Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
@tomvanantwerp.com
💻 code things, mostly TypeScript
🏡 hyperlocal Alexandria VA drama
🔮 building bizarre things nobody wants
Please don't make me run for office, I do not want to run for office.
🏡 hyperlocal Alexandria VA drama
🔮 building bizarre things nobody wants
Please don't make me run for office, I do not want to run for office.
Pinned
Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
@tomvanantwerp.com
· Aug 8
I prefer functional alcoholism to object oriented alcoholism, but it's important to be competent in multiple paradigms.
Wife: "I know you said you don't want any gifts, but I just had to get you one of these!"
Husband: "So not only did you completely disregard my request, but you also discarded everything you know about my preferences in favor of some random object recommended to you by a stranger on the Internet?"
Husband: "So not only did you completely disregard my request, but you also discarded everything you know about my preferences in favor of some random object recommended to you by a stranger on the Internet?"
I am a husband and I wouldn't want to receive any of these, dear New York Times "gift expert" www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/r...
Husbands Swear They Don’t Want Gifts. Prove Him Wrong With These 16 Finds.
Excellent offerings for your better half, no matter the occasion.
www.nytimes.com
November 14, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Wife: "I know you said you don't want any gifts, but I just had to get you one of these!"
Husband: "So not only did you completely disregard my request, but you also discarded everything you know about my preferences in favor of some random object recommended to you by a stranger on the Internet?"
Husband: "So not only did you completely disregard my request, but you also discarded everything you know about my preferences in favor of some random object recommended to you by a stranger on the Internet?"
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
Are 23 eggs not an oeuf for you?
(Pun brought to you by Patreon comments)
COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/perfor...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com
(Pun brought to you by Patreon comments)
COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/perfor...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com
November 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Are 23 eggs not an oeuf for you?
(Pun brought to you by Patreon comments)
COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/perfor...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com
(Pun brought to you by Patreon comments)
COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/perfor...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com
Y'all, I've lived in dense urban high-rises that were an order of magnitude quieter than Del Ray.
Why is there *always* some kind of construction or landscaping happening right outside my window?!
Why is there *always* some kind of construction or landscaping happening right outside my window?!
November 13, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Y'all, I've lived in dense urban high-rises that were an order of magnitude quieter than Del Ray.
Why is there *always* some kind of construction or landscaping happening right outside my window?!
Why is there *always* some kind of construction or landscaping happening right outside my window?!
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
A Star Wars droid called 501C3 that doesn't ever do anything
November 13, 2025 at 12:58 AM
A Star Wars droid called 501C3 that doesn't ever do anything
No wonder the same elites think AI is the future—it already writes at levels way beyond them.
My email prose is significantly better than America's elites', it turns out.
November 13, 2025 at 12:47 AM
No wonder the same elites think AI is the future—it already writes at levels way beyond them.
Gonna buy all of this.
Welcome to fam, ya'll!
-Steam Controller
-Steam Machine
-Steam Frame
(Growing our @steampowered.com Hardware Family in early 2026)
-Steam Controller
-Steam Machine
-Steam Frame
(Growing our @steampowered.com Hardware Family in early 2026)
November 13, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Gonna buy all of this.
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
The thing is that if you get your data from DoorDash, it might be more convenient but the costs add up in the long run, because it’s really better and cheaper to just go directly to the data place and pick it up yourself.
They’ve laid off so many people that the government is now getting its economic data from DoorDash.
November 12, 2025 at 1:37 AM
The thing is that if you get your data from DoorDash, it might be more convenient but the costs add up in the long run, because it’s really better and cheaper to just go directly to the data place and pick it up yourself.
I am being so called out right now...
November 10, 2025 at 3:21 AM
I am being so called out right now...
I'm getting desperate for somebody to announce they are primarying...
oh damn, you’re telling me that I, some idiot who tells piss jokes online, could see this and every other capitulation coming from miles away? maybe it’s time to put a piss man in charge
November 10, 2025 at 3:07 AM
I'm getting desperate for somebody to announce they are primarying...
It's about time I finally do something with this domain, isn't it?
November 10, 2025 at 1:26 AM
It's about time I finally do something with this domain, isn't it?
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
Turns out an asteroid didn't kill the dinosaurs. They just invented capitalism and house prices got higher and higher until they stopped having babies altogether.
November 9, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Turns out an asteroid didn't kill the dinosaurs. They just invented capitalism and house prices got higher and higher until they stopped having babies altogether.
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
“0% woke shit”
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
November 7, 2025 at 7:59 PM
“0% woke shit”
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
a black man with a physical disability leads an environmental terrorist cell trying to save the planet from mega-billionaires and you play as a cross dressing twink femdomed by two different women ending and the final boss against the gayest angel of all time
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
Sometimes I see people like 20 tweets deep into an argument with Grok. Like, what are you doing brother? You are trying to win an argument with a vending machine.
August 18, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Sometimes I see people like 20 tweets deep into an argument with Grok. Like, what are you doing brother? You are trying to win an argument with a vending machine.
I know that things like chocolate, raisins, onions, avocado, etc., are toxic to dogs.
But I frequently wonder: what things can dogs eat that are toxic to me? Surely there must be some food that'd wreck me but the dog would be fine?
But I frequently wonder: what things can dogs eat that are toxic to me? Surely there must be some food that'd wreck me but the dog would be fine?
November 7, 2025 at 2:05 PM
I know that things like chocolate, raisins, onions, avocado, etc., are toxic to dogs.
But I frequently wonder: what things can dogs eat that are toxic to me? Surely there must be some food that'd wreck me but the dog would be fine?
But I frequently wonder: what things can dogs eat that are toxic to me? Surely there must be some food that'd wreck me but the dog would be fine?
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.
November 6, 2025 at 7:25 PM
🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.
Serious question: why aren't air traffic controllers paid from fees charged to airlines/airports? If the PTO keeps running thanks to patent application fees, it seems reasonable to use a similar system for air travel.
November 6, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Serious question: why aren't air traffic controllers paid from fees charged to airlines/airports? If the PTO keeps running thanks to patent application fees, it seems reasonable to use a similar system for air travel.
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
When my caveman brain thinks doing chores is as dangerous as touching a crocodile
November 6, 2025 at 5:07 PM
When my caveman brain thinks doing chores is as dangerous as touching a crocodile
Trying to think of some video games my wife—who doesn't play games—would enjoy trying.
She's got zero gaming coordination, so anything fully 3D is a non-starter. Was thinking maybe an interactive novel approach?
Any ideas or recommendations?
She's got zero gaming coordination, so anything fully 3D is a non-starter. Was thinking maybe an interactive novel approach?
Any ideas or recommendations?
November 6, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Trying to think of some video games my wife—who doesn't play games—would enjoy trying.
She's got zero gaming coordination, so anything fully 3D is a non-starter. Was thinking maybe an interactive novel approach?
Any ideas or recommendations?
She's got zero gaming coordination, so anything fully 3D is a non-starter. Was thinking maybe an interactive novel approach?
Any ideas or recommendations?
New state motto just dropped.
November 5, 2025 at 6:58 AM
New state motto just dropped.
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
“How can Zohran Mamdani make free buses a reality?”
Alexandria:
Alexandria:
a woman wearing glasses and a tie is talking to another woman .
ALT: a woman wearing glasses and a tie is talking to another woman .
media.tenor.com
November 5, 2025 at 3:14 AM
“How can Zohran Mamdani make free buses a reality?”
Alexandria:
Alexandria:
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
I think a thing we'll learn tonight is that people fucking hate what is going on and they will straight ticket vote against anyone involved in starving people while pillaging the country and kidnapping their neighbors. I don't think it matters at all who that person is.
November 5, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I think a thing we'll learn tonight is that people fucking hate what is going on and they will straight ticket vote against anyone involved in starving people while pillaging the country and kidnapping their neighbors. I don't think it matters at all who that person is.
I guess it turns out that Jones's text messages are still not nearly as repellent to voters as the Young Republicans texting about how cool Hitler was. Who could've guessed? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BOOM! @decisiondeskhq.bsky.social projects Jay Jones has flipped VA AG!
November 5, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I guess it turns out that Jones's text messages are still not nearly as repellent to voters as the Young Republicans texting about how cool Hitler was. Who could've guessed? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Reposted by Tom VanAntwerp 🔵
One of the huge perks of working at a software company is, when there's something about the product that bothers you personally, you can get your hands dirty and find out why it's basically impossible to get fixed
November 4, 2025 at 11:00 PM
One of the huge perks of working at a software company is, when there's something about the product that bothers you personally, you can get your hands dirty and find out why it's basically impossible to get fixed