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Alistair Coleman

@alistaircoleman.bsky.social

7.5K followers 480 following 9.9K posts

Former internet celebrity. Former journalist. Current author and @apiln.bsky.social Supreme Leader. fizzandnonsense.bsky.social completes me.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · Oct 10

Once more with the Lo-fi lookalikes in foreign media, then.

Every celebrity has a lookalike in foreign media no.???: Turkish Nick Knowles out off of Strictly Come Dancing

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 17m

Rochdale Town Hall, the finest town hall for a town of its size in the north of England (Don Estelle). Also, Don Estelle.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 59m

Meanwhile in Pyongyang:
“Stone the crows, what batteries does that take?”
“I dunno, ask your mum”

Kim Jong Un taking the salute at North Korea’s 80th birthday party.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1h

“Christ on a bike, Vladimir, have you seen the conference agenda?”
“World of Melons?”
“World of Melons”
“I could have been in Pyongyang”

A fuck-Off huge pyramid of melons in an enchanted glade.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1h

The big question is “Did conference host Emomali Rahmon drag everyone along on a trip through floodlit gardens to see the melons?”

And the answer is “Of course he bloody did”.

Emomali Rahmon taking Putin and Central Asian leaders to see huge pyramids of melons.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1h

Indeed.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1h

Didn’t get Kraftwerk tickets? Blame these bastards.

Leaders at a central Asian summit meeting in Tajikistan.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 21h

Ah ha yes

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 22h

It only came today!

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Stupid sexy Fesshole

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Chippy tea?

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Christina Martin did a review. Glorious.

The Wit & Wisdom of Paul Daniels

If you were to say to me “so, read any good books lately?” the answer would be a definite “no” But who wants to read a good book when you ...

christinalouisemartin.blogspot.com

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

It is apparently still there.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

I rise from my sickbed to see that this has arrived. Opened to a random page and immediately read a “naturally I had the last laugh” story, so things are boding well.

Paul Daniels - Under No Illusion, his autobiography

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Something something Thomas the Tank something.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

I can! They weren’t allowed to open during Covid, had time on their hands and “did their own research”. See also hairdressers, café owners, taxi drivers. Actually, the taxi drivers were doing their own research long before Covid.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

$1,400 and no songs. I PAID FOR SINGING DAMMIT.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

They let me leave with even more great drugs. FOR FREE!!!

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

Ulcerative colitis, if you’re asking.

Diarrhea man from the Pepto Bismol advert.

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 1d

I have spent a lovely* day in the A&E department of Dorset County Hospital, but I’m better now and singing the praises of a) the NHS and b) morphine.

*quite shitty actually