? He's the only one there who is alive and he's only spooky once a month. Like most of his life he's just a guy who works as a project manager somewhere
October 21, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Do you think there's a stolen valor situation when Werewolf comes to the Monster Mash? He's the only one there who is alive and he's only spooky once a month. Like most of his life he's just a guy who works as a project manager somewhere
The guy in the penthouse of my building is out on his balcony blasting...what sounds like footage from a particularly contentious clash between ice and protesters. Sounds like an odd way to hang but, enjoy brother
October 19, 2025 at 5:46 PM
The guy in the penthouse of my building is out on his balcony blasting...what sounds like footage from a particularly contentious clash between ice and protesters. Sounds like an odd way to hang but, enjoy brother
Finally finished a job application and then got this
October 14, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Finally finished a job application and then got this
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
caught my vampire neighbor creeping through my front door. he claims my saying “for sure dude, we should definitely hang out sometime” the other night counts as an invitation, but I disagree. we’re on hold with the etiquette hotline
October 13, 2025 at 3:18 AM
caught my vampire neighbor creeping through my front door. he claims my saying “for sure dude, we should definitely hang out sometime” the other night counts as an invitation, but I disagree. we’re on hold with the etiquette hotline
Homer Simpson could easily befriend Donkey Kong I think
October 12, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Homer Simpson could easily befriend Donkey Kong I think
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
The clip where you get the context at the end has me dying
October 12, 2025 at 8:42 PM
The clip where you get the context at the end has me dying
Officially sent over 300 job applications
October 10, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Officially sent over 300 job applications
Seeing John Carpenter live tonight. His life is so cool. Playing the music from your cult hit movies with your son and your son's best friend? Thats just what life is all about man
October 10, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Seeing John Carpenter live tonight. His life is so cool. Playing the music from your cult hit movies with your son and your son's best friend? Thats just what life is all about man
Reposted by Tim Unkenholz
statler: i heard she wrote “wood” about his penis
waldorf: yeah and “cancelled!” about his playoff plans ha ha ha ha
waldorf: yeah and “cancelled!” about his playoff plans ha ha ha ha
October 7, 2025 at 3:41 AM
statler: i heard she wrote “wood” about his penis
waldorf: yeah and “cancelled!” about his playoff plans ha ha ha ha
waldorf: yeah and “cancelled!” about his playoff plans ha ha ha ha
Flo taught me zeal
The Geico Gecko taught me humility
Limu Emu and Doug taught me friendship
Jake from State Farm taught me community
The General taught me honor 🫡
The Geico Gecko taught me humility
Limu Emu and Doug taught me friendship
Jake from State Farm taught me community
The General taught me honor 🫡
October 5, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Flo taught me zeal
The Geico Gecko taught me humility
Limu Emu and Doug taught me friendship
Jake from State Farm taught me community
The General taught me honor 🫡
The Geico Gecko taught me humility
Limu Emu and Doug taught me friendship
Jake from State Farm taught me community
The General taught me honor 🫡
Rewatching Nope (2022). Movie is ok but gotta give it 10/10 sheerly for the amount of cool band shirts I want to own and wear
October 5, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Rewatching Nope (2022). Movie is ok but gotta give it 10/10 sheerly for the amount of cool band shirts I want to own and wear
Imagining HP Lovecraft having a conversation with Travis Kelce, encountering a white guy who talks like a black guy for the first time
October 4, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Imagining HP Lovecraft having a conversation with Travis Kelce, encountering a white guy who talks like a black guy for the first time