That combined with the chronic stuff just makes everything feel lonlier. Im not miserable (actually all things considered Im p ok) its just very noticeable, especially this time of year.

Imma eat some pie now. be safe yall ✨

If you got this far- thanks for reading haha! Im not sad, just reflecting! This year I started using neos & unfortunately it hasn’t gone well. A lot of people within the queer community still see them as a joke, and it uh sucks. Especially when you also just wanna vibe in a chill space. 🤡

It will never not be hurtful when a person I think is a friend, or a potential friend, steps away bc of my identity or chronic stuff. And yet, for as lonely as it has been, Id much prefer being surrounded by those who do see me without pitying me.

This isn’t a dig or drag on anyone elses sonas or wants btw- Im saying MY desire & dream is to exist as I am and to be stronger for it. I am seen as a monster or as subhuman by many, and while I do not agree with it, Im also not going to alert myself for the approval of those people. [cont.]

Grave, my namesake & sona, is built on what Ive been told to hide for so long. Ze has blemishes on their body, is fat, has visible disabilities, and isnt Attractive. They stick out, and are kinda funny looking- especially next to a group of sleek and sexy that rivals a Castlevania cast. [cont.]

Its easier for others to ignore it, or write it off as a non-issue I suppose. Many might say “if they cant respect you they’re not your friends”! Which- yes! They’re not. unfortunately thats a high number, and the constant feeling of “these people do not respect you” is…isolating at best. [cont.]

My body hurts on the regular. I know why it does, unfortunately there are limits to how I can help it. Just one of those things! Ironically what is becoming unmanageable isnt the pain, but the forced secret of having chronic pain at all. [cont.]

These are so cute aaa!!

AAHH then Im not a good help 😔 but there should be some tutorials (or even plugins/assets) that might help! Im never happy with pressure on CSP so Ill often ink by hand and scan it in if its very line heavy. ppl do get rather detailed & do beautiful watercolors so there’s probably some trick 🤔

Whats tripping you up the most? Idk if I can be any help but if I have any suggestions I can def throw them ur way!!

Ty Lily! I hope so too!! I think Ill be able to do gifts and a few doodles- more art will probably happen in January (at least before Valentines LOL then I return to the trenches) ✨

I barely understand how to use it 😂 the learning curve is interesting- I bs’d a LOT of stuff for a while

This is so cute!!!!

Hope you can get some rest!!

LOL I am on the loosing team but i will wave my little flag /lh
Np!!

Ngl I like Denji bc I feel like there’s endless nicknames/way to say it in ways to bother him (in endearing ways)
Also! He could grow into it u never know. Names are funny like that