The implications of hobbit Columbo are staggering.

Yes, but it doesn't prescribe behaviour.

It's not. Morality is not a set of rules. It's a descriptor.

No, it's not. Morality is about good and evil, and as much as people should do what's good, it's not the same thing.

I think we ultimately have a disagreement on the definition of morality here. I don't want to continue this.

I could argue that contract law is an amoral framework, but you'll argue it is because as you stated, you see law as stating how one *should* act, which I don't see as related to morality.

Would you settle for giving one guy elf ears long enough to be seen from anywhere, regardless of where in the game world the guy is?