i can change that with the problems i have with this. Im kinda at the end of my rope with how i wanna solve it. Keeping long connections is hard, and not all are meant to be and that is okay, but for me its just even harder.

of just, dissapering for some time and then coming back, and that is no fun for others who are not in those few people i try to keep up with daily. And i dont wanna read stuff like "Oh you can change" because thats not the problem (i know i said it but) its more that i personally dont know how

regular touch with, more like that one funny NPC you meet once and then move on.

This spiraled down into some real self esteem issues here but you get the point and honestly, i dont think there will be a solution to that. My anxiety and social akwardness are too deep roted, i have my phases

And i know how hard it can be to actually keep up with me. I rarely write first duo to anxiety, i have nothing really to talk about ever, nothing one can do with me really and in generall past the first introductionary topics i dont see myself as an interessting enough character to wanna keep in

with and the other are mostly sidelined. Not because of hate or anything just that i can't handle much more than that, but then in the end i will stand alone there with no real connections (besides my best friend) and hace to find a new group, or that is how it feels.

And this wouldn't be the first time i "lost" my major friend group after years, and it feels like you are bout to life appart some day or another.
And the other fun thing that i notice then again is at how awfull i am at keeping contact. I mostly pick a handfull of people i regurally write or talk

You never get me alive!

Who ever wants to be pray willingly
(yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes)

Ohhhh thankssss!!1

I'm so good at this

To be that pray 😞

I would have taken one crumb off a cookie but that's a DEAL!

Do i get a cookie or other small compensation along with it?

Good Morningssss