Author | Lightnews

Aurora, all too Aurora

@auroragirl.bsky.social

2.2K followers 640 following 21K posts

transfigured woman, mathematician through and through, survivor of Bad Things, barbie nine jobs, the silliest of geese, multidimensionally queer, just as fucked up as they say

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Reposted by Aurora, all too Aurora

Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 27m

should i make a “teach yourself to juggle, it’s not that hard i promise” video?

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 3m

right? that sounds like very good advice—

(my brain: for anyone else, but c’mon i can do this, it’s gotta be easier than designing a typeface)

—thanks

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Reposted by Aurora, all too Aurora

Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief @katie.bzky.team · 26m

one's own individual insecurities are a personal battle to resolve so it is wrong to expect strangers to manage your emotions for you

rockwell standing up painting meme. the discourse bait image

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 7m

Dinky Deux

Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 9m

i mean i did imagine it and it would be so cool to accomplish but also good god i think i’d flame out early on and just feel frustrated, novel writing is probably not my thing

probably

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 11m

and at some point it clicked the pattern where if i am getting my social needs more or less met with wife and friends, then i don’t feel so strongly attached to her, but when my social needs go unmet then she becomes the only light in my darkness sort of

Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 13m

oh no, like i have interrogated myself endlessly on whether i have any romantic or sexual feelings for her, as a major point of anxiety, and though i think she is beautiful that’s also just a “i wish i could be her” thing, not “be with her”

it’s really classic “transference”

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 16m

i know, it’s terrible, i started thinking out a plot for a romance novel it would be lovely to have exist in the world this morning, but i really can’t imagine getting into novel writing

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 18m

aw thanks. i am a little raspy these days

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 18m

and sighhhhhhh that is not how a therapy relationship works

Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 19m

she just is a very good person who turned my life around in multiple important ways, and gave me a sense of the care i should have received from my parents, and is also ineffably cool and inspiring,

so part of me wants to be just like her, part of me wants her to be my big sister who i hero-worship

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 21m

yessssss but also a kind of an “aaaaahh!!!!” freak out

like when someone normal just got some kind of positive/neutral attention from their crush?

that’s me getting a sense of approval and not a concerned-about-your-behaviour from my old therapist

(who i don’t have a crush on, romantically, …)

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 27m

should i make a “teach yourself to juggle, it’s not that hard i promise” video?

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 44m

okay okay okay 😊

Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 44m

also, thank you ❤️

you really are a wonderful person lila. i'm not sure how i ended up with people like you supporting me 🥹

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 46m

going back through the letters/notes my old therapist sometimes wrote out and gave to me ❤️

this is workable. i can do this.

Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 50m

i mean i'll allow "sometimes charming or even adorable in her quirky odd fixations and naivety about the world, in between the alarming spirals" but cool seems a big stretch 😂

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 54m

ummmm

well, uhh

a pixelated image of a man making a face

Alt: Castle is lost for words

media.tenor.com

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

oh my god i did it, danced the whole song 😱🥹

and oh god back to the ramifications now, that extended break was such a relief 😭

Wolf Alice - Blush

YouTube video by Wolf Alice

www.youtube.com

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

juggling three ball cascade is surprising. with easy-to-catch loose beanbags (not balls!!) it literally takes about a week of on and off attempting, but in the first two days seems impossible. it’s just about reasonably similar controlled throws from each hand.

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

no really! it’s way easier than whistling or juggling

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

confession: most of the time when i clap for shows in the audience, i’m actually clapping in a mix of 5/4, 7/4, 8/8 etc

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

i deliberately taught myself to clap that way in elementary school and then never stopped 😁 it is honestly not difficult, even if it feels hard at first

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

i am feeling good enough i could maybe even dance??????

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Aurora, all too Aurora @auroragirl.bsky.social · 1h

(as i have said elsewhere usually my stimming is way more subtle, tapping my teeth, quietly drumming fingers or toes)

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